Brainwashing Your Kids Into Being Best Friends? Growing up my brother, sister & I had some knock-down drag-out gnarly flights… so now that I have two little ones I am verrrrry interested in how to mitigate that ahead of time.  It seems sibling rivalry is not only normalized but it’s perceived as inevitable and beyond evolutionary control.  Most advice out there isn’t really even on how to navigate it while they’re children but primarily hoping “when you get older you’ll grow out of it and...

Preschool Moms...I have done a few episodes on this topic as it’s my current phase of life having a 3yr old and a 5yr old! Previously in this series I've talked with friends about how to connect with other parents which can be tricky with kids crawling all over us and interrupting every few sentences. Plus even meeting people can be hard as the quick hallway passing makes it hard focus. Yet, we typically are all on the birthday circuit seeing one another at 8 different fall birthday parties....

We’ve all been there…  Someone comes up and says “Oh my gosh, I love your pants, they’re so cute!” Then we all the sudden feel awkward.  Sometimes we’ll say something like “Ah! Thanks yes I got them on sale only $10!” Or maybe along the lines of “These pants? Thanks just trying to distract from how I haven’t had a pedicure in 3 months.” Or we say anything except a plain “Thank you.”  I realized this a few months back when in a group setting and this topic came up - we went around the room...

Bringing back a crowd favorite to the pod… my mom @lisawhelchel! She & I debated back and forth about what topic should we cover together and when we couldn’t land on one we chose to let the fates decide! I threw up a question box on my Instagram Q&A and you guys delivered with some fascinating prompts Ya lobbed a few easy ones like ”who was your first celebrity crush?” and “what quality do you admire most in another individual” Sprinkling in some medium-spicy - “If you had a...

It’s your favorite…. An Aaron! Takeover What does it mean to “live the dream”? Most people might say… 💰 Financial security  💼 Career Fulfillment ⛳️ Freedom 🏥 Health 🏆 Personal Accomplishments ☮️ Contentment Dreams create hope And hope leads us to the future I think being able to dream together is one of the most important things we can do But not just dreaming… we need to act on them Together we discuss as a couple… How do you build shared dreams?  How do they evolve over time?  Have...

Social Media + Kids = ??? We are the first generation to really have to wrestle with this as we were the ones in jr. high / high school when social media even came about to give us access to each other 24/7. We were so naive throwing Facebook albums with 80 pictures from one night out and didn't really think about any lasting impacts as at the time it felt like it was just to your own inner circle. Since then it’s grown into this ginormous beast and we now know the internet is forever... So,...

Affair-proofing your marriage... hefty topic. I don't think people go into their marriage thinking "one day I'm going to screw this all up, break any ounce of trust we built, and shatter my spouse's heart" - and yet, it happens. Aaron & I have seen it enough times to develop a very healthy fear of it. We've adapted the mindset of "it can happen to anyone, even us" and have adapted our behaviors accordingly. Some highlights we talk about in this episode: It's not just defense, it's...

Communication can be tough - especially when you have to deliver some difficult feedback. Kim Scott is a well-known figure in the business world, particularly for her work on management and leadership. Her background includes roles at major tech companies like Google and Apple, where she was involved in building and managing teams.  She wrote the book "Radical Candor: How to be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity" which breaks down what it looks like to both care personally and...

Becoming a mom can rock your world - all the sudden you're thrust into this entirely new chapter of your life where it's all consuming, entirely life-altering, and wholly identity changing to say the least. Somehow time moves so slowly (on a loop of feed, diaper, sleep, repeat) and yet quickly at the same time (they're already sitting up??) For me, I felt strangely united with every single woman who came before me who had entered this journey, but also weirdly isolated because it was entirely...

Could you imagine being 12 years old at your first week of dance practice after being cast for the New Mickey Mouse Club - feeling so thrilled to be there, a little nervous but filled with anticipation - and the first thing the choreographer says as they comes over to you in your leotard is to pat your belly and say "Got a little gut on there don't you, girly? Gonna have to get rid of that..." Yeah. That happened to my mom. How would you not begin to have some body image issues after that?...

Pet peeves... we all have them. Those little annoyances that come up in our day typically triggered by someone else's behavior. Usually we feel a bit righteous about them like our way is the right way and they should "do better." But, what about those ones that aren't really right or wrong - they are just absolutely your own personal preference and if anything the face that you're bothered by it makes you downright PETTY. No? Just me? I bring in my friend Eric Roy for this topic and when we...

What does healthy masculinity look like in 2024? I feel the need to add the current year in that title as a caveat because cultural depictions of masculinity change with each generation (ex: long haired hippies were seen as effeminate while previously that was the typical look for majority of cultures of men.) But, what are the evergreen attributes of being a man - then on top of that, what is a healthy expression of them? So far in my lifetime, it seems the pendulum has swung from toxic...

