As the Archbishop of Canterbury resigns Giles asks the key question - does anyone care? Following Donald Trump’s election victory there is a rumour doing the rounds that some rich celebrities plan to leave the US for Britain. Do we want them, does anywhere want them? Might they be in for a surprise with the reality of modern London not quite matching the dream… How does one deal with a moth infestation? Top tip: cedar wood, moth balls or sue the house seller for 30million pounds! Finally,...

What do Kamala Harris and QPR have in common? Giles and Esther react to the breaking news that Donald Trump is back as the American President. They ponder the reasons and how to break the news to a despondent teenager. Any mood can be lifted by a good cheese trolly, some people can even build a career off the back of a cheese trolly. Can being married also keep one chipper? Depends on who you’re married to! Finally, if you own an air fryer it might be spying on you – it’s your own fault. And...

Is Kemi Badenoch rude, or just straight talking? Esther has changed her ways and now plays a very polite tactical game; Giles on the other hand takes too much pleasure in expressing his true feelings in glorious technicolour. Who cares if its rude. It’s all change at British Airways as they switch from lunch to brunch on many flights; Esther isn’t sure what all the fuss is about… How do you get a nickname and what does it say about you if you don’t have one? Pee-the-pants and Pester...

Tomorrow is the big day! Budget Day looms, and we're bringing you a special feature from The Times' brand new show: Feel Better About Money. In her inaugural money chat, Holly Mead is talking about budgeting and the budget. She looks at the many different aspects of money to help you make better financial decisions about pensions, mortgages, investments. With so many suggestions, rumours and supposed leaks about the upcoming budget, what should we be preparing for now and how?  Find the new...

Are Sir Keir Starmer and Angela Raynor following in the footsteps of The Coren's builders – telling you how bad the previous tradesmen were? Who is in charge around here? Giles has a boomer bee in his bonnet and wonders if they’re just struggling to accept their waning influence in society. He takes to the comments to do battle; but he certainly doesn’t call them c…. ! Ozempic may be a miracle drug for those overweight, but it is a killer for restaurants. Fear not Esther can save the...

All change this week as The Corens are having work done – brick work not cosmetic work. As a result, they have decamped to someone else’s house…it prompts discussion about interior decor and the ‘Sandbanks House Wars’ where multi-millionaires are competing to build the grandest home. It turns out Christopher Columbus was Jewish; unfortunately, now he has been branded imperialist and racist its 500 years too late for Giles. Is there anyone else that is going to be dumped on the Jewish...

There are only three weeks left to audition for the new HBO Harry Potter series, sadly for Giles his best wizarding days are behind him, but he has high hopes for his son. In fact, at fifty-five are most of his best days behind him? Who knows, he’s too old to care. But he does know what goes best with a square of dark chocolate… “There is no such thing as ‘man flu’” says Giles, but then he goes on to say lots of other things which Esther has more of a problem with. Finally, a great new...

This week officious staff at the national gallery leave a bad impression. Daniel Craig seems to be sporting the latest in parachute wear; the former Bond stars look reminds Giles of an ill-fated inventor in Paris over a hundred years ago. After the break it’s sober-October and what’s in a name? When it comes to Prostate cancer quite a lot it would appear. Giles tries to re brand the most common male cancer. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Three questions: 1)     What constitutes modern art? A sieve without a handle, a misshapen squash? Esthers patience with the Turner Prize has reached its limit. 2)     What’s the difference between a banana and a phone? ...what's a banana? 3)     What’s the first rule of customer relations? The customer is always a tw@t. Plus, the positives of Oxbridge sliding down the university league tables. And saving the best till last, look out for Giles and Esther’s absolutely fabulous Jane Horrocks...

What is a freebie, how do you get them and do you have to pay tax? A tale of two particular freebies this week, interspersed with a collection of Giles and Esthers own freebies from the past. While Lady Starmer has fallen foul of some members of the press for her new dresses, Eamonn Holmes has been scoffed at for taking his lady friend on a cruise. Esther and Giles have sympathy, freebies aren’t all they’re cracked up to be and anyway they’re part of the business, aren’t they…  Hosted on...

Giles and Esther are thrilled to be back from their long summer break, well Esther is. And there is so much to talk about; Keir Starmer has taken a truth serum, but is that what people want? Donald Trump went face to face with Kamala Harris in an animalistic US presidential debate. The weight loss drug Ozempic is now being offered to children and Greggs have launched a range of footwear. The world is still mad. But fear not, take joy in the simple things, just like Giles and Kitty on the way...

Giles and Esther send a quick note from their holidays. They'll be back and raring to go next week. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A new dawn has broken, has it not… well something like that. Giles and Esther channel their inner Nostradamus to predict last night’s results. If, as assumed Sir Keir becomes PM, what does it mean for his family? Giles considers penning an ode to Kentish Town and all that the Starmers will leave behind. As Sir Keir awaits his big result, Giles is waiting for his own important phone call, but its from the NHS so who knows when it will come, today, tomorrow…never.   Rumours abound of very...

