A What A Trice? A Cockatrice! There, I said it. Yes, spoiler alert, they fight a Cockatrice. Now say that 3 times fast. And then tell me how you pronounce “COCKATRICE” at the end of the episode. On Spotify, at the end of the episode, you can answer the question. It’s kind of like helping rate the show, it’s an algorithm thing.  OH! And the rest of the episode we get to find out more about Cookie and the friends she ate along the way. #snacrafice #cockatrice #phonetics #eatyourfrineds...

Good vs Evil vs Chaotic Neutral  EP26 S2 New NPC Gobbletta, Like a Cup, a Half elf Fighter is found to be a Paladin. A Paladin that has now gotten involved with a very Heavy Evil group. Will her morals be fouled by the lust for an oversized goblin, or be manipulated by a carnivorous /Horse/? Only Time will tell…… ON WARD THROUGH DOOR 5! #snacrafice #paladin #goblingroupie #dungeoncrawl #IFYKYK #crystalship #magicsword  When you’re finished with this episode, we recommend the following...

Didn't We Already Do This Door? EP25 S2 With Kreath and Ram Man back with the group, our NPCs are teleported back to the Dungeon ride of Arraiolos. All that's left of the vacation adventure is door 5 and 8. What will these Spell Components find and which door will they choose? Only one way to find out. So let's get started by standing in line for the one ride everyone wants on! #hogansings #magickingdom #timekeepsslipping #door5 #alreadydidthat When you’re finished with this episode, we...

Leck Mich Im Arsch Getting closer to solving the curse of the Blooder Knife, our NPCs battle it out one note at a time. They have several more puzzles to solve. Will they hit the right notes? Will they Score a win? Will they conduct themselves in a timely manner? Will we save the best puns for the episode? Tune in and find out! #leck #mein #horse #musicalpuzzles #decomposition #decomposer #Bridgetoofar #crescendo  When you’re finished with this episode, we recommend the following...

Leck Mein Horse Solving puzzles has not been one of the NPCs' talents, but that hasn't stopped them yet, even when being escorted by DEATH. Lets see how well Hogan, Cookie and Grey Matter do in this section of the pant leg as they continue through the Trousers of Time #leck #mein #horse #musicalpuzzles #circleoffifths #perfectpitch #notahighschoolmusical #waterpuzzle #splunk #timey When you’re finished with this episode, we recommend the following podcasts: You Wanna Do What!?!? An actual...

Trousers of Time On the path to fix the Blooder Knife the NPCs must travel down the Trousers of Time. With the few clues they have gathered, what is in store for our Non-Player Characters? The meet Kubota, a Demon of time that conducts the quartet on there way. #TrousersofTime #pickapantleg #lookup #twochoices #sopickthethird #spellingbeas # When you’re finished with this episode, we recommend the following podcasts: Dungeon Calling A real-play D&D podcast of high fantasy and low humor....

Employees and Employers Dog Eat Dog World It time to enjoy some wonderful songs performed by our very own NPC’s DJ Ceritin hosts Karaoke Knight at BMO’s Bowling Bonanza! Cookie will be performing “I want to be a horse” . It's a 10191 hit from Caladan. By House A Hogan will be covering the 1988 classic “Drews House” from Walkin Cooler Grey attempts to sing about their elixirs, with a bonus song (due to complications is only available on Patreon) Kreath sings a song that should have...

Employees and Employers pt2 We here, at the Arraiolos R&D facility (a subsidiary of N.A.I.L.), are testing out a new attraction for the Octo Planos. Employees and Employers is what we call Forum of Loathsome Adults Cooperation Conclave Involving Dramaturgy. Today the NPCs are playing PCs in a Human world called M’rica, and they are partaking in mandatory volunteer time for karaoke to play the game of Dog Eat Dog #volentold #karaoke #buisnessmanipulation #songsyouliketosing #negotiation...

