In this segment of the "We Were In a Cult?" series here on the Clemenz With a "Z" podcast, we’re joined by former member of the ICOC Chris, who shares his deeply personal journey through and beyond the International Churches of Christ. In this conversation, Chris opens up about the psychological remnants of his time in the ICOC, from internalized guilt to the challenges of embracing his own story. We’ll explore the concept of "little t" traumas—those subtle yet profound experiences that leave...

In this episode of Clemenz With a 'Z', I reflect on the power of poetry to connect us to our roots, our struggles, and our freedoms. I'll be reading a poem that speaks to me deeply—a piece that reminds us of the generations who came before, those who endured unimaginable challenges to carve a path to the lives we live today. As I read, I think about the choices they made, the sacrifices, and the strength that flows through the family tree, down to us. This episode invites you to pause and...

In this emotional and powerful installment of We Were In a Cult?, Emma Fellows shares her deeply personal journey of healing after her time in the International Churches of Christ. Emma opens up about the challenges she faced, including navigating trauma related to her gender identity, mental health struggles, and the pain of being invalidated by those who caused harm. Trigger Warning: This episode discusses sensitive topics, including self-harm, suicide, and trauma related to gender...

As we approach Thanksgiving, I’m continuing my project of sharing poetry with a focus on gratitude. In this episode of Clemenz With a 'Z', we explore Steve Taylor’s Savor This World, Savor This Life, a poem that reminds us to slow down and appreciate each moment as a gift. Taylor’s words resonate in those hectic times when life feels overwhelming, inviting us to see our brief presence as a rare privilege and to live with wonder and gratitude. Join me as we pause, reflect, and savor this life...

In this episode of We Were In a Cult?, I’m joined by Lian, who shares her story of growing up within the ICOC after being adopted into a family devoted to the church. Raised with the ICOC’s strict beliefs and expectations, Leanne opens up about her journey from childhood innocence to an intense struggle with guilt and self-worth under the church's pressures. From confronting the demands of ‘sin studies’ to redefining her faith, she reveals the courage it took to walk away from the only life...

In this latest episode of Clemenz With a 'Z', I take listeners along on my journey through the contemporary evangelical church landscape. Having grown up in both the ICOC and traditional Church of Christ, I’ve seen church as a place of deep engagement, community, and connection. But now, after visiting multiple churches over the past few months, I’m questioning if modern church culture has shifted from a space of spiritual participation to a consumer-driven experience. With concert-like...

"In this latest episode of Clemenz With a Z, I dive into a powerful piece by Stephen Taylor called The Mask. This poem, which explores the protective façades we wear, is part of an ongoing segment where I share poetry that has helped shape my journey. Inspired by Robert Frost’s words, 'Poetry is when emotion has found its thought and the thought has found the words,' this reading invites us to reflect on the masks we carry and the freedom that can come from setting them aside. Join me as I...

In this episode of Clemenz With a 'Z', I sit down with Dwan, a former member of the International Churches of Christ (ICOC). As part of our series, ‘We Were in a Cult?’.  Dwan shares how a chance reconnection with a high school friend led her to join the ICOC, at a time when she was searching for a sense of belonging and connection.  As she opens up about the subtle ways people are drawn into the church, we explore the emotional impact of this journey, the moments of self-reflection, and the...

In this episode of Clemenz With a Z, we’re unpacking one of the most challenging and transformative journeys many of us face: healing. Inspired by our recent conversation with former ICOC member Alan Allard, who shared his path from spiritual trauma to self-recovery, this episode delves into what it truly means to heal. Healing isn't a straightforward process, and there's no universal approach or quick fix. Here, I share personal reflections, experiences from others, and practical insights on...

In this episode of Clemenz With a Z, I dive into the concept of “The Pressure to Do,” exploring how relentless demands impact our well-being. Drawing from Steve Taylor's poignant poem in The Calm Center, I reflect on how this pressure to always be "doing" invades our quiet moments and fuels a cycle of perpetual activity. This isn’t just about productivity; it's about questioning the need to fill every moment and redefining what “enough” truly means. Join me as we uncover the grace of simply...

"Welcome to Clemenz with a Z, where we explore the powerful stories of those who’ve broken free from high-control religious groups. This latest episode is a kind of We Were in a Cult? segment as well as talk on healing from spiritual trauma.  I was able to speak with Alan Allard, a former member of the International Churches of Christ (ICOC). Alan shares how his experiences within the ICOC shaped his journey of spiritual abuse recovery and inspired him to become a coach dedicated to helping...

Welcome back to Clemenz With a Z! In today’s episode, we dive into a special poem that found me when I needed it most—The Laughing Heart by Charles Bukowski. This piece has been a constant source of light for me, especially during darker times. As we continue our exploration of poetry, I want to take a moment to reflect on its power to help us slow down, connect, and find meaning in life’s toughest moments. Whether you're new to Bukowski or familiar with his wild life and words, this poem...

