“When I was in my first year of medical school, I finally came out to my homophobic dad and it did not go well,” announces Ron Holt, DO, a board certified psychiatrist, author and advocate for LGBTQ+ rights. “I never want anyone to go through my traumatic experience,” and that is why Dr. Holt is such a relentless champion for the LGBTQ+ community. He has presented talks nationally for more than 15 years on the consequences of bullying, suicide risk reduction, access to quality health care for...

Professor Eric Schrimshaw has conducted extensive research on a variety of topics related to the LGBTQ+ population, including HIV prevention and treatment, the use of pornography by gay and bisexual men, men involved in sex work online, and most recently, on behaviorally bisexual men, a topic we discussed in this Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast. In this particular study, the research team focused on men who identify themselves socially as heterosexual, but they reported in the study that they...

Alex de la Cruz started his career in advertising and moved into product design, specializing in drinkware and dinnerware for some of the largest retailers in the country. After 15 years, he felt stagnate and needed a change. His creativity, innovation and own traumatic personal journey led to the beginnings of Bator Balm, a men’s edging lubricant that enhances the bating experience and has strengthened a sense of community among bators. In this Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Alex tells his...

Sex, romance, death and divorce are just four of the subjects the Old Gay Guys explore during this Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast. Bill Lyons, 79; Jessay Martin, 70; Robert Reeves, 80; and Mick Peterson, 67; like to call themselves the “Old Gay Guys,” but that doesn’t even come close to describing who they are and the impact they have made on literally millions of lives! The four friends modeled for Men’s Health, and “we dropped our pants” when we were asked,” they all laugh about their first...

Since the pandemic, sexual empowerment has increased 30 percent and sexual self-esteem now is 50 percent higher. Why the change, and is this good? Searah Deysach, a sex educator and owner of Early to Bed and Trans Essentials, answered those questions and many more in my recent Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast.  “COVID changed our lives quickly and abruptly,” she begins. “Suddenly we were forced to spend time alone, or alone with our partner. “We were talking about our relationship more and what...

Conventional wisdom tells us it takes two people with an equal commitment to save a marriage. Winifred Reilly does not share that way of thinking, and she can prove it. Living in a 10-year static marriage, she applied her therapeutic skills to her own relationship journey. More than 35 years later, her marriage is stronger than ever, she continues to use these techniques very successfully in her therapy practice, and she has written a book, “It Takes One to Tango,” which demonstrates how to...

In my first Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast for Season 4, I opened it quite explosively with featured guest, Boyslut Zachary Zane, as he likes to be called. At the young age of 32, Zachary is quite accomplished. He is a Brooklyn-based columnist, sex expert, author and activist whose work focuses on sexuality, culture and the LGBTQIA community. Recently, he wrote a book, Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto, and we talked about it – very openly, candidly and explicitly. Bisexuality has had very...

Can a heterosexual woman unexpectedly fall in love with another woman? Can a gay man eroticize about a heterosexual woman? It is in our human capacity to respond to our sexuality even though society is not quite accepting of sexual fluidity. What exactly is sexual fluidity? According to Lisa Diamond, professor of Psychology and Gender Studies at the University of Utah, sexual fluidity is the capacity for flexible erotic responses. For the past 25 years, Dr. Diamond has studied the development...

Nic Reveles, somatic sex educator and sexological bodyworker, has dedicated the past several years of his life to helping gay, bisexual and queer-identified men recover from the trauma imposed on their bodies by culture, church and family in a centuries’ old attempt to control sexuality and sexual expression.  “Coach Nic” developed Body Prayer to reclaim the Sacred for our Erotic Bodies. In his new profession – he was a reknown musician for more than two decades and then shifted careers to...

Pornography is not an addiction; it is a way to escape from other issues in your life. In a recent Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Joshua Grubbs, PhD, a clinical psychologist and associate professor in the clinical psychology PhD program at Bowling Green State University, talks about addictions and how to gain a better understanding of them.  He notes that research is exploding when it comes to understanding sex addiction … and whether it truly is an addiction. “The more we know about it, the...

“Someone asked me to choke him for a fee, and that is how it all started,” reports Master Arch, a fetish worker, ProDom, fetish creator, death escort and financial fetishist. Master Arch has been on the scene a long time and has a great deal to share about the Findom fetish.  Financial domination (also known as Findom) is now more widely accepted; it no longer is a passing fad, Master Arch points out during a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast. It goes beyond fetish in the world of BDSM, and it is...

Narcissists engage in behaviors that will keep the world around them more comfortable, and they will trap you into believing their way of thinking is the only way of thinking. You do not have to be a victim in their life of manipulation.  You won’t change a narcissist, but you can change how you handle yourself and cope more effectively with these situations. In a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Matt Phifer, a therapist and expert in toxic relationships, narcissism, trauma and emotional abuse,...

