Three questions: 1)     What constitutes modern art? A sieve without a handle, a misshapen squash? Esthers patience with the Turner Prize has reached its limit. 2)     What’s the difference between a banana and a phone? ...what's a banana? 3)     What’s the first rule of customer relations? The customer is always a tw@t. Plus, the positives of Oxbridge sliding down the university league tables. And saving the best till last, look out for Giles and Esther’s absolutely fabulous Jane Horrocks impressions. ** Contains strong language from the start Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.