Employees and Employers pt1 We here, at the Arraiolos R&D facility (a subsidiary of N.A.I.L.), are testing out a new attraction for the Octo Planos. Employees and Employers is what we call Forum of Loathsome Adults Cooperation Conclave Involving Dramaturgy. Today the NPCs were randomly selected to take part in a rare opportunity to be subjects in a playtest of the upcoming attraction in lew of going through door #5. Let's see  how this goes. Bonus episode, yay! #randomlyselected  #newride...

Fortune Cancer While waiting in line, after being transported from their side quest, the NPCs try to figure out what exactly has Grey Matter contracted. What is the purple curse that now haunts the artifice? What exactly is going on? #cursed #curses  #magic8ball #asktheconch #goblincake #realplaydnd #way #thecurse  When you’re finished with this episode, we recommend the following podcasts: Wisdom of One A comedy/roleplaying adventure featuring three brothers doing their very best to foil...

The Questle SIDEQUEST! Part 3.0:  Questel noun.  Having to Hustle during a sidequest. When your NPCs go on a drug binge marathon to cross 100 miles just to attempt to finish a side quest that foreshadows DOOM! oh, the NPCs reach the location of the shard and Grey gets the Big C. # Hieroglyphs #plotpoints #ziggurats #beyonddead #EthanIV #thefourth #smalldungeon #badtiming #teleport #nothingingwithportals When you’re finished with this episode, we recommend the following...

My So Called Hogan SIDEQUEST! Part 2.0: Its still 100 miles to the shard. The party gets split up and tries to make it the rest of the way. Grey Matter and Hogan trudge on towards the goal, but have been pushing for more than 20 hours. In order to stay awake Grey gives Hogan an “Energy Potion” with a tad of truth serum, and the verbal diarrhea kicks in. #howimmature #pizzagate #Diceheads #whodoyouworkfor #exposition #fourshodowing #roadtrip #icanpickthepizza   When you’re finished...

Door Dashing SIDEQUEST! Part 2: with Maven in tow the NPCs head to see Elena and try to figure out the prophecy of the Green omen! With the new information they take a leap of faith that the pizza will be delivered and continue on their quest! When you’re finished with this episode, we recommend the following podcasts: Dungeon Calling A real-play D&D podcast of high fantasy and low humor. It’s the 1980s, and four almost friends navigate middle school in a small, strange, low-budget...

Weeping Widows SIDEQUEST! Hogan has a package waiting for him in the Freehold somewhere called the Weeping Widows. Isn’t that a fungus? Anyway, they unexpectedly acquire a guide by the name of Lake.  Will our NPCs eat Lake or accept his help? Find out as the party(is that correct? They are NPCs afterall) goes off the dungeon crawling path in search of Hogan's package! When you’re finished with this episode, we recommend the following podcasts: Wanderful: A Somewhat DnD Podcast Wanderful is...

Good Vibrations The Blooder Knife is just buzzing away due to the amount of treasure behind Door 6. Deals are coming together and progress is being…..progressed? Knownst to our NPCs they are being pursued by the Warrior that gave them the heebie jeebies and could be around any corner. Find out how Kreath, Hogan, Cookie, Grey, and Ram’n get through the rest of Door 6 in this episode of the NECROMANTIC EMPIRE! When you’re finished with this episode, we recommend the following podcasts: ...

Door 6: What's with all the rabbits? The NPCs are in need of money, and all arrows point to Door 6! Tenet 6 is Money decides the value of all things! Are the Doors and Tenets connected? Let's find out! So onward to opportunity and wealth. Fame can give it a miss.  #jackalpoe #moneygame #dungeoncrawl #treasure #prophecy #deaddog #cranegame #stopfallinginto traps When you’re finished with this episode, we recommend the following podcasts: Roll for Stupid Get ready to embark on an epic...

UNINTENTIONAL CIRCUMCISION In this episode of explosive activity the NPCs make a bee line for the bathroom but do they make it in time? After a short meeting with Fang the NPCs paint the dungeon with all they have. Door3 sinks to new lows as the story backs up and overflows with storyline diversions and actual plot development. Grey Matter balances the Humors and brings peace….. No, Chaos to the party. Oh, and there is a devastating accident that happens, too.  So relax and let the pizza...

