Every one of us that’s walked through the pain of a story you wouldn’t have chosen knows how much it means when people stay. When they willingly step into your mess and stand by your side. When they remember the dates and say their names and sit in silence while you cry and lead the way through the dark. When they sacrifice their own desires for your survival and needs. And as I've read the Christmas story this year through the lens of my own weakness and longing and loss, here's what I'm...

Nothing about a newborn baby conjures up the image of peace. Especially a newborn baby born in a stable, during a census, and leads his family to flee for their lives. But calling a baby the Prince of Peace reminds us that peace doesn't always mean that our circumstances are calm or under control. It simply means we have access to it even when they aren't. Mary carried peace in her arms, but we carry it in our spirits. No matter what external circumstance we face.

If you’re weary of waiting for things in your own life right now, Advent might seem like a backward thing to celebrate. Why would we embrace a season of waiting in our faith when we’re doing everything we can to get out of one in our own lives? Because Advent reveals to us the “suddenly” movements of God where everything changes in a moment, no matter how long you've been waiting, He's been working, and we can get our hopes up in expectation of what He can do. If you're joining our Advent...

Thanksgiving can be hard when we're carrying grief, and we're unsure if there's enough room for gratitude also. But gratitude and grief don't cancel each other out. You can carry both at the exact same time. If the holidays are hard for you, this Thanksgiving blessing might be exactly what you need.

I've grown up loving the church my whole life. I know that hasn't been everyone's story, but I care deeply for the local church and her role in the Christian faith. But when Imogen died, we were deeply disappointed in the way the church we were attending responded. It wasn't intentional, but the framework they built with their words and their lack of reaching out to us in our grief indicated that our pain wasn't welcome, our suffering wasn't seen, and our grief had to be handled alone. I...

Peter and I have been actively asking God to grow our family for over a year now since Imogen was born. We know that path might look different than we've imagined or planned, so we've been asking Him to show us the next steps when it's time. I'm sharing all about where He's leading us and where we are in the process today. This episode is full of personal updates and a big announcement about what's next! Click here to learn more and donate toward our adoption expenses.

Sometimes our seasons of waiting don't produce the outcome we want, they don't result in life, or at least not the life we expected. And yet, God promises us that the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. In your waiting, God is enlarging your expectation for everything that will be fulfilled in heaven. And He’s also increasing your capacity for joy in everything He’s giving you here on earth. What are you waiting for? Join the conversation on Instagram:...

There’s undeniable value in naming your reality right now; in acknowledging the pain and accepting our grief as it comes. But there’s also value in acknowledging a reality far greater than what we see right now. Something beyond the sharp edges that don’t make any sense. Something more real than the things we can touch. Something that lasts forever, even after earth passes away. In today's episode, I'm sharing three practices I use to remind myself of what's eternal when the pain of now...

I’ve been thinking a lot about God’s presence in our pain lately. It’s a phrase I use a lot, it’s my go-to prayer when people are suffering - God, be so present in their pain, be so close to them in this season. Comfort them with your presence. Be near. But the interesting thing is that not everyone wants the same type of presence in their grief and I think that impacts how people perceive that prayer. What kind of presence am I asking for? What kind of presence can we expect from God? And...

In seasons of loss, it's easy to feel abandoned by God, or worse yet, betrayed by Him in our pain. I found myself feeling that way after we lost our second baby last year. In honor of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, I'm telling the story of our miscarriage just a few months after Imogen died and sharing how I processed my pain.

What if preparing for the storm isn't actually about focusing on it at all? What if it isn't about training harder, gearing up stronger, pivoting faster, or exploding bigger? What if it's about rooting ourselves not only in what we need to survive, but what we need to flourish, grow, and thrive? I'm realizing that surviving the storm is a byproduct of operating in the calling and purpose for which you were created. The very things that cause you to flourish under the best of circumstances...

Here's the things about storms in our lives - the question was never, "will they come?" The question has always been, "will we be prepared when they do?" There are things we can do right now to build our foundation and secure our faith so that we can ride out the storms we face. I can't promise they won't do damage. In fact, chances are we'll get a little beaten up along the way. But I am absolutely confident that when our foundation is on Jesus, it will hold. Every single time. The time to...

