In this episode, I explore the concept of desiring change and the realization that to truly experience change, we must be willing to be changed ourselves. I share insights from coaching conversations and my personal experiences, emphasizing the importance of creating rituals and safe spaces for courageous conversations. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and transformation, where we confront the discomfort of change, embrace the power of courageous vulnerability and uncover the keys to unlocking the change we crave. GEMS DROPPED “You want more money, respect, to feel more valued and at ease as you put forth so much effort day to day in the things that you do for a living, but it's never going to happen as long as you are still walking into these situations being the same person that you have always been.” “ You want to be a different kind of mother than maybe you experienced growing up, than you see most commonly around you in your community, than you were last Season, or just a parent in general. And your heart's in the right place, your desire is clear, but you don't know how to get there. And I can say, like, you won't get there until you're ready to be changed”. “In our marriages and relationships, we want to feel free, easeful and valued, but where we stop the conversation short. We have to take things a step further and ask ourselves, how am I being free? How am I being useful? How am I valuing myself? Who am I to be in these scenarios and in these relationships, that would allow me to experience what it is I keep saying that I most want to experience?” “There's no blueprint, no exact plan for how to change because we're all unique individuals. We all have unique lives, work and relationships and so there's not some off the shelf template that you can just check down a bunch of boxes and be like, this is what I do to be this kind of different person. What’s actually required is a great deal of energy, creativity and courage to open yourself up to a decision.”   “To begin this process of being different, and identifying what that decision is, can feel confronting and difficult, especially when you're exploring these things by yourself. But the decision is always very simple. It's stop doing this, start doing this. It's say yes to this, say no to that. It's always black or white, cut and clear. Yet we try to make these half assed decisions, that are not really decisions.” “You can't just make a decision and have no rituals and habits to support the decision. You have to have rituals and habits that you begin to build, but it's not just the habits alone, it is who I believe myself to be to even embark upon changing my behaviors, to embark upon exceeding what it is that I want to experience in my work and in my life.” “Being different requires a great deal of vulnerability and you have to have the safe and courageous space to confront this stuff.” “The only way to, is through and we can't go through, we can't get through unless we are willing to be cracked open and to be changed. We have to really look at ourselves and be willing to be different with how we feel about things, how we react to things, how things settle in our gut. Otherwise, you can't make new decisions in the moment, you can't do new things if you don't feel yourself open and willing to be different.”  STAY IN TOUCH Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].