Women never gave up their claim; it was stripped from them, finds Kate Balestrieri, PhD, licensed psychologist and certified sex addiction therapist. Women can build resilience and lead the life they want – sexually and holistically. During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Dr. Balestrieri talks about the challenges women face when it comes to sexuality, identity and vulnerability, and how they can reclaim their sexuality on their own terms.   Women often are treated in unwanted ways and...

Heather McPherson is living her dream career. A multi-passionate entrepreneur, she has incorporated all of her loves into her business and is having the time of her life! A licensed marriage and family therapist supervisor, a licensed professional counselor supervisor, an AASECT and SHA certified sex therapist, the CEO and Founder of SHA (Sexual Health Alliance), the CEO of Respark Therapy and Associates, and a podcast host of Practice Outside the Lines, Heather is doing it all! In a Smart...

Marriage and couples therapist Lynda Spann, PhD, knows firsthand the struggles two women may face in an intimate and romantic relationship. She also knows how to love in a way that frees her to be her true self, and, today, she works with all couples – different sex and same sex – to improve their relationship. During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Dr. Spann talks about how different sex couples can learn from same sex couples how to have a healthy, loving relationship.  Women traditionally...

Your child comes home from school angry and upset. He throws a temper tantrum for seemingly no reason at all. You respond with the same anger and send him to his room in frustration. His bad behavior is not tolerable, so you punish him for his outburst. You and your daughter spend a fun day at the beach. When it is time to go home, she protests and starts screaming at you. She is not ready to leave and is not going to leave. The louder she yells, the angrier you get. By the time you are able...

Couples often are so focused on lasting long enough in bed that they end up experiencing performance anxiety and the shame and worry that accompanies those feelings. The result: a bad bedroom outcome. But this can change! During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Dr. Joe Kort talked with Jeff Abraham, CEO of Promescent, who offers some advice for lasting longer in the bedroom and having better intimacy. Anxiety is the number one reason therapists see individuals dealing with sexual dysfunction,...

Crossdressing is not a gender; it’s an action! Savannah Hauk, author, speaker and podcaster on the subject of demystifying the crossdressing experience, shares her thoughts and experiences as a crossdresser on a Smart Sex Smart Love episode. Savannah is a male-to-female dual gender individual supporting and promoting non-binary visibility. Her focus is letting every crossdressing person find their own confidence, expression, identity and voice. She frequently is asked why she chooses to...

Vulnerability in men can lead to isolation, depression and suicide. In fact, the suicide rate in men is four times more than women, and suicide is the seventh leading cause of death in men. Why are men afraid to share their vulnerability? And what can they do about it so they will feel empowered to lead a life of connection, openness and honesty? As young boys, males are taught not to shed tears because it is a sign of weakness. It is unmanly and unattractive, they’ve been told. It’s time to...

Sensate focus isn’t a new technique, however, do you know how to use it effectively to truly reconnect to your body and your sensual self? During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Linda Weiner, certified diplomate in sex therapy and author of a book entitled, “Sensate focus in sex therapy: The illustrated manual,” explains this mindful touching technique that can enhance your sex life. “You can turn off the chatter” in your mind and tune into your body to improve your sex life, she finds. The...

How do I know if I’m asexual? Do I even understand the word “asexuality?”  During the Season 3 opening podcast of Smart Sex, Smart Love, Cody Daigle-Orians, an asexual writer and educator, shares his own personal experience of discovering his identity as asexual in hopes of helping others who are confused about finding the “label” that bests fit them. When you are not sure of what you are feeling, be sure of what you are not, he asserts. Cody came out as gay at the age of 18, but he knew that...

Approximately 84 percent of gay men say they feel under intense pressure to have a good body. Only one percent stated they were “very happy” with their appearance, and as they grow older, the body image struggles seem to intensify.  Why are gay men hyper-focused on body image? Objectification, mattering, minority stress and gay ageism are contributors to a gay man’s dissatisfaction with his body, studies have shown. In addition, Apps like Grindr only make it worse. Gay men are shamed,...

Your sex drive has shut down. You’re getting older, you’ve hit menopause, and you don’t feel beautiful anymore. You do not have to be ghosted by your libido, says Sex Therapist Susana Mayer, PhD, during a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast. Sexuality is ageless. Your body may be changing, but that does not mean your sex life is ending. You are in charge of your pleasure. If you feel your partner is not understanding the physical changes you are going through and how they are affecting your...

Can a polyamorous relationship work? Is monogamy the only relationship that can succeed? According to Certified Sex Therapist Martha Kauppi, beautifully functioning open relationships can and do work!  Polyamory involves engaging in multiple romantic or sexual relationships with different people. These relationships will work, but couples must first put the right pieces in place to ensure a secure, successful, workable and healthy polyamorous relationship. Here are a few factors to consider...