"Dorothy is planning to marry Whizzer, but ALF's Melmacian hiccups put the wedding in jeopardy." It barely seems like two seconds since Dorothy was being appalled by her new neighbour Whizzer and now they're hitched. What a strange time to be alive...especially if you're an unpleasantly hiccuping ALF. Is there a connection between these two plot lines? Good luck if you can find it. We even brought in a ringer to help! You'll probably know Ruth Husko from being brilliant on social media...

"Lynn is depressed over being dumped by a boyfriend for a prettier girl, so ALF enters her in a beauty pageant to increase her self-confidence." Its an oddly familiar plot as excuse for some great gags about clog dancing. ALF is at his jerky best here but perhaps for once its well placed? Your hosts as ever are Ben Baker and John Matthews who are dressed in a crimpolence blouse with ruffs from Top Shop and rather too much make-up. And if you want to pay for them to get perms, perhaps...

"After watching a presidential debate, Kate has recurring dreams of running against ALF." Another election? Did we not just do that? Well, its time to strap on your best Uncle Sam hat and never wear trousers as its a politically charged episode of ALF today - so much so we've actually bumped it up the running order a little to make it super topical and relevant. I mean, as much as a sitcom about a hairy dwarf alien can. Kissing babies and taking names as always are your hosts Ben Baker...

"Not allowed to go trick-or-treating, ALF attends Willie's Halloween party and tries to convince his boss to give Willie an overdue promotion." Ghoul-d morning ghouls and man...ghouls? Can you tell its the Halloween episode of ALF this week? And boy is it a treat with "Gordo" finally allowed to let his freak flag fly around real human beings...but with a catch. Or, more accurately, a zipper. Dressed as Fake Shemps in the corner as always are your hosts Ben Baker and John Matthews....

"When the Tanners become part of the new Thompson Rating System, ALF rigs the ratings in order to prevent his favorite show, Polka Jamboree, from being cancelled." The Tanners go TV tonto for the second time in a month as the writing staff have a lot of fun sending up broadcasting tropes, including the actual Head of Programming at NBC who is played here by someone oddly familiar. To help us tiptoe through the tube bits we have an expert in the field who loves his archive telly so much...

"ALF, after being deeply saddened by the fact that his parents got married before his birth - which is a taboo on Melmac - runs away to a monastery." Ah that standard sitcom trope! Join Ben Baker and John Matthews in their finest fibre cassocks for some monky business exploring ALF's family tree, religious intolerance (of ALF) and Willie's darkest secret. You'll find us easily - we're the ones eating paste. Want to be part of a very non silent order? Join the Orbit Guard here and...

"Raquel's claim of seeing ALF makes her subject to ridicule and prone to depression, so ALF decides to defend her." ALF has driven another person mad with his antics although for once its merely his existance that proves to be a stumbling block. Still, you know there's a great episode in store when the Ochmoneks are central to a story! And here Raquel comes face to snout with ALF at long last. Watching from behind the fence are Ben Baker and John Matthews, two British ALF fans who love...

"After becoming addicted to reruns of Gilligan's Island, ALF dreams that he has joined the castaways." If you heard Friday's set up, you'll know that this is an episode of a sitcom all about a sitcom character becoming obsessed with a different sitcom. Confused? Dont be. Just join Ben Baker and John Matthews in the lagoon with your coconut cream pie and say "aloha" to ALFsplaining, little buddy. Then get digging. Want to help get us off this fecking island? Join the Orbit Guard here...

More ALFsplaining? So soon? Well, as Monday's episode entirely revolves around the American sitcom "Gilligan's Island" - a sitcom not especially well known in the UK - we thought it would be polite to record a little introduction to what that series was all about. And to help, we've got a real life American as a guest! Not only is he a writer and editor at the website TV Line, Charlie Mason has written the lyrics to several Eurovision favourites including Conchita's "Rise Like A Phoenix"!...

"ALF has to go one week without destroying anything in the Tanners' house." Welcome wherever you are to the series by series watchalong of the American sitcom "ALF" with Ben Baker and John Matthews - and would you believe it but we've actually run out of season one! Clearly the producers felt it couldn't top the image of Racquel Ochmanek being spun around in an airplane toilet so had to immediately stop and take victory laps across America. And so here we are for season two and to assist...

How have Ben Baker and John Matthews already whizzed through 26 episodes of ALF? Gams knows but they need time to process what just happened hence this look back over season one. They choose their best and worst episodes alongside some bonus nonsense they couldn't fit in elsewhere. How top was the Willie overall? And who was the series' MVP? Its all in here and we'll be back with the next run of Melmacian mumblin' before you know it. Especially if you're listening to this ages in the future...

"ALF gives The Tanners a real estate promotion for a sales pitch and Willie opposes the idea of going on vacation and leaving ALF at home when Trevor Ochmonek offers to take them on his plane..." Its a Trevorganza! And your hosts Ben Baker and John Matthews are all in for this series finale which takes in talking toasters, stinking pigs, shrimp allergies, pony rides and one of the funniest visual gags of the series. So enjoy in audio form with us, wont you? Want us to tackle season 2?...