I think sometimes with the media we are set up to think we will have the one "end all / be all / bff" friend that will fulfill all our bestie needs. But that's just a lot of pressure and expectation to put on someone. I like to see my relationships like a color palette - I want allllll the colors. The yellows which are the girls I just go to the nail salon with and talk about the Bachelor. Passionate reds who are chasing their career dreams and can gas me up and inspire me to go for my...

“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.” That reference is of course a line written by William Shakespeare from the play Romeo and Juliet to convey that the naming of things is irrelevant. But, I want to explore that.  My friend has a theory that asking someone “how did you get your name?” is an noninvasive way to hear about their origin story and a way to learn a lot about them. It taps into past generations of humans with how we are given...

It's been one full year since I've launched this pod! I still get the question of "what made you want to start a podcast in the first place?" so I thought it would be fun to take it back to my "why" and also go into the greater concept of origin stories. Did you know that research says that who you are before the age of 5 is likely your "truest self"? Unless you had something very traumatic impact you within that time frame, you were typically the most authentic, raw, and real version of your...

What comes to mind when you think of mentorship? Oftentimes we picture the one-on-one type scenario like in Star Wars where Qui-Gon Jinn mentored Obi-Wan Kenobi who then later on matured and took Luke Skywalker under his wing.Yet, that can sometimes feel like a lot of pressure - to wait to be chosen by someone who sees something in you. Or, on the inverse side, it can be really difficult to select someone you want to invest your time & intention into that will truly benefit from your...

"Oh, are you feeling frustrated?" "That sounds really frustrating..." There are so many other words to express emotions other than "frustrated" but why was that the only one that what was coming to mind when I was trying to teach my toddler what was happening in their body? Disappointed, jealous, embarrassed, angry, ashamed - those are way more on the mark and elicit an entirely different and appropriate response. I realized that I may be emotionally illiterate - not only to identify...

The "gentle parenting" movement is all the rage right now. At its core, gentle parenting is all about the relationship. It's talking about treating your child as a dignified human worth respect and choice all meanwhile teaching them emotional literacy and tools for how to handle the big feelings in their little bodies. Many of us millennials entering into child rearing eras and are determined to do things differently than how we were raised during a more authoritarian time. So, of course,...

Anyone who’s been in a relationship for a while knows that sometimes you need to have a quick assessment with your partner of “How are we? Are we okay? Are you happy? Is there any way we can be doing things better?” Just like routine car maintenance - it’s important to pull off the highway from time to time and really check things out, ideally before a check engine light comes on. In this episode I bring in my husband of 11 years and we go through some tools from our relational tool kit...

"Come on, man, read the room..." We've all heard some variation of that phrase at some point in time. It typically means someone assessed a situation incorrectly before behaving and then the disconnect was palpably felt by the others in the group. But, I have noticed that, when asked, most people they would say they DO have the ability to read a room correctly. My question is - is that really true? Can people accurately interpret the energy, behaviors, undertones, and body language in a...

IT’S A TAKE-OVER!! My husband Aaron is my #1 requested return guest so we took it a step further and let him entirely take over this episode. I had no clue what direction he wanted to go in… I just showed up on the couch and was along for the ride.  Ultimately he wanted to explore the topics of labels together - some labels we are proud of, they make us feel giddy or older or special. While other labels can stick to us in a way that we don’t want to be known for or identified...

Have you noticed that once you’re aware of something you somehow see it everywhere? 🚙 Considering buying a particular car - you then see it driving all over town 💍 Maybe you're about to get engaged - hello all the sudden noticing everyone’s rings 🪒 Perhaps you were in 4th grade and someone commented on your leg hair and then you realize everyone else in your grade shaves and you had no idea this whole time… no? That one just me? My friend Ava and I talk more about whether this concept...

The second installment of “What’s it like to be a teenager rn” is out! My neighbor, 14 year old Pearl, came back on to talk more about her current experiences navigating the world as a teenager. We talk dating, the shift from childhood to teen, plus some more serious topics of mental health together. Tune in to catch a glimpse of what it feels like to be 14 in 2024. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haven-the-podcast/support

Many of us know what it feels like to be a teenager - the ups & downs, wild hormones, and ever-changing friend dynamics. But, I think this current generations of teenagers has entirely new circumstances to face on top of it all... Social media pressures 24/7 access to phones Internet trolls & anonymous bullying Any content they want at the touch of their fingertips So, I wanted to bring in my friend Pearl, a 14 year old who lives nearby here in LA to tell us a bit more about her...