Anger. It's an emotion so many of us feel. And when I speak to women who are trying to address their anger, it usually involves blaming others. As human beings we are wired to protect ourselves by NOT looking inside to find answers. It's easier to look at what other people are or are not doing.Yet, so often the REAL, CORE reason we feel anger in our lives has a lot to do with what I've defined as internal anger. The part of you that's angry at you.In this episode of the podcast I dive into...

I wanted to make SURE your heard about my new Masterclass on June 26th. It's the Well Made Woman Masterclass and we are diving deep into how to stop self-sacrifice and how to implement healthy boundaries in your relationships and/or marriage.If you find yourself feeling angry and resentful, and are ready to start taking better care of YOU, this is the masterclass that sets that in motion for you.Get all the details, plus register for free here: https://drchavonne.com/wmwm/...

We live in a culture that would have us wear self-sacrifice like a badge of honor.When we speak highly of others, it is usually touting how giving they are, how much they do for others, how they seem to accomplish so much.Rarely do we hear accolades for how well a person took care of themselves, how they set healthy boundaries, how they prioritized their needs and goals.Yet it is the latter that is associated with a greater sense of well-being, fulfillment, and happier, healthier...

As human beings, we are naturally curious and our mind will always want to ask the questions why. You can ask the question why in a way that empowers you or disempowers you. In this podcast episode I am breaking down why it's so important to ask WHY, and sharing with you a process to help you use this question to motivate you to actually create what you want. This is a powerful tool to shift your mindset, and to help you uncover the internal motivation that will best drive you to create more...

When you experience challenges in your life or marriage it can be easy to become hyper-focused on what's going wrong. Your brain will naturally want to ruminate on how bad things are, how disappointed you are feeling, and how unhappy your situation is making you.However, the more you focus on what's going wrong, the more things go wrong. That's because your thoughts and beliefs direct your actions and responses. In this episode, I'm sharing the power of focusing on what you WANT as the way to...

One of the most important skills to develop toward the path of greater fulfillment in life is to be able to honor yourself. Honoring yourself is a beautiful act of self love. It's you standing for you.However, many people have the wrong idea of what this actually looks like.In this episode of the podcast, I break down the 3 mistakes I see happen, that create unnecessary conflict and disconnection in your marriage.I also leave you with 7 specific ways to honor yourself that are effective and...

As human beings we are wired to judge. The idea of judgment helps us determine what is right and true for ourselves. It helps us discriminate and decide upon values, courses of action, and preferences. Inherently, it's not a bad thing.But in marriage, judgment often shows up as making yourself right and the other person wrong. This leads to communication issues, disconnection and conflict.In this episode, I'm tackling the topic of judgment, why it happens in the first place, as well as 4...

Emotions can be a BIG deal in your marriage. Feeling angry, frustrated, sad or disappointed greatly influences the way you show up and interact with your spouse. Many times, my clients experience such intense emotions that it's hard to get out of them and take the loving actions that will created connection and forward progress.In this episode of the podcast, we dive into the experience of being "in your feelings" where you have an emotional block keeping you stuck in a state of conflict and...

One of the most common questions I get asked is "what do you do when your spouse doesn't see the problems in your marriage?" Today I'm answering that question in detail with exactly what will help you move forward to have a better experience in your marriage.Inside this episode you will understand WHY your spouse may have a blind spot, and how you can think about it in a way that leads to less frustration and disappointment, and actually helps you to connect with them and understand them...

Do you and your spouse take a long time to recover from certain arguments?In this podcast episode I'm diving into the topic of prolonged arguments - those times where one or both of you stay upset and in a state of conflict longer than you'd like. There are 5 main reasons this happens and it's important you understand exactly WHAT is contributing to this dynamic in your own marriage. I also share with you the three most important approaches that will help you repair quickly and get on to...

If you find yourself having conversations with your spouse that leave you feeling frustrated, unheard, and misunderstood, this podcast episode will shed important light on what's been going on.I'm diving into the most common examples of communication breakdowns I see in my coaching practice.Understanding EXACTLY where things veer off course will give your the necessary information to actually course correct and ultimately have more productive conversations that move you forward together on...

In marriage, there will be things that trigger you. Your spouse will say or do something, and you have an intense emotional reaction. Reacting to triggers immediately can lead to arguments and conflict that spirals out of control.When most people are triggered, their mind focused on all the things the OTHER person is doing wrong. But in this episode of the podcast, I'm sharing with you the benefits and opportunities for you to go INWARD when you are triggered. I offer you the specific reasons...

