Dr. Adam Price’s book, He’s Not Lazy, is one that parents of teenage boys frequently recommend to each other. There’s good reason for that: He’s Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe in Himself addresses parents’ fears and concerns about their “unmotivated,” “under-performing” teenage sons. Stop Worrying About Your BoysFear is usually at the heart of parents’ concern about their sons’ apparent lack of motivation. We know how important persistence and effort are to success and happiness in...

BoyMom Ruth Whippman has spent significant time reimagining boyhood. As a mom of 3 boys, she knows that raising boys today is a complex endeavor. As she writes in her book, BOYMOM: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity, “Boys in America (and worldwide) are going through something of a crisis – not only academically but they make up the majority of perpetrators AND also the majority of victims and they are more likely than girls to engage in serious antisocial behavior,...

In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss:The end of an era (Jen’s last son finishes high school!)What Jen will NOT miss about having a kid a schoolHow parenting is like labor & birthTransactional vs. relational communicationLetting boys take control of aspects of their lifeRebuilding trustApologizing to your kidsLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Emails & Phone Calls from Teachers — ON BOYS episode Why Boy Moms Need Mentors Too — ON BOYS episode Sponsor...

If you think you don’t know anybody who takes opioids, have you asked? Those are the words of Julia Pinksy, an Oregon-based mom who lost her son to an opioid overdose. “It’s been 10 years since he passed,” she says,”which seems unbelievable.” In the years since, Julia has devoted herself to opioid overdose education and prevention. Today, she teaches others about opioids & Narcan. Opioid Addiction Can Affect AnyoneOpioids don’t discriminate. Although some people may be more biologically...

Boys don’t do as well in school as girls. On the whole, they earn lower grades and more disciplinary referrals. You will typically find more boys in detention than at the top of the class. Are boys the problem? Is there something about masculinity, something about male biology that contributes to these disparate outcomes? Or, are schools the problem? Does the curriculum and environment somehow inhibit boys’ success? Yes. Boys mature more slowly than their female peers, so they’re generally...

Sextortion disproportionately affects boys. Between October 2021 & March 2023, the FBI & Homeland Security Investigation received more than 13,000 reports of online sextortion of minors. Most of the victims were boys. At least 20 boys have already died by suicide after experiencing sextortion. The FBI is so concerned about these trends that they reached out to ON BOYS podcast. Agents are working to shutdown sextorionists, but they know that parents play a key role in keeping boys safe...

Protein, creatine, & performance enhancing drugs are common in boy world. In fact, most teen boys experiment with them at some point. Approximately 80% of teenage boys say they’ve used a protein supplement within the last 12 months, says Kyle Ganson, an assistant professor who researches boys and body image. “There’s a very broad list of performance enhancers, including dietary supplements and other substances that are perfectly legal and readily available to young people,” Kyle says....

Advocating for boys is one way to help boys and men thrive. At present, there are no governmental commissions working on behalf of boys and men in the United States. Not at the federal level & not at the state level. Even though boys lag behind girls in academic achievement and boys & men experience suicide, murder, drug & alcohol addiction, homelessness, incarceration, & early death at disproportionately high rates. And even though there are multiple commissions dedicated to...

Gifted & twice-exceptional boys often struggle in school, despite their intelligence & talents. In fact, boys who are gifted or twice-exceptional (which means they are gifted & have a learning disability) are considered “problem kids.” Teachers (and other adults) may make boredom as lack of focus, or assume that poor grades indicate lack of intelligence. For many 2E boys, their learning disabilities overshadow their giftedness; for others, their giftedness hides their learning...

Like it or not, fentanyl, other opioids, and marijuana are part of our boys’ world. “It is very easy to get drugs on social media,” says Michelle Leopold, a mother who’s son, Trevor, died after taking a pill he purchase online. Ignoring these uncomfortable fact isn’t helpful. We have to educate ourselves and educate our boys. Here’s why: Marijuana harms young brainsToday’s marijuana and marijuana-based products are far stronger than those of the past. “It’s so important to learn...

50/50 shared parenting is good for boys & good for parents.  But it’s not yet the norm, despite decades of research demonstrating the value of shared parenting. “It’s one part sexism and one part misunderstanding of the latest social science around what it best for kids,” says Emma Johnson, author of The 50/50 Solution: The Surprising Simple Choice that Makes Moms, Dads, and Kids Happier & Healthier After a Divorce. “”Thankfully, we are barreling toward a better future. No one’s...

Building boys’ resilience can help them thrive, says Marc Hauser.  Even if they’ve experienced a lot of adversity. “Adversity experienced by children is not a rare event, but a relatively common event,” says Marc, author of Vulnerable Minds: The Harms of Childhood Trauma & the Hope of Resilience. Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) may include abuse, violence, neglect, poverty, and loss of a caregiver, and these experiences can negatively affect kids’ development. But although research...

