Ah, the holiday season! A time filled with twinkling lights, joyful gatherings, and, let's face it, a few emotional landmines for those who have been through the wringer with sexual betrayal. If the holiday cheer takes a nosedive because you discovered your partner’s unfaithfulness—whether it was last month, a year ago, or even two decades back—we totally get it.  It's completely natural for memories, triggers, and difficult emotions to surface and cast a shadow over the festivities.    But...

Making and apology to our betrayed spouse is one of the more important facets of our recovery process. However, have you had the experience when making an apology to your spouse, it seemed to cause more damage than give relief? So, what is the secret to a good apology and how can it be done with respect and honesty that can lead to true intimacy.   Since publishing episode #10, When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology, we have had many requests for the Healing Apology...

Have you ever lost something or had something taken away from you and you deeply felt the loss?   Or perhaps you gave something precious away that you now regret or grieve and want to get it back.   Would you be willing to travel a potentially painful path to have your loss restored?   The path of redemption can be challenging at best and painful at its worst. But what if the road less traveled brought victory and healing from your past and freedom for your future?   You will not want to miss...

On this show, we have often talked about forgiveness - the need for extending forgiveness and how to walk out forgiveness. It has been in the context of forgiving your spouse for sexual betrayal, but what about the other woman? Or women? There are many different scenarios and every marriage has a unique story of brokenness. But there is a common thread of knowing there are those outside of your marriage who contributed to and/or participated in your spouse’s sexual sin. How do you forgive...

Have you ever found yourself in a situation that totally surprised you, leaving you unsure of how to react? It happens to all of us! When we’re on the journey to recovering from sex addiction, those unexpected moments can be particularly challenging. It’s important to be aware and not let our guard down, as staying vigilant plays a crucial role in our recovery. We’d love for you to join us today as we chat about the importance of staying watchful throughout our recovery process and how it can...

When you hear the statement, "I do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it". What thoughts and/or emotions surface immediately? Our experience has shown us that the initial reaction from a betrayed spouse will likely differ from that of the one who has broken faith. The former will react in a posture of, "You better regret your past!". And the latter will feel that they are “supposed to” regret their past actions.   Join us today as we navigate our way through this potentially...

Have you ever wondered how to hear God speaking to you? When we have deep wounds such as betrayal trauma and sexual integrity issues, we can feel desperate to hear the voice of God. We want him to tell us what to do to get relief from the ever-present pain and anxiety we are experiencing to find freedom and healing.   Today we are so excited to share our interview with Heather O’Brien host of the top 5% globally ranked podcast, "Heal with God”. She gave us some incredible insights into what...

If you are listening to our podcast on a regular basis, and we hope you are, you are likely working hard to stay married after porn-fueled infidelity.   One challenging area that needs to be addressed in the recovery process is shame and guilt. Many times, shame and guilt are used interchangeably as though they are the same. Do you know there’s a difference? What are the differences?   Join us today for our conversation on the difference between guilt and shame and how one of these is...

We know our story of sexual betrayal and recovery is not the only one out there, so we are excited to share with you a compelling conversation we had with Steve Shields from the Unashamed Unafraid podcast. He tells his unique and very personal story of how a Christian man trapped in porn addiction was able to come to terms with his powerlessness, and after several recovery setbacks, was finally able to get experience freedom from shame and addiction and help others get free as well.   It is...

We had planned to update and replay episodes all this month to help us take things a little slower for our anniversary. Well, we got of our 2 most popular shows out, but this week we decided to share some new content with you.   We want to give some encouragement and a little guidance to those of you who are struggling in the storm of your broken marriage. Whether you have been betrayed or you have broken trust, this episode will show you how to find peace and comfort through the praise and...

It's been almost a year and a half since we first told our stories of sexual addiction and betrayal on our podcast. A lot has happened since then!   We are so very grateful for the recovery, healing, and growth that both of us have experienced since D-Day in 2018. It has been due to God's help, tons of hard work on our part, and a great support community.   To commemorate our 37th wedding anniversary, we are taking a little slower pace for the month of September. So, on today's episode, we...

September is our anniversary month and we're celebrating by taking a break from creating new episodes this month, but rather updating and replaying a few of our most popular episodes.    Today we are revisiting Episode #2 Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me, where Emily bares her soul to tell the story of Johnny's marital infidelity* fueled by pornography use. And although it was Not Her Fault in any way, she is not perfect and you will hear some of the ways she fell short in her life too. But...

