I know that all parents probably hear their children, at one time or another, complain that their brother or sister are getting more attention or special treatment than he or she is.  Hearing, “But it’s not fair!” is something to which all of us parents can relate.  For me, this feeling of unfairness occurs not only in the typical situations, but also in unpredictable times.  My son has anxiety and there are many times when his anxiety rises and he needs me.  He needs me to leave the room...

Once when I was driving on the highway I noticed a woman, who looked to be about 85 years old, walking on the side of the highway.  I looked for a car that she possibly abandoned but didn’t see one.  My first thought was that she had Alzheimer’s disease and was lost and wandering.  I immediately called 911 to make sure she was okay.  You’ve heard about these situations in which a person with memory loss is relocated, or to use a word I hate “placed” in a “secured” setting for their own...

I was raised in a family who used guilt as a motivation technique.  I say that a bit in tongue and cheek but there are situations in which guilt is used or to drive us into action or as a form of manipulation.  I’m not sure if it was my early introduction to guilt or if it is just my personality, but I feel guilty at least 10 times a day about something I have or have not done.  Sometimes I can quickly let my guilt go and move forward and other times it keeps me awake at night and leads me to...

Many of my listeners have heard me discuss my family and I think I’ve mentioned my son.  When I was pregnant with him, I was sick a lot and I wonder if that was because he was feeling unsettled, even in utero.  The moment he was born he needed me intensely, much more than my daughter.  He always wanted to be in my arms and would cry and cry when not with me.  In the first few years of his life he continued to be very attached to me and I noticed the difference with his behaviour and...

Most of the time when I speak to my friends, family or colleagues and ask them how they are doing, there is a standard and quick “Good, thanks.”  But when we take a moment to really talk about life, I hear about the challenges of finding balance with work, family, caregiving, health, and many other aspects of our day to day experience.  But every once and awhile, I hear stories of passion and excitement for new projects at work or at home, a sport or an activity that brings pleasure, or a...

My friend was just telling me a story about how the commute to her job is killing her.  She’s spending 10 hours in the car each week and she has no time to decompress.  Her nights are spent rushing through homework and domestic tasks while her kids feel like she’s only half-there. Due to her guilt and fatigue, her sleep patterns are compromised and so when she is at work she’s only half-performing.  This causes more stress and fear that her boss will find her ineffective and eventually she’ll...

There are many moments in each day when many of us question what we’re doing.  Am I really a good mother?  A good father?  A good wife or husband?  Am I a good employee doing what I can to move up the corporate ladder?  So many of us walk around filled with doubt and afraid and discouraged that what we do not only doesn’t matter, but has not even been successful.  Our society uses “success” as a driver for so many things and particularly to define our happiness.  But what is success and how...

You arrive at work on a Thursday morning as usual to find your colleagues standing around talking. When you approach and ask what’s going on you are shocked to learn that your supervisor has just asked to take an extended leave. He was diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer. You and your colleagues commiserate on how awful and scary this must be for him and his family. You quickly set up a collection of funds to send him a get well soon card and some gift baskets. Over the next several weeks your...

But it’s my decision! I’m the one who’s been taken care of him! What gives you the right to make a decision for me? These are not uncommon statements made by families experiencing medical and health crises. And what about the health care professionals caught in these family disputes? How do they treat and care for a patient when the family is not aligned? Shared-decision making is essential in preserving family harmony while simultaneously meeting the care needs of a sick and vulnerable...

How many times have you walked out of your doctor’s office only to think about the 5 questions you forgot to ask?  Or as your driving home you’re saying to yourself, “Wait.  I don’t want to take that new medication.  Or, wait! I’m not happy with where my treatment is going.  Or, wait!  Why didn’t I speak up and tell her what my expectations are!”  Even though I’m in the health care world and one would think that I know how to advocate for myself and be a partner in the type of care I receive,...

While driving to work you feel your stomach in knots.  You are trying to believe that today will be different.  You visualize yourself entering the office, smiling and warmly greeting everyone.  You sit down at your desk, boot up your computer and get your day underway.  But deep down you know that your day won’t be so smooth.  Your colleagues will make snide comments under their breath or even boldly to your face.  They think it’s funny to make fun of your gender, or your work, or your...

The alarm goes off at 6am.  The last thing I want to do is get out of bed but duty calls.  Breakfast for the kids, finalize lunch boxes, school drop off, rushing to a work appointment, swinging by the grocery store on my way back to the office, finish the report my boss asked for 2 days ago, shove a granola bar in my mouth as  I rush from work to pick up my mom’s medication at the pharmacy, pick up the kids, drive to my mom’s to give her the medication and review an insurance form she...

I’m from California and when I first moved to Montreal my husband and I had a deal that we would return to my hometown after 10 years.  Well, I’ve been here 13 ½ and there are no signs of returning.  Truthfully, between years 9 and 12 I was finding myself angry and bitter that our plans were not moving forward.  I felt trapped in a city in which, sure I had a good job and friends, but there were so many things that I missed from home, mainly my family, the weather and the beach.  I was not...