Yes, it’s possible to raise a healthy gamer. Even in a world saturated with video games. Fighting about video games, however, isn’t helpful, says Alok Kanojia (aka Dr. K), author of How to Raise a Healthy Gamer: End Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits, and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids. “Right now, there is an antagonistic relationship between most parents & their kids around video gaming,” Dr. K says. “You think they need to cut back; they don’t think they have a...

How, exactly, does one “get curious” about their son without badgering him? That’s a big, important question, and that’s exactly what Jennifer wants to know: Lately, as he is resisting my normal questioning…I feel like I am now pushing him to evaluate his feelings, talk to me, or just engage…I have seen this cute, fun challenge of showing a person two pieces of paper. Each one has something different written in it. The recipient who is choosing the paper has no idea what is on the other side....

“Debt Free Mom” (aka Carly Hill) knows that family finances can be a fraught topic. Yet family finances affect every aspect of family life: A family’s stress level, as well as housing, education, and recreational choices. Family finances play into decisions such as rec sports or travel team? Private school or public school? And, of course, our attitude and money habits affects our children as well. Our boys learn a lot about money management — both good and bad! – from us. On Budgeting &...

Many Dads want to “step up with their hearts” and “actively parent,” says Maggie Dent, Australian parenting author and host of The Good Enough Dad and Parental As Anything podcasts.  “They want to know how to do it well,” she says, noting that most dads have little experience caring for (or interacting with!) children prior to becoming a parent. Moms, though, often unconsciously interfere with dads’ parenting efforts by criticizing fathers or insisting that dads follow their parenting...

Jaclyn Greenberg often feels like she’s living a divided life. When her daughter was born, there was music and laughter in the birthing room. When her disabled son was born, there was no music. No laughter. In fact, everyone swept out of the room soon after the baby’s birth, taking him with them. Jacyln hadn’t even had a chance to say hello. Raising a disabled son alongside two typically-developing children (her daughter and youngest son) presents unique challenges and opportunities. “I’ve...

Is middle school misunderstood — or magic? For most of us — and many of our kids — middle school is a pretty miserable time. But that’s largely because most educators and parents misunderstand middle schoolers & these critical years. “This is a very pervasive story, that middle school is terrible. But it doesn’t have to be. We make it terrible by working directly against the developmental needs of middle schoolers and designing these buildings and classes in way that make their lives...

Is middle school misunderstood — or magic? For most of us — and many of our kids — middle school is a pretty miserable time. But that’s largely because most educators and parents misunderstand middle schoolers & these critical years. “This is a very pervasive story, that middle school is terrible. But it doesn’t have to be. We make it terrible by working directly against the developmental needs of middle schoolers and designing these buildings and classes in way that make their lives...

Most schools today aren’t boy-friendly.  That’s one (big!) reason why boys lag behind girls academically. And why so many boys hate going to school.  Tyler, a 16-year-old Texas boy, started struggling in middle school. Recess was no more. Classes were 90 minutes long. So, “he found it really hard to sit still in class,” says Julie Jargon, the Wall Street Journal Family & Tech columnist who interviewed Tyler for her series on boys and education. Now a high school student, Tyler suggests...

Modern male puberty starts earlier than you think. It may start as early as age 9 in boys – which means that the mood swings you’re seeing in your 10-year-old son could well be puberty-related. After all, as Cara Natterson & Vanessa Kroll Bennett write in their book This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained, “The very first sign of puberty in most kids is a slamming door.”  Most parents of boys aren’t prepared for male puberty. (And may be in denial when the first signs start...

There’s a connection between adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) & muscle dysmorphia, which is a strong desire to bulk up your body. According to new research by Kyle Ganson, an assistant professor in Canada & a licensed clinical social worker who’s worked with teenagers & young adults, boys who experience abuse, neglect, incarceration or divorce of a parent, poverty, or parental mental illness or substance use, are more likely to develop muscle dysmorphia. That’s important...

How can boys experience school success?  Parents and educators frequently ask, “How do we help boys thrive in school?” A question we rarely ask is, What can boys do to set themselves up for school success? What can we do to help boys successfully navigate school? “It’s really essential that we, as parents & educators of boys, are preparing them to navigate the struggles within school,” says Dr. Todd (Jason) Feltman, author of Transforming into a Powerful Third, Fourth, or 5th Grade...

Color blindness affects a lot of boys. In fact, 1 in 12 males are color blind. They perceive color differently than most humans. Some see shades of tan instead of vivid reds and greens. Some see life in black, white, and grey. Many don’t realize that they see things differently than their peers, teachers, and parents. And many parents and teachers don’t realize that their boys are colorblind – which can lead to unnecessary learning complications and affect boys’ learning. Signs of Color...

Which ON BOYS episodes were the Best of 2023?  Photo by Photo by Engin Akyurt via Pexels Your favorites include: 5. Simplicity Parenting with Kim John Payne Simplicity parenting prioritizes a balanced schedule, predictable rhythm, and decluttered, information-filtered family environment…The antidote to constant overwhelm is simple, Payne says. It’s simplicity. He advises parents to “dial back”…4. Parental Accommodation & ADHD (featuring ADHD Dude Ryan Wexelblatt) “Parental accommodation...