Do you find yourself repeatedly falling into patterns of insecurity, sabotaging your relationships and sense of self-worth? Many of us are haunted by memories from the past that influence our current thoughts, emotions, and sensations—creating a cycle of negativity that feels impossible to break. But there is a way out. Through compassionate self-awareness and targeted self-compassion, you can learn to transform these self-defeating cycles into empowering pathways for growth. In this episode, we delve into practical strategies to help you transform your relationship with yourself and others. We'll explore the powerful STEAM model—sensations, thoughts, emotions, actions, and mentalizing—as a guide to building self-awareness and self-compassion. By reflecting on past patterns and practicing compassionate self-awareness, you'll learn how to separate recurring thoughts and feelings, fostering growth and self-acceptance. Additionally, we'll uncover insights into attachment styles and how they shape your perceptions and interactions, providing you with the tools to improve your sense of worthiness and lovability. Tune in to discover methods for cultivating emotional resilience, empathy, and connection, paving the way for healthier relationships and a more grounded sense of self. Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps is dedicated to helping people understand themselves and what they need to do to become emotionally and psychologically healthy. She is in private practice, hosts a YouTube channel, and is a prolific writer. She has authored The Insecure in Love Workbook, Insecure in Love, and Bouncing Back from Rejection. She also writes the Authentically You blog and the Making Change blog on Psychology Today. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 6:29 Leslie’s passion for helping people and how her career has evolved. 9:37 Understanding attachment theory and its impact on well-being. 13:54 How early experiences influence adult relationships and attachment styles. 22:00 The importance of understanding one's attachment styles and the concept of self-awareness in fostering healthier relationships. 30:55 Differentiating between thoughts and emotions to gain greater self-awareness and break the cycle of insecurity. 34:24 Using steam to break the cycle of insecurity and self-sabotage. 46:49 A comprehensive resource for relationship growth. Mentioned The Insecure in Love Workbook (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Insecure in Love (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Bouncing Back from Rejection (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Insecure in Love [large print edition] (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Insecure in Love Workbook (*New Harbinger Publications Affiliate link) (book) ERP 423: How to Transcend Trauma (And the Effects Experience in Relationship) — An Interview with Dr. Frank Anderson ERP 261: How to Strengthen Your Relationship from a Polyvagal Perspective – An Interview with Dr. Stephen Porges Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love Connect with Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps Websites: drbecker-phelps.com Facebook: facebook.com/DrLeslieBP YouTube: youtube.com/c/LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/leslie-becker-phelps-ph-d-7221b155 Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: [email protected] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few