Often, we tell ourselves that the key to expanding our leadership is merely becoming better at asking for help or refining our delegation skills. But what I've unearthed in my work as a coach to CEOs and leaders is that the challenge goes deeper than tactics and tips. It's not just about optimizing to-do lists or honing delegation strategies; there's a profound internal barrier between us and the help we seek. Join me on this exploration of the struggle of asking for help and the complexities surrounding delegation. I’ll dig into the fears of appearing incompetent, needy, or even abusive when asking for help (especially as women and POC) .  I’m also dissecting the misconception that unlimited capacity equates to competence and pull back the covers on how shifting our perspective can transform our leadership dynamics.  Press play to tune in as we peel back layers and challenge the narratives that may be holding us back from authentic and sustainable leadership. GEMS DROPPED "What I am constantly finding is that it's not about the tactics, it's not about the tips, it's not about the tricks, it's not about optimizing your to-do list, not at least at first. That's not the first step. There's something that runs much deeper within us around what feels like a barrier between us and the help that we want to better leverage”. “Building this skill, building confidence and comfort, around asking for help, employing help, receiving help, it's gonna be make or break for whatever it is that you're trying to build. It creates a ceiling immediately if you can't move through this and expand and grow this part of yourself.” “I think women and people of color, we can carry a great deal of undue pressure on our leadership design… that maybe makes us account for too many variables. Trying to hold too many things, and maybe not always the things that matter the most.” “There is a level of thoughtfulness that we try to bring to our own leadership, to not repeat and not recreate a culture around reckless and uncaring delegation, and I think that there's a weight to that intent that we carry around …being better, trying to be more thoughtful… that just adds another layer of pressure to what it means to ask for help, what it means to delegate or to set expectations for someone else… what it means to be responsible when you are occupying a position of a great deal more power within a power dynamic, trying to be respectful and responsive to that.” “You're wanting to make sure that basically, the team knows that you can handle hard shit, that the team knows that you have horsepower, that they can believe in your work ethic, and your ability to handle things… but what's happening, because you have such a focus on this, on proving to this team, appearing to this team that you have what it takes, and essentially, that you are strong, is that you are conflating capacity with competence. Meaning, you’re trying as hard as you can to always appear competent through how infinite your capacity is, which it's not.”   “When we're focused on, I just need to be the strong one that's getting all the things done, we don't create space for relationships and for what really needs to be invested in here.”  STAY IN TOUCH Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].