In this episode of exposition the NPCs attempt to make a plan and are subjected to the Arraiolos bombardment of advertisements while waiting in line for the next door. Will they survive the product placement? Will Hogan get to eat his favorite doughnut? None of this will be answered in this episode, but the clues are there. #diceheads #capturedaudience #thestory #invisibilitycloak #moreclues #undeadservents #22000ml #gas #door3 #thefutureiswideopen #vore #voreat4 #voicesoftheroyal We hope...

After Drunken Rabbits, a Vampire bat, and a need to visit the bathroom, our NPCs find themselves wandering in circles trying to get to the treasure in a low level dungeon. This is an endurance test  that will bring the party to their knees. Let's give a howl in salute to the NPCs our NPCs meet in this episode, AAAROOOO! #mazerunning #maze #leftturninalbuquerque #whenwillitend #dontgivegrapestodogs #lech #RamManisamethodactor #losealife #level1dungeon   We hope you have enjoyed this episode of...

Beware the Centzon Tōtōchtin! For they will fill you with the gift of the Agave! Listen as Kreath rushes into the sweltering dungeon and the group faces off with an ancient, or maybe futuristic group of monsters. We’re not sure ourselves, Nigel has yet to set the timeline. But facts be damned and they set off to finish Door 1 as quickly as possible.  It's a low level dungeon, there's not much here for them…..or is there? #400rabbits #vampirebat #macuahuitl #fireball #magicmissle #worstepisode...

Maimstop has it all and Hogan and Cookie are going shopping, in more ways than one. So let's place that order, sell off some excess gear, and get ready for the next door/ Dungeon. #maimstop #DnDgear #ballofdodge #dodgeball #squeaktoyofstealth #ifyoucandodgeawrench  #igor #iygor #takedowntheempire We hope you have enjoyed this episode of the Necromantic Empire ™.  Our cast is: Alex Fort as Nigel Gambaatar Ben Blue Jackson as Leroy Jenkins  Jeremiah Freeman as Kreath Rapunzel the lettuce...

The plot thickens with the groups making plans to free the indentured servants. See what happens when GOR starts them down the path that ROCK! The SCRY™ becomes the second most important tool in their arsenal. #scry™ #thicc #thiccplot #igor #Iy #indenturedservitude #needlebomb #MAIMSTOP #TOTHEMOON #invisibilitycloak #spidersilk #spiders We hope you have enjoyed this episode of the Necromantic Empire ™.  Our cast is: Alex Fort as Nigel Gambaatar Ben Blue Jackson as Leroy...

Kreath wants to play canasta, but this group is a few cards short of a deck, much less in the possession of two decks. Will they defeat the Vila? Will Ram’n/Ram Man not get spooked by anything in the dungeon?  Find out here, and don’t forget to check out our gift shop at the end of the ride™.  #slavicmonsters #restroomattendant #horseonhorse #monoehoof #pantry #isthistheend? #dungeoncrawl #vivalarevolution  #couldn’tresist #letsbehorses #furrynpcs  We hope you have enjoyed this episode of...

Traps by GRIMM lay in wait for our NPCs. Be Careful where you step, and take a seat as the group wonders though the dark halls of DOOR #2. Will they get booted by a one way door, fall to their death though a trap in the floor, or will they be chased by a large boulder while an excessive amount of dust flies off their garb? Oh, wait, that was being chased by natives…..So sit back on your throne and let this episode help you escape from your life as a PC, at least for a moment. #GRIMM #npcs...

To infiltrate or to not infiltrate. That is the question. While pondering on how to take down the Arraiolos kingdom, the NPCs are forced to continue their vacation. On to Door number 2! We hope you have enjoyed this episode of the Necromantic Empire ™.  Our cast is: Alex Fort as Nigel Gambaatar Ben Blue Jackson as Leroy Jenkins  Jeremiah Freeman as Kreath Rapunzel the lettuce as Cookie Robin Fry as Ram man Sam Sturgeon as Hogan Savage Victoria Fish as Grey Matter Your District...