This week I spiraled out with physical therapist & cast member of instant queer reality tv classic The Ultimatum: Queer Love Xander Boger! This one is a special treat for all you fellow Queer Love Ultimatum fans, because we dove deep into shame around deciding to be on the show, being on the show, and the emotionally complicated aftermath. And we don't just discuss the show- we also went hard on queer relationships and codependency, chasing people who are giving you every signal that they don't want to be with you, being a healthcare provider with a public persona, and so much more.  Plus. Xander tells a shame story about watching the show for the very first time LITERAL HOUR before filming the reunion, and spiraling around seeing herself exist on screen in the place they were in at the time of the show- and reckoning with the world seeing her in that place , too.  Xander was such a delight to talk with and was so real and honest about the intricacies of the whole multi-layered reality tv process and about life overall! I officially love them now and I know you will too, if you don't already! You can follow Xander on Instagram and TikTok @xander.ology, and if you want to check out the work they're doing now, peep their website www.movewithxan.com, where they're newly offering virtual physical therapy and yoga and more.  You can follow me and the pod on IG, TikTok & Twitter @elykreimendahl and @podshamespiral, where I'm regularly posting fun and juicy video clips from the episodes. Thank you so much for listening, and please rate and review!  Audio Engineer: Sarah Gabrielli  Original Music: Shadwick Wilde  Cover Art: Cassidy Kulhanek  twitter.com/podshamespiral instagram.com/podshamespiral instagram.com/elykreimendahl tiktok.com/@elykreimendahl twitter.com/elykreimendahl