In this episode, Caggie opens up about her deep and complex relationship with music, tracing it back to her early years and sharing the emotional journey she's experienced along the way. Key Themes: Caggie's Relationship with Music from a Young Age: From her earliest memories, music has played a pivotal role in Caggie’s life. However, as she grew older, her connection to music became both a source of joy and vulnerability. Vulnerability in Sharing Music: Caggie discusses how sharing her music has always made her feel exposed, as it’s a form of self-expression that brings up intense vulnerability. Fears Around Singing: Despite her love for music, Caggie reflects on the fears she’s carried around singing, particularly in front of others. These fears have often held her back from fully stepping into her creative potential. Love-Hate Relationship with Music: While music has been a lifelong passion, Caggie dives into the complexities of her love-hate relationship with it. There have been moments where the pressure to perform and succeed overshadowed her natural love for the art. Pressure, Fears, and Failures: The pressures that come with creativity often bring fears of failure. Caggie shares how these feelings have surfaced throughout her career, particularly during her time on Made in Chelsea (MIC). Creativity – Why All or Nothing? Caggie explores the idea of why creativity sometimes feels like an all-or-nothing pursuit. She questions when creativity shifted from being a joyful expression to something to be criticised or scrutinised. Creative Blockers: A significant part of Caggie’s journey has been dealing with creative blockers. She reflects on the fear of how her music will be received and the external judgment that has haunted her, especially the notion that she’ll never be taken seriously because of her background in reality TV. Where Does the Fear Come From? Caggie contemplates the root of her fear. Is it simply fear of the unknown? Is it tied to ego and self-belief? These are the big questions she grapples with as an artist. Ego and Self-Belief: How does ego get in the way of true creativity? Caggie shares her thoughts on how ego can sometimes overshadow creative expression and how developing a strong sense of self-belief is key to overcoming this. Creativity as an Offering: A powerful idea Caggie shares is that creativity is not something we control, but rather an offering. It chooses the artist to come through, and it’s up to us to honour that process. Discovering Herself in Her 20s: Throughout her 20s, Caggie navigated the journey of discovering who she is, both as a person and an artist. This period of her life was marked by experimentation with different styles of music and self-expression. — Stay tuned every Friday for new episodes of The Courage To Create. Follow or subscribe to Saturn Returns to get notified when each episode drops!  For those inspired to dive deeper, you can join Caggie’s Substack, You Are Not Alone—a creative hub and community where you can follow her reflections and be held accountable on your own creative path. Sign up for your free month here.  If you’d like to learn more about Chiron, the wounded healer, join Caggie for her online workshop with Madeline from Astrology for Artists. Limited spaces available— register your interest here.  At the end of this five-part series, Caggie will release her music project—sign up here to be the first to hear it. The Courage To Create was inspired by Caggie’s episode with Amy McNee (@inspiredtowrite). Listen here!