"A cockroach from ALF's spaceship grows to gigantic proportions." One of the most "sci fi" of the ALF plots so far, its alien vs alien to the death as scriptwriter Jerry Stahl tries to make up for the appalling "ALF fancies a teenager" script earlier in the run. Holding the bug spray are Ben Baker and John Matthews who are really only in this for the Trevor. Special sexy guest star Paul Gannon from Cheapshow, Digitiser and all that groovy stuff thankfully manages to prise them off him long...

"Brian announces that he needs to come up with a project for the Science Carnival. On his own, Brian creates a model of the Solar System. ALF points out that there are inaccuracies and offers to help." And by 'help' he means 'be a dick when people dont know about two bonus planets that are on his much more detailed maps being a space alien and all'. Ben Baker and John Matthews are your hosts trying to make sense of this really baffling edition which feels like a bottle episode but also has...

"ALF discovers the alluring world of horse racing thanks to Kate's mom who bets on them." A romp through ALF's newfound love of the geegees and gambling which apparently he had never heard of in his previous 228 years despite being a bit of a shady bum back on his home planet. Letting it ride on a photo finish are your hosts Ben Baker and John Matthews, who have only ever bet on those mechanical horses they have in Blackpool. Want some betting tips? Join the Orbit Guard here and...

"Brian must perform a song about asparagus for the school play, but is too nervous." If the above description doesnt give you the shivers, you're a braver person than Ben Baker and John Matthews who would like it to be known this episode was recorded before the tragic death of Benji Gregory. But also that there are singing children in this episode. Yeah. Want some bonus stuff? Join the Orbit Guard here and support us doing this madness: ⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/ALFsplainingExtra

"During a power outage, ALF believes that Raquel was murdered by Trevor when he watches them have arguments through their windows." It was a hot and steamy ALF....I mean night. But with the electric, air-con and more importantly the TV out, our furry friend has to make his own entertainment - naturally to Willie's disgust. But when it becomes a noir murder mystery, can he really complain any further at ALF's findings? Ben Baker and John Matthews have been sent up from "the Yard" to...

"Tired of lying to keep ALF a secret to others, Willie goes to see a therapist." A really unprofessional one to boot! What will he say when he meets ALF for the first time? Other than "WHAT THE F**K IS THAT HAIRY SH*THOUSE!?!?" obvs. This is a rollercoaster of an episode and Ben and John do their best to track the Bob Newhart references and wonder how Larry stays in business. Want some bonus therapy? Join the Orbit Guard here and support us doing this madness:...

"ALF begins to go through a Melmacian psychological and physiological transformation which happens every 75 years..." Its the inevitable 'Evil ALF' episode...although to be honest its hard to tell as its mostly business as usual for the cat-caressing child of another planet where this sort of thing is standard. How will the Tanners cope? Can Willie create a suitable cage in time? And is Brian really that stupid? All this and more will be revealed! Want some bonus excitement? Join the...

"ALF befriends a Mexican teenage immigrant who wants to go back home." But more importantly, ALF's got a smallholding and he wants us all to revel in its pleasures. Whatever the hell it is that he's growing in there. Ben Baker and John Matthews are more agog at seeing Willie's office life, not to mention his poisonous banter with his secretary. Truly, its got everything - and yams! Want some bonus excitement? Join the Orbit Guard here and support us doing this madness:...

"ALF tries to leave and disovers that he is naked. They won't let him leave and he feels that he is a hostage." Things have heated up in the Tanner residence since last episode - and we dont mean the complaints over ALF's "speciality bath" - as Ben, John and returning guest Phil Fletcher wonder out loud if ALF will ever get his memory - or his trousers - back. Lots of great insights into the puppetry too which is what you get when you invite a world class puppeteer onto the show, I guess....

"ALF loses his memory and thinks he is insurance agent Wayne Schlegel after accidentally electrocuting himself in the bathtub. The Tanners then use flashbacks to restore his memory." Yes, its a clip show, the scourge of the American TV environment...apparently. As we've seen most of the clips already, Ben Baker and John Matthews thought it was an apt time to bring in a ringer who hasnt seen them all. Its our celebrity - and only - friend Phil Fletcher off of the telly and - warning you now...

"ALF plays matchmaker with Dorothy and her new boyfriend Whizzer." Boyfriend.... pushy oddball who lives in her apartment block...same difference, right? We've another star guest turn in this episode from Paul Dooley although Ben Baker and John Matthews are really more excited about that endless box dragging. What does it all mean? Ah, just listen already! And if you like the series, maybe join the Orbit Guard here: https://www.patreon.com/ALFsplainingExtra

"Dorothy thinks ALF's favorite TV soap opera, Midwest General, is sleaze, and shows him her favorite, One World to Hope For, which ALF thinks is boring. Angered, ALF argues that he could write a better script for the series than the writers are coming up with. So ALF actually writes a script and sends it in." Oh that standard sitcom trope! Join Ben Baker and John Matthews as they attempt to understand time and the Tanners place within it in this very silly but very funny episode. Join...