We need a minute, post-election. We're going to take a couple of weeks off and re-group, but we'll be back soon with regular episodes! Xo, Judith and Alina ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at...

It's our podcast anniversary! We're celebrating this year by taking a look back (well, listen back!) at old episodes and seeing how our lives have changed. We want to hear from YOU! How has your life changed since you started listening to the podcast? Send us a DM on Instagram, either using text if you want us to read your update, or a voice note if you want us to include your voice in the episode! ::: This episode is sponsored in memory of Frank! You can sponsor an episode of As Long As I'm...

About a year ago, Judith and Alina joined Rob and Chris of the Sad Dads Club for a super fun and casual Instagram live! We talked about the legacy of our respective loss work (ALAIL and SDC), how our grief has changed over the years, finding a grief support tribe, and so much more. If you'd rather watch this Instagram live, you can do so HERE! We'll be back with a regular episode next week! ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - The Sad Dads Club (website, Instagram) - ALAIL | The...

This week's episode was originally going to be about many things, but once we got started, we realized that there is one topic that we needed to talk about: abortion. We discuss the implications of restrictive abortion laws, the personal nature of abortion decisions, and the importance of voting to influence reproductive rights. We cannot emphasize enough the need for equitable access to this very important type of healthcare. Two notes: 1. If discussing abortion access is triggering to...

Are we... happy? Welcome to our most recent life update, where we talk about how completely, permanently f****d up we are... and also how much joy we have in our lives in a way we haven't since Aiden and Quinn died. Both/and. ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - ALAIL | Opening a Time Capsule (and the Instagram post where you can see Judith and Aiden at the coffee shop) - ALAIL | The One Where Judith Made a New Friend, an interview with Judith's friend Mel ::: Support As Long As...

Meet Marnina! Judith and Marnina have known each other for 15 years... but they didn't really know each other until they each lost a baby. Judith lost Aiden first, and when Marnina lost her daughter Michal the next year, Judith became a lifeline for her. This was incredibly meaningful for Judith, who had needed so much care and support from others over the previous year and finally got a chance to pay it forward. Now, Marnina is a few years out, and she channels the way Judith cared for...

In case you missed it, Alina is pregnant! And it's hard. She went on a vacation a few weeks ago and faced her first "pregnancy after loss" gauntlet of questions that were well-meaning but ultimately extremely triggering. Listen to find out how she dealt with it, and to hear what advice Judith has for her and others in similar situations. ::: This episode is sponsored in memory of baby Arthur! You can sponsor an episode of As Long As I'm Living here. Arthur's favorite book: The Moon is...

Judith gave birth to her baby boy a few weeks ago, and while the birth was smooth... the subsequent hours and days were not. It was extremely traumatic for both Judith and Alina, who were acutely reminded that babies can and do die. Thankfully, Judith's son got great care and is alive and well, and they are adjusting to life at home as a family of 5ish (2 adults, 1 dead child, 2 living children, and 1 dog). This episode was recorded on the day after Judith's birth, while she was in the...

Yes, this is a pregnancy announcement ♥️ ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - ALAIL | Breathing After Loss, an Interview About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie - ALAIL | First Time Moms for the Second Time, More About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie ::: Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠! ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at...

Today on the podcast, we're welcoming back our resident grief therapist: Dr. Denise Mandel! We talk to Dr. Denise allllll about support groups. What are they, how do they help, how can you find one? We also talk about why some people DON'T like support groups, and other ways that you can find support in your loss if the group you tried to join isn't working. Dr. Denise is actively recruiting for a new baby loss support group, so if you've been looking for a kind, supportive provider and a...

Hi all! It's a holiday week here in the US, so we're taking the opportunity to release an Instagram live we did back in May to the feed. In this live, we mainly talk about a then-recent episode of the podcast in which we tell the stories of our losses. If you haven't listened to that episode yet, listen HERE and then come back and listen to all the commentary :) If you'd rather watch the Instagram Live instead of listening to it (highly recommend), you can do that HERE! We'll see you...

In this episode, Judith talks about how she's prepping as she approaches the birth of a (hopefully alive) new baby. How is she thinking about naming her son, after her first son died? What of Aiden's clothes will she put on the new baby? Will she do the same religious traditions, in the same way? How is her mental health? Preparation for a new baby is always a huge undertaking, but it's even more intense when one of your babies has died. Update: Judith's baby was born, and he's...

