What is isolation, and where does it truly begin?   Imagine a lone animal in the wild, separated from its herd. We've all seen those heart-wrenching documentary scenes where isolation turns them into easy prey. Nature's example is a powerful reminder of a harsh reality: when we isolate ourselves from our community, we become vulnerable to the schemes and traps of our Enemy who is actively looking to devour us. (1 peter 5:8)   In isolation, destructive and addictive behaviors often take root,...

As a recovering sex-addict, I now find comfort in knowing that my addiction was real and that there is hope through recovery that I will not have to live the rest of my life as a “dis-integrated” man, always trying to hide myself from others based on a lie that if they really knew what I was doing, they would reject me.   But I didn’t always understand that I truly was a sex-addict. It wasn’t until the idea was expressed to me by someone else that I made the choice to face the reality that...

Have you ever felt like God was nudging you towards something challenging in life?  Maybe a call to step out of your comfort zone and venture into the unknown. It can be intimidating, right? Would you be willing to take that leap of faith and trust that God has your best interests at heart, even when the path ahead seems uncertain? If you have taken that leap, have you experienced God's faithfulness along the way?   Well, we certainly have, and today we want to share our journey with you....

Does a cheating husband who has chosen the path of repentance and recovery experience any losses? The short answer is yes. But it may not be evident to a betrayed wife, especially when stacked up against her seemingly infinite losses. She may not see many tangible losses or consequences for his infidelity.   Today, we are going to outline some perceived perks received by the husband stemming from extra-marital relationships and contrast them with losses his wife experiences due to his...

One of our listeners wrote in to ask a question about how to help her friend who is going through the pain of sexual betrayal. First, we just want to say how grateful we are for those of you who take time to write us and share what’s on your heart. We love to get questions that we can answer from our experience. Please keep them coming!   Today we will discuss two different types of friends in this scenario and the best way for each of them to help a friend going through this difficult...

After betrayal, big emotions are a reality. When expressed well and received well, they can be a catalyst for healing and growth.    Today we will be talking about big emotions, what they are and how to handle them properly. We will also give you insight to the benefits of working through big emotions together to promote connection and intimacy. We’re excited to share our perspective on this topic as we have lived it and learned from it. So pop in your earbud and join us for a riveting...

My betrayed sisters, if you were given the opportunity to learn the truth about your spouse’s sexual betrayal, would you take it?   My fellow betrayers, if there was a safe and judgement free environment where you could get all your secrets out and alleviate your burden of shame, would you go for it?   Would you both be willing to do all it takes to reveal and know the truth?   Join us today as we give an overview of a very effective process that can give a marriage broken by sexual betrayal...

Is your marriage thriving after sexual betrayal? Maybe not. Maybe you are just surviving.   You might just be at the beginning of the journey to healing and still don’t even know if you want to stay married. Maybe you and your spouse have been working hard on recovering from this devastation, but you aren’t really connecting in a fulfilling way yet. Or, maybe you have reached a point as a couple where you feel like you have a brand-new marriage, and it’s better than the one you had before...

Wives, has your husband stopped his acting out behavior and is even showing some behaviors that you appreciate, but you still feel like he isn’t a changed man? Do you still feel the distance between you? Like he doesn’t really see you?   Husbands, are you doing all the things your wife has requested and feel like you are moving forward in recovery, but she isn’t responding the way you hope or expect?   Today we are going to talk about an aspect of sexual betrayal recovery we’ve experienced...

Have you been on the healing journey after sexual betrayal and you and your spouse are ready to level up? Do you want to experience more true intimacy?   Today we will be talking about 3 simple steps to take that are not easy because it will involve some risk. But, if you are looking for intimacy that goes far beyond anything that our world has to offer, it’s so worth it!   So, come spend a little time with us to hear how you can grow closer to your spouse, even if you have already made great...

Hopefully you’ve heard both sides of our sexual intimacy story, or lack thereof, in episodes 45 and 46. If not, we encourage you to listen to those to gain a better understanding of how we got to the place where our broken marriage got new life after God intervened and recovery began.   Now, we share a wonderfully intimate sexual life together, but it wasn’t easy getting here. On today’s show we will run down the progression of our sex life from Discovery Day and Disclosure Day when Johnny...

Men, do you have a secret relationship with pornography and/or others outside of your marriage? Are you consumed by your thought life and hiding things from your wife that you don’t want her to know? Is sex with your wife becoming challenging, difficult, or just too much effort? Do you feel misunderstood? Are you afraid that if she knew everything about you, she would leave you?   Last week, Emily shared her perspective on our sexual relationship through the years up until Discovery Day and...

Ladies, have you spent years trying to connect with your husband in a meaningful and fulfilling way only to find that you just couldn’t get there no matter what you did? Has it ever occurred to you that you may be trying to experience intimacy with a sex-addict? Seems oxymoronic, right? Intimacy with a sex- addict. We think so as well. But how many wives are living this nightmare without knowing why? Over the next 3 weeks we will be sharing our perspectives on the pitfalls of trying to...