How do you deal with things when it's not what you want? From the small things like a wrong or delayed order, to bigger things like major disappointments in your marriage - the way you decide to handle situations matters.In this episode of the podcast, I'm sharing both simple reminders and choice points you always have when things are not unfolding the way you would like.This episode will help you assess how you are currently processing unmet expectations or frustrating circumstances and...

Being busy is one of the most common distractions we use to keep us from truly connecting with ourselves.We pack our days with too many things that are not important, stress us out, or cause us to stretch ourselves too thin.One of the major reasons couples struggle in their relationship is a function of how much overwhelm they experience - often at their own hands. There is a psychology behind being busy.And learning how to break the addiction to always being on the go will improve your life...

If you'd like to solve some of your conflict for good, it's important that your get to the underlying core issues - these are the deeper needs, desires, values and expectations that drive you both,Couples are in conflict because they are being driven by opposing core issues. When you understand this, and are clear about your specific underlying issues, the way you handle arguments, and disappointments changes dramatically.In this episode, I share a process to help you uncover your underlying...

How often do you practice gratitude? It's the one thing that will give you the perspective you need in order to feel better, solve your issues at a higher level, and move yourself forward in a more positive direction.In this episode of the podcast, I"m diving deep into the process of gratitude and how you can use it as a power tool in your life.Whether you're feeling blah, struggle with issues in your life or marriage, or just want to give your emotions a good boost, these principles for how...

If you want your marriage to improve, it requires an identity shift. Usually in both of you. You have to go from a couple in conflict, to a couple that sees themselves as a united team.In this episode of the podcast, I'm diving in to identity shifts. This episode airs on my actual birthday and I was reflecting on my identity this time last year, versus where I am this year. WOW. What a difference. Listen in as I share a simple process to create your own identity shifts and immediately step...

How often are you thinking about and moving in the direction of what you want? Thinking about what you want is one of the most valuable uses of your time. When you focus on what you want, you give yourself the opportunity to create it. Your brain becomes more oriented to how it's possible vs. how it's not.In this podcast episode, we are diving into the 5 steps that help you tap into the goals and desires you have for your marriage so you can actually make them a reality.I also leave you with...

Where were things in your marriage this time last year? Are they better, the same, or worse now? So many couples find themselves stuck dealing with the same thoughts, feelings and issues. In this episode of the podcast I talk through 4 questions you want to ask yourself to uncover and deeply understand why you are where you are.This is a deep and profound conversation to have with yourself, and asking these 4 questions will help you see what's been happening and also what's possible for you...

Pettiness in marriage. Even as adults, we can go there sometimes. It seems justified, but rarely leads to the type of communication and connection we truly want.In this episode I'm breaking down the mindset of petty behavior, so you can understand why this way of showing up can sometimes be so tempting.I also provide you with specific strategies to overcome any petty tendencies in your marriage and offer you the pathway to a more mature, vulnerable and healthy way of working through your...

Whenever I am speaking on the topic of communication in your marriage, there are a series of questions that are commonly asked.This week on the podcast, I'm answering them for you.I dive into the following questions:* What to do when your spouse is super defensive * What to do when your spouse shuts down and refuses to talk about something * How to stop being so angry when you bring things to your spouse* What to do when your spouse is controlling your communication * How to stop finger...

Your communication is the FOUNDATION of your marriage. If you can't communicate effectively, you can't connect. And if you can't connect you have two people essentially living separate lives.In this episode, I have a special guest, and close coach friend, Julie Danielson join me for this co-podcast. Julie is a DIVORCE coach, yep you read that right. And the insight she shares about the communication breakdowns that were persistent issues in her clients previous marriages is enlightening. In...

Today we are talking about challenges - specifically, when you commit to a certain set of actions for a defined period of time in order to achieve an important goal. Challenges can really support you in creating positive change in your life. And at this point in the year, you may have lost sight of a goal, or fallen out of the habits you are looking to change. This episode will give you the boost of motivation you need to get back on track.I'm sharing 3 different types ways to do a challenge,...

One of the most commonly sited skills couples mention needing improvement in is LISTENING. They can recognize their mutual inability to truly listen to understand each other, and notice how often they are listening to PROVE their point. In this episode of the podcast, we are diving into why this happens, and the specific steps you can take to become a better listener in your marriage.When you both are practicing this work, you elevate your conversations and are able to be more productive and...

We are tackling a tough topic today. What's normal? It's a question I get asked so often and while what's normal is in many ways subjective. However, in my conversations with many couples and individuals, there are some common things I see happening (or hear about happening) that are outside the normal range of what's healthy in a relationship.In this episode, I break down the 5 most common not normal vs. normal behaviors and ways of interacting. It is my hope that after listening, you have a...