If you're anything like me, you love hearing your man say you're beautiful and the best wife or you did a great job. If you’re not hearing those things, it’s only natural to crave some compliments. That’s just human. We all need to be seen, heard and understood, and compliments are part of that. Going without them is dreary and unsustainable, like trying to hold your breath. So on today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about why compliments are important in a...

When you see your husband drinking too much, it’s very scary because you can’t help but wonder: Is this an addiction? Is he an alcoholic? If so, everybody knows that would come with a lifetime of suffering. Even if you’re not worried about that, just seeing him choose to get wasted instead of wanting to be with you hurts a lot. I remember how confused and hurt I was when I realized my husband would rather do a lot of things that seemed like a waste than spend time with me. I felt so unlovable...

If your man isn’t happy, of course you want to cheer him up so you’re not getting dragged down yourself, which is tiring. I thought I could make my husband happy by doing things for him that would’ve made me happy. I was doing a bunch of stuff I thought would make him happy that felt like a lot of work for me but was not working—at all—because he is so different from me. Sometimes it made him feel even worse, then we’d fight because he didn’t appreciate all I was doing. Let’s not both make...

If your husband has a crush on another woman, it can make you feel terrible and not special. He committed to loving you and only you ’til death do us part, and now? He’s using an excited voice with the neighbor, going out of his way to help her, texting someone a lot more than usual, staying at work later with a female colleague, or staring at another woman. And that’s scary. It seems so wrong that he could feel that way, like a betrayal. Crushes can grow into something more. Even if nothing...

Being around Eeyore all the time is draining and discouraging. How are you supposed to enjoy life when your man is constantly making gloomy comments and throwing cold water on everything? You might wonder when he’s going to snap out of it or look for nutritional supplements for him or sleep aids or a therapist to help him cheer the heck up so you don’t have to be around his apathetic self. But none of that works, in my experience. So on today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, I’m...

It has such a chilling effect on intimacy you’re getting called names, especially rude ones that you wouldn’t even want to repeat. It’s so hurtful and scary. Everyone knows you shouldn’t put up with that if you have any self-respect. Verbal or emotional abuse is not okay. It also makes you feel really bad—unless you practice the Intimacy Skills and know about vulnerability. I know it sounds odd to even use the word “vulnerability” in the same sentence as “name-calling.” How can you be...

When you want a reset, you don’t like the track things are on… There’s too much conflict, tension or distance. Maybe you miss how passionate your relationship once was. Instead of having fun together, it feels like painful drudgery. Instead of being exhilarated together, you feel like awkward roommates. So how do you get back to the good times you once had? Is it even possible? Or was that just him being on his best behavior and now you’re seeing the real him? On today’s episode of The...

When your husband resents you, the tension is so uncomfortable, especially if he’s just scowling or hiding in his cave and being silent, ignoring you, neglecting you. It would be nice if he’d just come out with it and tell you he resents you and WHY. Then you’d know exactly where you stand instead of wondering what’s going to happen. You could make plans, defend yourself, or find a way to make him stop resenting you. You could look for the words to have him reevaluate, including that it’s not...

It’s so devastating and hurtful if your husband leaves you because he’s unhappy. First, he loved you enough to marry you in front of God and everybody. Then he was so unhappy he left you? That’s not what he promised to do, and it feels like such a betrayal. Not only does it knock the wind out of you, he’s the very person you would turn to for comfort. Instead, you’re left to fend for yourself, which is incredibly scary and lonely. It could even make you feel unlovable and hopeless. But you...

When my marriage was really bad, I just wanted to force it to get better through sheer will. That’s why I made John go to marriage counseling! I was willing to put in hard work and perseverance, of course, because that’s what I figured it meant to “work on” your marriage. I mean, I’d always heard marriage is hard work. Hard work! I heard that a lot. Weirdly, it’s not hard work now; it’s easy and fun and light. But back then I was exhausted, frustrated, and impatient for it to change already!...

If your husband isn’t keeping his promises, like to love, honor and cherish you, or is drinking way too much or there’s another woman who’s too close or he’s just become a loser pants, then how are you supposed to respect him? What if he’s abusive? What if he’s distant or absent? What if he’s walking away from the marriage? What if he conned you? It’s painful enough to be in that situation without feeling like now you should somehow just suck it up and be a respectful saint to him. How is...