Ladies, now that you know your husband has been unfaithful and broken covenant with you; maybe through pornography use, maybe it even escalated to being sexually active outside of your marriage, I want to ask you, what is your biggest fear?   If you are like me, you are afraid that he will do it again. This is a very real and natural thing to be concerned about. Trust me, if it happened once, it can happen again.   Now, if your spouse is in recovery and making good, steady forward progress,...

What happens to a marriage, shattered by porn-fueled infidelity, that doesn’t undertake a specific recovery process? What happens to the individuals in that marriage?     We believe, it’s likely that this marriage will be devoid of real connection and true intimacy. Sure, it is possible to stay married without recovery. Couples can sweep it under the rug denying it’s impact. Or, one spouse may be unwilling to do the hard work of recovery and leave the other feeling not seen and not secure in...

Have you ever experienced a life-changing revelation that compelled you to share it with others and integrate it into your life? This is similar to the impact of embracing recovery and is at the very heart of what we felt when we surrendered to Jesus. Today, we will explore the 12th step of recovery, and how we can actively share our message while living out these steps in our daily lives.   So, grab a beverage and something to take notes with and join us as we discuss 7 ways we can share our...

Do you find it difficult to connect with God and know his will for your life?   If you said yes, you are not alone. Just like the recovery journey, it takes a lot of persistent and consistent effort to cultivate a close relationship with the Lord. It doesn’t come naturally to us mere humans, but there is a roadmap for discovering how to make connecting with God a priority. It’s found in the Bible. Today we are going to unpack Step 11 of the Sex Addicts Anonymous Recovery Program, which is all...

Let us be the first to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day! Okay, how did that make you feel? Did you smile? Did it make you cringe? Did it bring up a feeling of excitement, or anger or even dread?   We’ve found that Valentine’s Day is a tricky holiday. Well, it’s not a public holiday, but it is a recognized day on the calendar for celebrating love between sweethearts. We’re going to be talking today about the different ways people either love or hate this day that comes around every year with...

Do you have a daily practice of self-reflection? Do you ever stop to take stock in how you act, think, and feel when relating to others? Most of us have heard the phrase - wash, rinse, repeat. And no, we aren’t talking about the latest greatest shampoo. Today as we talk about the 10th Step in SSA Recovery we will peel back the layers of what a daily personal inventory can look like and why we should even do it?   From the Green Book of Recovery: “In the 10th step we embrace the discipline of...

Last week we asked the question: Have you ever hurt someone and come to not only realize that you hurt them but understood exactly how you hurt them?   This week we want to ask: Have you felt any fear or intimidation when making the choice to go back and right that wrong?   We have a special guest today who is going to share with us his experience with Step 9 of the Sex Addicts Anonymous Recovery Program.   So go ahead and pop in your ear bud and join us! It is time to take action toward...

Have you ever hurt someone and come to not only realize that you had hurt them, but understood exactly how you hurt them? Today as we cover the 8th step of recovery of Sex Addicts Anonymous, it is time to do the work of making a list of those we've harmed through our destructive sexual behaviors and become willing to make amends.   Working this step means finding the willingness to bring resolution to these relationships, regardless of whether or not those involved behaved rightly toward us....

Have you come to a place in life where you have been humbled by your own actions and are ready to move forward with hope and integrity? It is time to approach God humbly and ask him do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.   From the Green Book of Recovery: "We may wonder why it is necessary to ask humbly. Many of us have confused humility with humiliation. We were more familiar with pleading for, or demanding what we wanted, than with asking. In fact, it takes humility to ask for help. It...

Have you come to a place where you understand that some of the things that you do are not beneficial for you? Or are even hurtful to others?   What do you do once you’ve discovered this? Do you say, “Well, that’s just me.” Or, do you decide that you want to change these behaviors for your own good and the good of those you love? If so, how do you go about making these changes?   From the Green Book of Recovery: Wanting our lives to change is not the same thing as being actually ready for...

Have you noticed that New Year’s resolutions don’t last much past January for most people? Statistically, 91% of Americans fail at New Year’s resolutions. That’s not very encouraging.   We were going to talk about the reasons why resolutions are so hard to keep in today’s episode, but then Holy Spirit intervened. So, we threw out our outline and just had a candid conversation about our first New Year after sexual betrayal shattered our marriage.   Today, on New Year's Day, we want you to know...

Before you got married, you had in your head an idea of what you wanted your marriage to look like. You had all kinds of hopes and dreams and they were all good, positive things and you made plans according to this picture in your mind.   But things didn’t go exactly as planned.   This is not the first time this story has played out. God made plans for how he wanted his relationship with mankind to look.   Men, God intended for you to have a work to do, a woman to love and a will to...