We are honored to be joined on the podcast today by Emily, Maliyah's Mom, to talk about her TFMR (termination for medical reasons) last year. In our previous interviews about TFMR, the parents have had to make the decision to terminate due to their baby's own serious condition(s). In this case, Emily had to choose a termination to save her own life and lost her daughter in the process. This is a crystal clear example of how abortion is healthcare. Emily's pregnancy was killing her, and there...

We are honored to be joined on the podcast today by Emily, Maliyah's Mom, to talk about her TFMR (termination for medical reasons) last year. In our previous interviews about TFMR, the parents have had to make the decision to terminate due to their baby's own serious condition(s). In this case, Emily had to choose a termination to save her own life and lost her daughter in the process. This is a crystal clear example of how abortion is healthcare. Emily's pregnancy was killing her, and there...

The statistics about freak accidents, rare diseases, and the astounding unlikelihood of your baby dying are comforting... until you're the one in a million that has a bad outcome. Our attitudes about statistics have changed. Let's talk about it. ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - The Miscarriage Odds Reassurer ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at...

Listen to Part 1 ⁠HERE⁠ and Part 2 HERE. This is the last part of our interview series with Judith's sister Ilana about how their relationship has changed since Aiden died. In this part, Ilana gives advice for friends and family of grievers for making their griever feel supported. We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by ⁠⁠Bruce Feiler⁠⁠: - The Long Goodbye: where they mourn the "old" relationship - The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits...

Listen to Part 1 ⁠HERE⁠. This is part 2/3 in our interview series with Judith's sister Ilana about how significantly their relationship changed after Aiden's loss. We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by ⁠Bruce Feiler⁠: - The Long Goodbye: where they mourn the "old" relationship - The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits and create new ones - The New Beginning: in which they live into the new version of their relationship Grab your...

For the next 3 weeks, we're interviewing Judith's sister Ilana about how their relationship was affected after Aiden died. The effect was significant. We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by Bruce Feiler: - The Long Goodbye: where they mourn the "old" relationship - The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits and create new ones - The New Beginning: in which they live into the new version of their relationship Grab your tissues. This episode...

Announcing... As Long As I'm Living podcast sponsorships! We've released 155 episodes of our podcast, and Alina has edited every single one of them. It's a LOT, and she's tired. We want to ensure that making ALAIL is sustainable so that we can keep going for as long as we have things to say. There are a couple of ways you can support the podcast (below), and you can hear more about each one in this episode. 1. One-time support 2. Monthly support 3. Episode sponsorships Our content has...

Guess what... 3 years out from our sons dying, and we feel "sufficiently" healed to the point that we are not complete and total walking disasters 24 hours a day anymore. Does that mean we're actually completely healed? Of course not. But it feels good to know that parts of our personalities, relationships, and worlds have recovered more than we ever thought possible. ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at...

We are joined on the podcast today by chaplain Reverend Marcie Brozyna! Marcie is a bereaved mother to her son Rumi, who she lost at 26 weeks pregnant, but even before that she was a hospital chaplain working with the recently bereaved (or soon-to-be bereaved). We talk about Christian mourning rituals, and especially how they are applied after the death of a child. We are so grateful to Marcie for her perspective (and her patience as we ask her to explain the literal basics of...

In this episode of As Long As I'm Living, we talk about an article that caused a LOT of controversy on our Instagram. It turns out that you are at higher risk for sudden death after the death of a loved one... but in a surprising twist, you are MORE at risk after the death of a spouse than after the death of a child. At first we didn't really believe it... but the more we talked about it we kind of do! Listen to hear our thoughts, then message us on Instagram with yours! ::: Things we...

Hello! We're here to give you all a basic life update. What's going on with Alina's IVF journey, how is Judith's pregnancy progressing (yes, we also talk about the intersection of these two things...), and an opportunity to marvel at how much we get done when we're together. Xo, Alina and Judith ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at...

Today we're welcoming Aiden's Dad back to the podcast! In this episode, we talk to Aiden's Dad about what the past few years since our last interview with him (which you can listen to HERE). During that interview, we talked about the story like it was over, but in hindsight, it was just beginning. Aiden's Dad talks about grief and trauma aftershocks, depression, the weight of continuing to be a parent and spouse and employee while dealing with your own personal struggles, and so much more....