We're back with our second Q&A episode answering all the questions you submitted - and this week we're talking about grief. After Imogen died, Peter and I quickly realized that we responded to our grief differently. He needed to stay occupied and I was triggered by almost everything outside our home. We're sharing how we learned to support each other, when we knew it was time for counseling, and how we agreed to always turn in. Grief isn't linear and we've by no means made it through to...

Today we're answering all your questions about Imogen's birth, what happened next, how she died, & the time we spent with her. This episode is first & foremost a birth story. It's the story of us meeting our daughter for the very first time & the 24 hours we got to spend with her here. But it's also the story of her death. In stillbirth, birth & death are inextricably linked. We're so glad we get to share her with you on the podcast and so thankful to God for the gift of her...

We talk a lot about giving ourselves space and permission to grieve - permission to feel sad & angry & weary & tired. We need permission for that. But we don't talk as frequently about giving ourselves permission to laugh. To feel joy. To sing at the top of our lungs or forget for a moment what life looked like "before." So today, I'm sharing 3 practices I'm using to welcome joy into my life & embrace it when it comes. Get a copy of my "permission slip" online or check out my...

In these days of COVID-19 risk and social distancing, we've become accustomed to "contactless delivery." We value exchanges that we can "leave at the door" without connection, contact, or contamination. But while that system might be a good option for our meals and groceries and mail, it’s a poor substitute for how we relate to God. Are you trying to receive the promises of God without the presence of God? His promises are fulfilled in his presence and in His presence, we find fullness of joy.

It feels powerfully defiant to look suffering in the face, to stare it down, and say, “You can’t have my voice. You can’t have my praise, my affection, my song. No matter how shaky my voice gets, it won’t ever change its tune." Worship isn't always the easy choice when we're facing suffering, grief, and pain but it is a powerful weapon in this battle we're fighting - and we're never fighting alone!

What if surrender wasn't so much opening our hands, but laying down our lives? That's the picture God's been revealing lately. Surrender isn't about picking and choosing what we offer Him when we're ready to let go, but about giving Him all we are before He asks, before He needs it, before He's ready to use it.

Denying our pain doesn't make it go away. Putting on a brave face doesn't make everything ok. And hiding it doesn't mean we're healed. It just means it's hidden. When we stuff our pain underground, it can travel for months and miles unnoticed, unchecked, & unseen - and it's doing damage the whole way. But when we name and acknowledge our pain, when we don’t shame ourselves for our suffering or sorrow, there we encounter Jesus. Who knows what it feels like to ache on full display.

We're celebrating our Imogen's first birthday and talking about the three reasons we chose to celebrate this year! And a few things I've learned: While her life was cut short, her purpose wasn't. Though she never made a sound, her life is echoing all around the world. And even though she never took a breath, God is breathing a fresh expression of hope through her life and story. If this season feels barren right now, you might just be birthing an incredible expression that no one else can...

It's Imogen's birthday week! We're celebrating with Q & A's, guest interviews, and giveaways on Instagram. In this bonus episode, I sat down with K.J. Ramsey, author of This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers, and talked about God's presence in our pain, how the church can care for people in suffering and sorrow, and how our silence is often better than our solutions. You can find K.J. at www.kjramsey.com or on IG @kjramseywrites. Follow me on IG (@kelly.streiff) for...

We didn't choose this story. I can think of a dozen different ways I would have scripted our story that could have honored God, could have brought Him glory, could have strengthened our faith, and could have kept Imogen here. But that isn't the story He's writing. We might not have chosen to live it, but we do get to choose how we do. And today, almost one year after Imogen was born, we're committed to living it well. You can be too.

When we've tried everything - kicking, screaming, resisting, begging, pleading - and the pain still doesn't go away, we're tempted to believe that God is inactive, distant, and aloof. But what if God is more present than ever, waiting out our pain with us, and delivering us through the very trial we're in.

There are some moments in life that feel so final that hope is hard to find. It's from this dark place that Jeremiah declared words that bring us so much comfort today. His words of hope aren't flippant declarations, they're gritty, battle-worn, bruised words that he reaches into the depths of his soul to declare. And they remind us that even here, we too can have hope, no matter how far gone our circumstance seems. I end this episode with a big ask - please send your notes to...