How many times a day do you observe someone on their cell phone, scrolling through emails or setting a date in their calendar?  Or how about taking a picture, asking Siri a question, or looking for directions?  I often wonder how I got by without my phone or computer without all of this technology!  Have you ever seen a couple or family in a restaurant not talking to each other and focused on their phones instead?  Or someone using his/her phone to avoid asking a stranger for directions or...

Why is it that with some people I can have these meaningful conversations in which I feel like a good connection and understanding is made and then just days later it’s as if it never happened?  I experience this at times with my husband and it tends to revolve around minor things but I have to admit that there are a few deeper topics that we have discussed repeatedly, yet it seems like we aren’t making progress. Why is this?  Fortunately, we have the luxury of time to figure some of this...

I’ve heard about teachers who ask their students to write their own obituary.  It sounds kind of morbid, but when you think about it, it’s a great exercise of life reflection, goal achievement, identifying priorities and thinking about our legacy.  I’m not sure how many teenagers can really think about their future in this way, but what a fantastic exercise for all of us to do right now.  How would I write my obituary?  When I project far into the future, what do I want my family and others...

My personal passion is the flying trapeze.  Yes, like in the circus.  I jump from a platform, swing through the air only to let go and be caught by the catcher and then launched back to catch that same bar and swing up to the platform again.  My family thinks I’m crazy, and likely my kids do as well, but my contemporaries, my friends, understand fully my quest to feel young, strong and vibrant.  Believing that I am a young trapeze artist and living as if that is true has literally turned me...

It is no secret that caregivers are tapped out of physical and emotional energy.  In theory, caregivers know it’s healthy and necessary to take time for themselves but this is not always possible.  Transcendental meditation has been proven to reduce stress and improve overall health.  Today’s guest on Caregivers’ Circle, Bob Roth (https://www.davidlynchfoundation.org/staff.html), Executive Director of the David Lynch Foundation (https://www.davidlynchfoundation.org/) will explain what...

My friend told me a story about how during one evening’s bedtime rituals with her kids, she completely lost it when her son wouldn’t brush his teeth.  She grabbed the toothpaste tube and angrily squirted the entire tube on his toothbrush and all over the floor.  I reassured her that this was not the insane behaviour of a lunatic but quite normal.   In a show of support I shared a story about when I screamed at my daughter that if she didn’t study she would have no options in her life but to...

How many times have you walked out of your doctor’s office only to think about the 5 questions you forgot to ask?  Or as your driving home you’re saying to yourself, “Wait.  I don’t want to take that new medication.  Or, wait! I’m not happy with where my treatment is going.  Or, wait!  Why didn’t I speak up and tell her what my expectations are!”  Even though I’m in the health care world and one would think that I know how to advocate for myself and be a partner in the type of care I receive,...

Dr. Al Etmanski (http://aletmanski.com/) writes “Words matter. Not just theirs but ours too. They transform both speaker and hearer. When we are angry or hurt, when we feel ignored or misunderstood, our words can amplify our deepest insecurities and perpetuate mutual misunderstanding.”  The language we use is the platform for which many of our thought patterns, perceptions and behaviours are built.  Words can change us and those around us.  For those individuals and families touched by...

Care coordination.  Continuity of care.  Team planning.  Care manager.  Or how about cognitive capacity, disorientation, palliative, terminal, agitated, delirious, Demented…..AHH!  There are so many terms that health care professionals toss around casually and families and patients struggle to follow along and understand what symptoms are present, what it means and what treatment is available.  Language in the healthcare world can be confusing for even the most sophisticated people and more...

No matter how difficult parenting is in the moment, parents can always consider that the day to day grind and worry of parenting will lessen when our children leave the home, marry and have kids of their own. That’s not to say we don’t always worry about our children, but our sense of responsibility over their well-being and basic survival is minimized.  That’s not the case for parents who are raising a child with some type of long term special need.  Parents of children with Autism, Cerebral...

It’s very difficult to keep a balanced perspective on life when you feel like you are sinking.  I personally have tried to look at the big picture to stay calm and focused but often get overwhelmed with the little details and feel trapped in my situation.  Many of us tell ourselves that we will start to slow down, not sweat the small stuff, take a few minutes to breathe, stay present in the moment, or even get so bold as to imagine 20 minutes of meditation a day.  Then what happens?  Life. ...

But it’s my decision!  I’m the one who’s been taken care of him!  What gives you the right to make a decision for me?  These are not uncommon statements made by families experiencing medical and health crises.  And what about the health care professionals caught in these family disputes?  How do they treat and care for a patient when the family is not aligned?  Shared-decision making is essential in preserving family harmony while simultaneously meeting the care needs of a sick and vulnerable...