In this episode of the Clemenz with a Z podcast, we continue our series "We Were in a Cult?" with a powerful and raw conversation with Nicole, who grew up as a ‘Kingdom Kid’ in the International Churches of Christ (ICOC). Raised within a high-control religious group, Nicole shares her journey from a childhood immersed in faith to a deep questioning of everything she once believed. Her path led her not only to leave the church but to ultimately identify as an atheist. Nicole’s story is one of...

"Hey everyone, it’s Roy, and welcome back to Clemenz With a Z! Today’s episode kicks off a new series I’ve been working on, asking a big question—Are churches cults? In this exploration, I’ll be diving into the similarities between churches like Hillsong and Mars Hill and the ICOC, which has often been labeled a cult. This week, I’m sharing my experience at a local church, where the preacher’s sermon took an unexpected turn. He warned the congregation against listening to the song Landslide...

In the latest episode of Clemenz With a 'Z', I’m excited to embark on a new journey into the world of poetry. This episode is the first in a series where I’ll be sharing poems that have deeply resonated with me, starting with Joyce Kilmer’s Trees and a powerful piece from Steve Taylor’s The Calm Center. Poetry has a unique ability to connect us, helping us pause, reflect, and find meaning in everyday life. Whether you're a longtime poetry enthusiast or just curious, I invite you to listen as...

In this episode of Clemenz With a 'Z', I sit down with AnneMarie, a former member of the International Churches of Christ (ICOC). As part of our series, ‘We Were in a Cult?’, AnneMarie shares her personal journey from being drawn into the ICOC to the life-changing decision to leave. Through her candid reflections, we explore the emotional, spiritual, and psychological effects of being part of a high-control group. Tune in for an eye-opening conversation about faith, identity, and personal...

Welcome back to Clemenz With a 'Z'! In today’s episode, we’re doing things a bit differently with a reintroduction—both to myself and this podcast. Over the past five years, this platform has evolved in ways I never anticipated, especially with the incredible response to the "We Were in a Cult?" series. From its beginnings as the Balanced Male Podcast, this show has grown into a space where we explore deep and meaningful stories, offering healing and understanding for people from all walks of...

In this episode of Clemenz with a Z, we continue the series “We Were in a Cult?”  We continue our discussion with a conversation featuring Asha.  Asha shares their incredible journey of being drawn into the International Churches of Christ (ICOC) back in 1993, all the way from Kerala, India. We discuss the emotional complexities of life within the ICOC, the controlling tactics used by the organization, and how Asha eventually found the strength to break free. Tune in for an insightful, raw,...

In this episode of Clemenz with a Z, we continue the series “We Were in a Cult?” with a compelling conversation featuring Jakob. First introduced to the International Church of Christ (ICOC) in Russia and the Ukraine, Jakob later relocated to the Middle East, where his journey with the organization continued. He and his wife have spent years unraveling the complexities of their time in the ICOC, and in this episode, Jacob opens up about the challenges of leaving, the process of healing, and...

In this latest episode of Clemenz With a 'Z' Podcast, we continue our series “We Were in a Cult?” with a conversation featuring Jennifer, a former member of the International Churches of Christ (ICOC). Jen shares her early memories of growing up in the church, attending services in unique locations, and the lasting impact of that experience. From humorous anecdotes about “lipstick-shaped” hotels to deeper reflections on community and faith, Jen’s story is both engaging and...

Hey everyone!  I got another episode here for the "We Were In a Cult?" Series here on the Clemenz With a "Z" podcast. Today, we again dive deep into a compelling and often heartbreaking topic with our segment titled "We Were In a Cult?" In this eye-opening episode of Clemenz with a Z, I sit down with former member Joselyn to discuss her experience with the International Churches of Christ (ICOC), a church that we all know has sparked both devotion and controversy. Jocelyn shares how she was...

Hey everyone!  I got another episode here for the "We Were In a Cult?" Series here on the Clemenz With a "Z" podcast. Today, we again dive deep into a compelling and often heartbreaking topic with our segment titled "We Were In a Cult?" In this episode. I sit down with writer and former actor Shari Simpson, who shares her story of being drawn into the International Churches of Christ (ICOC). Shari recounts how a chance encounter on the streets of Manhattan led her into the church, and how her...

In this episode, we dive deep into the often-overlooked topic of anxiety among men. Joined by former guest here on the podcast Miles, we candidly explore how anxiety has affected our lives, from childhood experiences to the ongoing challenges we face as adults. We discuss the stigma surrounding mental health, particularly in men, and how breaking the silence can lead to healing. Whether it’s managing daily stress or dealing with panic attacks, we share personal stories, coping strategies, and...

In this episode of *Clemenz With a 'Z'*, we dive deep into the profound and often challenging journey of grief with our special guest, Liz. Together, we explore the emotional landscape that accompanies loss, the process of healing, and the ways in which grief reshapes our lives and perspectives. Liz opens up about her personal experiences, offering insights into the different stages of grief, the importance of support systems, and how to find meaning and resilience amidst the pain. Whether...