Wives, do you have a desire for your husband to lead you and your family spiritually? Of course!   Husbands, are you at a loss for what that looks like and how you can show up for your wife in this area? Yeah, probably.   Unfortunately, in many Christian marriages, this is often a reality. A wife will take up the responsibility of being the spiritual head of the home because her husband isn’t stepping into that role.   When betrayal and addiction are revealed, reasons for his passivity become...

Wives, are you trying to communicate your feelings to your husband and somehow it always ends up being about him. Are just not feeling seen, heard and validated?   Men, is your wife explaining to you how she feels or coming at you with big emotions and you find yourself at a loss of how to respond?   This can happen in any marriage, but when sexual betrayal is a reality, the pain and frustration seem magnified to levels that threaten to break the marriage. But, when she finds her voice and he...

How much do you value keeping your word? And how does it make you feel when someone doesn't keep their word?   For a betrayed wife, it becomes even more important that her recovering husband keep his word. This new display of reliability provides the safety and security that she desperately needs in a time of confusion and broken trust. When he makes the effort to follow through on his promises, he's slowly rebuilding a solid foundation of trustworthiness that she can depend on.   Join us for...

We all have priorities, whether we make them intentionally or they exist by default. At times our priorities can be misguided and cause pain for ourselves and for others. We also understand that priorities are important and it’s necessary to have them in the right order.   And for a betrayed wife, it’s imperative to know that she is a priority to her husband.   Today as we continue in our series, we will cover a wife’s need to feel she is more important to her husband than anyone or anything...

Following the revelation of sexual betrayal, a couple must decide whether to stay together or not. Choosing to stay married initiates a complex journey of recovery and healing, filled with challenges and triumphs.   However, the journey may be prolonged due to the betrayer's lack of understanding the needs of the betrayed. Initially, the focus is on the betrayer's recovery and repairing the damage. The betrayed spouse often struggles to feel safe and discern truth.   Today we will be speaking...

Has the reality of porn-fueled infidelity in your marriage come to light? Have you both decided to stay together and want to do your part to save your marriage?   Husband, have you decided to go all in on making it right? Are willing to do whatever it takes to recover from the devastating consequences of your bad decisions, but moving forward in your relationship with your wife seems difficult?   Wife, are you hurt and confused about how this could have possibly happened? Are you grieving the...

It wasn’t until I stopped using pornography altogether and the fog lifted that I learned just how much effect it had had on my brain. The further I got away from the porn and the more days of sobriety I achieved, I found that I was able to think more clearly and process the difficult truth of my sex-addiction. Understanding porn’s effect on my brain helped to explain so many of my actions, or lack thereof, before I was finally discovered and came out of the shadows.   Here are just 4 shocking...

How was your week? Did it go as planned? This week, a verse really hit home for us in a big way...   We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9   Imagine this - just as we were about to hit the button to record today’s podcast episode, a sudden interruption caught us off guard. Johnny received a private message that sparked a whirlwind of emotions and confusion. It was from a woman Emily didn't know.   Talk about getting triggered!   It turned out to be a false...

After discovering your spouse had betrayed you sexually, what was your initial reaction? We bet it wasn’t joy. We know that there are many volatile emotions that come on the heels of that shocking and devastating news - among them pain, anger, and confusion.   As you try to make sense of the senseless in your new unwanted reality, you may find yourself desperately longing for relief from the ever-present despair that threatens to overwhelm you.   On today’s show, we are going to explore joy....

Many of us have heard the phrase “Freedom Isn’t Free” and if you have not heard it, you likely understand the idea behind it knowing that in order to gain freedom of any kind some form of sacrifice needs to be made. And sacrifices are not called sacrifices because they are easy.   Are you feeling like you’re trapped in a never-ending cycle of anger, confusion, shame, and pain? Do you long for freedom from your current circumstance?    In today’s show, we will discuss how freedom to live in a...

The day you never imagined you’d ever live to see has come and gone; D-Day. You have discovered sexual betrayal in your marriage. Whether you found out or your spouse confessed, you can’t believe that this has happened. You may be asking yourself, Is my marriage over? Is it worth saving? Is it possible to move forward?   Today we are going to answer those questions from our own perspective. Spoiler alert, we did make the choice to stay married and we are so glad we did! Even though it has...

Do you ever stop and wonder why? Why did this happen? Have you lamented, “Can anything good ever come of it?”   When the discovery of sexual betrayal threatens to destroy your marriage, you may think you won’t survive it. Then, if you have made the choice to stay and do the hard work of recovery, you start to see God working in your life and marriage to bring hope and healing. A little further down the road on this journey, you might see how much God has blessed you and wonder why others in...