Today I'm talking about relationships and the imbalance that so many of us are experiencing and tolerating in our relationships with other people. When I say people, I mean EVERYONE - your friends, family, investors, employees, and clients.  This topic matters so much because too many of us are in lopsided relationships. We are giving more than we are receiving. Women, especially, can be so willing to give, and give, and give. But we have to choose something different. Our money, missions, and joy are on the line because of how we engage in relationships. We allow people, organizations, clients, customers, and teams to enter our life willy-nilly. The threshold for engagement is too low. We think that current mistreatment will make us worthy or more ready for a future where that doesn't exist, but it doesn’t work this way.  It's much easier to endure things when you haven't taken the time to be specific about what you need. Don't let imbalanced relationships harm your spirit. You deserve more. It's up to you to make the shift. GEMS DROPPED “...many of us are actually moving through our lives and our professional experiences. … below rock bottom, and completely unaware of it because we won't allow ourselves to feel the true pain, the true rage, the true sadness, that exists here, right now, if we allow ourselves to feel it, we'd make some new decisions. And that's scary. We'd have to change. And that's scary”. “...being specific is critical, especially when we're trying to make a change. We know something isn't right where we are right now. We know it's not right. It's because we're allowing ourselves to operate in vagueness, it's much easier to continue to endure things when you haven't taken the time to be specific and precise around what needs to be what and why”. “Just because I've known you for 15, 20, 30 years, or more, doesn't mean we're friends. …the fact that that can be automatic for some of us, is getting us in trouble. We are extending loyalty to folks that have just been around for a long time that have been mislabeled as ‘friends’ because we have said time equals friendship in this instance for some reason, and they have done nothing friend-like true blue friend-like to actually have acquired their title”. “We have these different types of friends. Not any individual can be your everything. I don't think that any friend (professional, personal) can be your everything... This is to say that there are certain things that we have to define ahead of entering into [friendship]… ahead of labeling people, friends – that we should know what we're talking about first, what does ‘friend’ mean to you? … time does not equal friendship, not in and of itself”.  “People don't need to earn my energy. People don't need to earn my connection. People don't need to earn my time, people don't need to earn my loyalty. All of those things are built on trust, trust is earned. Trust is demonstrated”. “We as humans impact each other, like on a cellular level, … we have to be thoughtful about who gets in, and who we're calling friend, who we are saying that we are in relationship with… who we allow to take up that space, it should be earned”. “You laying yourself bare to just be trampled upon in a relationship is not a show of gratitude. That is simply a demonstration of inequity and abuse”. MENTIONED Monique's client referral site:  moniquershields.com/referral STAY IN TOUCH Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].