Giles is feeling bright and breezy, and it’s all thanks to Ether. For once he took her advice and tried the latest ‘wonder drug’ Naltrexone. What would have otherwise been a night of drunken excess instead turned into a night of charitable excess. He is a convert. Sadly, neither he nor Esther have made any money out of their pharmaceutical evangelism.  Keir Starmer has exposed the latest ‘get out of jail free card’ for those in public life: ”I’m changing it from the inside.” Seeing it for the...

In response to a survey suggesting people are turning away from the news Giles and Esther pander to the masses and happily look past the obvious headlines. Who or what constitutes a working man? As the blue and red parties scabble to attract anyone who earns a living Giles is temporarily bewitched by the endless tax breaks on offer from the Reform party. His conscience kicks in but with his new found knowledge of the candidates he does a ‘who said what’ quiz for Esther. Little House on the...

Esther is front page news after writing about a drug which helps with alcoholism…unusually she hasn’t just written about naltrexone, she’s tried it. It leads to a discussion about the results of alcohol abuse within different economic groups. As ever the Germans are ahead of the game, they’ve decided to only sell England football fans low alcohol beer. Rishi Sunak has once again shown his gift for the uncommon touch; Giles thinks he shouldn’t be let lose without a minder. What is the point...

Stephen Fry has upset the ruddy faced members of the MCC; it has left Giles awkwardly fiddling with his box as he balances his desire to join the MCC with his admiration for Mr Fry. No such trouble with Keir Starmer and Rishi Sunak who come in for equal disdain. Was it a debate or a barrister and a banker meeting at the school gates? Or a special episode of Numberwang…? The debate slid to one side Esther and Giles consider a throbbing question; What are the most annoying ‘corporate speak’...

Giles and Esther are away this week. In their absence here is a short collection of recent highlights. Giles faces a late fitness test. Esther takes the AA road quiz. And why won't flying taxis go south of the river...? Hope you enjoy them. Please do like and share and we’ll see you next week. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

** This episode was recorded just before Prime Minister Rishi Sunak called the election; please sit back and bask in an election free zone. Has Kevin Costner got better with age? Esther thinks so. She also ranks his film ‘Robin Hood Prince of Thieves’ as the best of all time, unlike his current project – Horizon: chapter one. In a spooky premonition Giles stars in his own vanity project; a gripping drama about a snap election, an assassination and an ageing dad being called up to save the...

Artist Jonathan Yeo has painted luminaries such as Tony Blair, David Cameron and most recently the King. He has also painted Giles (twice) and Esther’s sister. As old friends of Jonathan, Giles and Esther are well placed to guide the philistines of Instagram through his artistic talents. Chancellor Jeremy Hunt is seeking to reassure the nation that all is well in the UK. Unfortunately, his lacklustre writing style is the least of his problems; he has an 800 year old tax rebate and a batty...

The Garrick Club is finally opening its doors to women, well some women. Whilst not a member, as a regular frequenter of the Garrick Giles lets daylight in upon magic and reveals the earth-shattering secrets of the gentleman’s club. Esther wonders why on earth anyone would bother.  A grassroots Muslim campaign group emboldens Giles and Esther to offer their own list of demands to potential PM Keir Starmer.  Brexit makes an unwelcome return as the fall guy for a bad opening night. Esther has...

The pressing question this week is: If a T-Rex played Taylor Swift at chess who would win? An octopus has offered to referee, but only if it is paid in food stamps. ‘An expert’ has suggested that the T’Rex may have been a little dim…so Giles wonders what or who constitutes dim in the 21st century...? Could the demise of Humza Yousaf be down to the Scottish Nationalists losing the culture wars…when asked for their opinion the great Scottish public replied “Get te f**k!” It turns out that it is...

Could the culture wars finally be drawing to a close? If they are what will Giles talk about in future; certainly not ancient antiquities, his knowledge is lacking in that sphere. How to spice up one’s autobiography, some celeb gossip here, a royal orgy there…let’s ask Rebel Wilson she is bound to have a few more ideas. Age is but a number, which may just be seventeen thousand. That’s what John Cleese is paying for stem cell therapy. But why worry, what of the crows of the air, they do not...

Warning flag: this episode contains sensitive content. Fresh from the Easter recess Giles and Esther have a cunning plan to lure in new listeners, they’re flying the flag for air fryers. Keen to be welcoming of all cooking methods they undertake some thorough research which includes never using, trying or knowing anything about air fryers, before coming to a categoric conclusion on the latest kitchen gadget… They take a look at the most expensive streets to live in the UK - none of which...