CYCLE 3 FINALE! This one is a doozy. Not because of the episode. We cover the plot for about 20 full minutes! The rest is just mess and laughing our asses off. Sorry not sorry. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.

It's Harajuku week and the girls are on a style journey they are most certainly not into. From the confusion in the styling challenge, to Ann's s****y attitude we are one episode away from wrapping up this Tokyo adventure. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.

All Tea. No. Seriously. The models learn how to participate in a traditional tea ceremony and according to Norelle, "opening a sliding door in Japan takes five minutes". They also do a shoot for T Mobile with guidance from Tyra. One learns, the rest fumble. We'll let you guess who. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.

THE GIRLS MEET TAYE DIGGS. Do we need to say a whole lot more? I mean, they go to Japan which is cute. But Taye.....Diggs.....ugh. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.

Do you know what a go see is? It's where you GO and SEE the designers who will potentially hire you. And if you don't remember, don't worry. Tyra and the rest of the ANTM fam will remind you during this whole episode. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.

Do you know what a go see is? It's where you GO and SEE the designers who will potentially hire you. And if you don't remember, don't worry. Tyra and the rest of the ANTM fam will remind you during this whole episode. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.

Not her precious brownies! Anne leaves Cassie a note in her food, but we can't decide what is more nasty...low carb brownies, or Anne's attitude. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review. 

We finally get a light hearted episode y'all! Well, light hearted in comparison to the heavy shit in every other episodes so far this cycle. Come play with us! And remember, the order is inhale, shot, exhale. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.

Does Amanda really set a trap? Or does she trap herself into looking like a fool? Let's get messy and talk some shit about Cycle 3 Epidsode 5. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.

This week we join the models as they have THEIR MAKEOVERS AHHH!!! That's right, it's makeover week. Tears, laughs, attitudes, and diva-licious attitudes all around! This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.

We made it through casting of Cycle 3 and now it's time to dive in to the competition. Get ready folks. We have a stage 5 clinger on our hands. This is Standards of Beauty: A Fiercely Real America's Next Top Model Review.

We are back, y'all... and since we're kicking off a new cycle, we have a fiercely real-sized episode! Over 30 top model hopefuls land in Los Angeles for semi-finals, but between late night bar fights and bathroom elimination breakdowns, the competition is whittled down to fourteen. There's no more Matrix sunglasses, but the pre-Karen haircut is in full effect. 

This week's drag tips include: how to get into your favorite celebrity's DMs. This week's drag tips include: how to get into your favorite celebrity's DMs. Meanwhile in Milan, the last three models have a final go-see with Dsquared2. Spoiler alert, Shanthrax doesn't make it. Then, Mercedes and Yoanna walk against each other in a final fashion show. And one of them is crowned America's Next Top Model.

This week, we get one of the most memorable moments from ANTM, of all time. While in Milan, Shandi cheats on her boyfriend and the phone call that results is... a glass case of emotion. The models pair off in a nude photo shoot, styled by Nolé Marin, but one of the girls oversteps her bounds. 

CW: eating disorders. This week is truly the best of times, and the worst of times. We get one of the most iconic lines in ANTM herstory. The model jet off to Milan and take part in go-sees, and pose in a high fashion sunglasses photoshoot. But it's at a dinner with Tyra where Camille accuses Yoanna, and the conversation heads south.  gofundme for our sister Frozaen: https://gofund.me/108ddbea

This week, the girls take a dancing class, while Sissy & Jeannie entertain themselves for the better part of the episode. Then, the models' choreography is put to the test while they perform as background dancers for Tyra Banks's world premiere of her first single, "Shake Ya Body". 

This week, Camille suffers from an allergic reaction, meanwhile the only thing Sissy & The Other Jeannie are suffering from is being too high. The models get some acting training from Tasha Smith, which they put to the test in an high-flying action commercial for Rollitos (RIP). At least no one on this cycle is terrified of heights, right? 

We're back like poltergeist, y'all! This week, the models open up about their personal backstories and they learn all about charisma. Then, they pose underwater for Quench and we meet Nolé Marin, and his Pomeranian Minnie! In judging, the women have to be pretend to be spokesmodels and it's... something. 

Oofta, this week is a doozy. Some of it old hat: Catie is still crying and Jenascia is still short. The models meet Simon Doonan and Betsey Johnson, but at the photoshoot this week, the remaining nine impersonate famous celebrities, and Xiomara is given Grace Jones. So this is our first impasse of Blackface in ANTM, and it’s rough to say the least. But at least Janice is having a great time. 

A lot of tears are shed this episode, y'all. Not by Sissy or Jeannie, but by our Queen of Wilmar, Minnesota: Catie. This episode might as well be a Destiny's Child song, because it is a lot of emotions. First, she cries because it's the quintessential moment of every cycle: makeover week. And then, more tears because this week, the models are suspended hundreds of feet in the air, but it still doesn't make Jenascia tall, and she'll be the first one to point it out. 

The models get weighed in, while Sissy & Jeannie open up about their personal body journeys. Then, it's time for a lesson from Miss Jay on runway (featuring some particularly unflattering unitards), until half of the episode inexplicably becomes about Camille & Yoanna drama. The models pose for a Steve Madden ad, and we see who can walk the walk. 

Cue some CeCe Peniston, because we have FINALLY arrived at Cycle 2. We meet a new crop of models, but the cream of that crop is the photographer for the shoot, and new judge on the panel: Nigel Barker. The ladies pose nude in a Garden of Eden-themed photo for color contact lenses. Some rise to the challenge, some refuse to show their skin, and someone sleeps through the alarm. 

OMG y'all... we made it to the finale of Cycle 1. Sissy and Jeannie record their first episode together in the same room. Elyse tries to give us a science lesson. We get the ICONIC Baby Phat fashion show, and our queen Adrianne is crowned the first ever America's Next Top Model. 

Jeannie and Sissy get so high that they can fly a kite to Paris. Meanwhile, the models explore the city and participate in the most revealing photoshoot yet, featuring an iconic moment with Robin. We also see Tyra behind the camera for the first time as she photographs the final four.