If you’ve been struggling in your relationship for a while, you’re probably exhausted. I remember how hopeless and scared I felt when we’d been struggling for years and nothing was working to make it better. Not marriage counseling, not books about relationships, not working on communication—none of that worked for us. It’s such a disappointment to go from feeling like he’s an amazing person you’re excited to spend the rest of your life with, to wondering what happened to that guy and feeling...

I found myself doing all the housework not long after we were married because I thought it would be nice for him and I wanted to be a nice wife, plus I wanted a clean house, homemade meals, and neatly folded laundry. And I wanted those things done the right way. It wasn’t long before I was overwhelmed, exhausted and mighty resentful! I was doing everything while he just skated along and watched TV, like I was the mom and he was a little boy. So I decided he HAD to help and told him that. But...

This was one of the great mysteries of my life, so I want to share this with as many women as possible. I don’t want anybody to suffer just because they don’t know about these mistakes. Because before I knew them, I suffered. Just a few years into our marriage, my husband John refused to do housework. When I tried to tell him to wash the dishes, he just turned up the TV to drown me out. I begged, demanded, and repeated myself. I signed us up for marriage counseling, but it didn’t help. He...

If you’re anything like I was, this isn’t the first year you’ve resolved to improve your relationship. I said it year after year because I was so stuck and didn’t know what to do to get my husband to pay attention to me, be more affectionate, and be more responsible. But this new year, your marriage can actually be different. And I don’t mean because you’re going to try harder, which never works but is very tiring (I’m tired just thinking about it). Or by going to counseling since many...

If you’re anything like I was, this isn’t the first year you’ve resolved to improve your relationship. I said it year after year because I was so stuck and didn’t know what to do to get my husband to pay attention to me, be more affectionate, and be more responsible. But this new year, your marriage can actually be different. And I don’t mean because you’re going to try harder, which never works but is very tiring (I’m tired just thinking about it). Or by going to counseling since many...

Every month the Certified Relationship Coaches and I get together and tell true stories about our relationships because having lots of stories to share is an important part of being a great relationship coach. Some of the best stories, those most valuable to the person you’re coaching? They’re embarrassing. They’re not proud moments or good examples of how to be a model wife. More like horrible warnings of what NOT to do to have a healthy marriage. Those are the kinds of stories we tell at...

When you’re going to trust someone with something as important as making your marriage last and thrive, it’s scary. You want to make sure it’s the right someone! Especially if you’re trying to navigate a crisis, like a separation, the threat of divorce, or an affair, which feels so vulnerable and private. There’s so much at stake, like your whole family’s happiness and future! You shouldn’t have to go through that alone, but you also need someone super safe who won’t judge you. That’s also...

When your husband treats you like a roommate, it feels cold and lonely. You didn’t get married to have a roommate! You got married to enjoy each other’s company, to enjoy passion, and if you’re anything like me, to feel desired. So getting the roommate treatment is a bait-and-switch that can make you feel rejected and abandoned as a wife. It’s also embarrassing. At least it was for me, because I felt like it was proof that I wasn’t desirable, which I wasn’t, and that our marriage was falling...

Okay, I don’t have much to say about outlaws. I just love that joke, that the difference between outlaws and in-laws is that outlaws are wanted. That’s because in-laws can be annoying and get on your very last nerve! They might be nosy, overbearing, or passive-aggressive, but you can’t get rid of them, as much as you might like to sometimes. Or is that me I’m thinking of? Well, not anymore. Now I genuinely like all my in-laws. I used to find fault with them like it was buried treasure, but it...

It feels really bad when the man who promised to love honor and cherish you sneers at you when you’re talking, takes sides with the kids, doesn’t bother to answer you when you’re saying something important, makes demands or criticizes you. It’s so hurtful and insulting. You start to feel like you’re always on guard to protect yourself, which is tiring too. How is it ever going to improve if he’s just getting ruder and more dismissive? It’s scary to think about spending the rest of your life...

First of all, I don’t even have kids to disrespect me, so this could be a really short podcast because what do I know?! Sure, I know what it’s like to be disrespected by exceedingly short people. It is so frustrating because I can just pick them up and drop them on the bed while they giggle relentlessly like bedtime is some big game instead of the end of my childcare shift, which can’t come fast enough. I am the person in charge of them, the boss, and everyone knows you have to respect your...

If you suspect your man is just a little too emotionally intimate with another woman, it feels terrible. It’s threatening because emotional intimacy was a big part of how you two fell in love to begin with. It could signal that he’s falling for someone else, which is not right. You shouldn’t have to fear that some other woman is having the connection with him that you want or that she might have bigger plans for his future. But where’s the line on emotional cheating? If he were clearly over...