The strangest part about terminal illness is how often death comes for a peck on the lips and nothing more. A few weeks ago, I flew home to attend my mother's final affairs. Now we sit, smoothies and champagne glasses, watching a movie to spend time together. It's sunny this Tuesday. Here are reflections from Invisible Beauty on Bethann Hardison, from both me and my mother. Jazz of the Episode: Stepping Through The Shadow x Menahan Street Band Tryin’ Times x Roberta Flack Estate x Leilo...

a series of musings nearly entitled, “I am frightened by the way people tire of the world.” I have had a negative amount of desire to write but Toni Morrison said it’s your job to write when evil wishes to distract you so. Here I am, I suppose. The thesis of today’s musings are that we want the fiction of a happy ending more than we want actual liberation. Looking for a transcript, sources and links? Read the full work at ismatu.substack.com. Selected Jazz of the Episode: Muziqa heywete x...

Questions for your consideration: how do I appreciate you well for taking part in this space? And, how best can we a public good? Please whatever comment features you have available and let me know! ft. Afternoon of a Swan by Speedy West This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ismatu.substack.com/subscribe

Sleep tips for those who struggle to sleep when they could. Essay (and transcript) available at ismatu.substack.com. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ismatu.substack.com/subscribe

Squeeee we finished!!! I have finally (!!!) finished my reading of the first chapter of How To Go Mad Without Losing Your Mind by Dr. La Marr Jurelle Bruce and let me tell you, reading it took a bite out of me. It was so difficult and so worth it. Cannot recommend the full text enough!! As per my agreement with Dr. Bruce, this audio reading is only available for 90 days (so that means they all have to come down by June 3rd). DO NOT PROCRASTINATE! Okay toodles!!! Warmest regards, Ismatu g....

A letter written for Bisan, circulated to my constituency: Peace. I write to you from the floor of my bedroom in Sierra Leone. Two days ago, Iran launched successful counter-attacks against the apartheid regime occupying the land of Palestine, currently known as Israel (which bombed their embassy in an open act of war on April 1). I can hear construction workers breaking rocks outside my window and the children of the house playing and running and the noise of Freetown traffic in an endless...

an essay nearly entitled, “the orange trees teach me art-making.” This essay is a continuation of my prolonged look at revolutionary healers in practice to become one— where healing also includes artistry. What is my role as an freedom-minded artist, this side of revolution? Check the link to donate to the universal basic income program for Ebola Survivors in Kenema, Sierra Leone below! https://msha.ke/ismatu Theses: A (art-making) = B(world-making) = C (truth-telling) (1) One of the...

Hold tight. The way to go mad without losing your mind is sometimes unruly. Author: La Marr Jurelle Bruce Hyperlinked above is their academia.edu page, which has a lovely biography and two more brilliant articles available to read. Remember that orienting oneself with the author (who wrote it? for what reason?) aids in understanding their arguments. There is no one viewpoint of objectivity. Presented in audio is a reading of pages 1-11 of How to Go Mad Without Losing Your Mind. The full...

Hold tight. The way to go mad without losing your mind is sometimes unruly. Author: La Marr Jurelle Bruce Hyperlinked above is their academia.edu page, which has a lovely biography and two more brilliant articles available to read. Remember that orienting oneself with the author (who wrote it? for what reason?) aids in understanding their arguments. There is no one viewpoint of objectivity. Presented in audio is a reading of pages 1-11 of How to Go Mad Without Losing Your Mind. The full...

captioned live! we took one hour to read four paragraphs together. excerpt from: Conversations with Toni Cade Bambara, edited by Thabiti Lewis. I don’t usually save my lives because (1) that requires editing and I am already drowning in administrative work and (2) I enjoy existing in temporal space for only a moment in time, rather than being replayable and rewatchable and forwardable all the time. it’s a weird thing to watch happen to your personhood. but this one i found to be really lovely...

In which we engage the following theses: (1) the ruling class benefits from illiteracy. (2) short-form video entertains more than it sticks. (3) reading is a discipline distinct from listening, watching, or other forms of literacy. It’s a skill that needs to be honed separately. (4) Absolutely no one comes to save us but us. Full and accurate transcript available at ismatu.substack.com. Thank you for listening Jazz of the Episode: The Jordan River Song x Emahoy Tsege Mariam Gebru Lena’s Song...

internet friends, I am still burning alive. Today is February 10, 2024, which marks two years since my entrance into the social internet. This has been a terrifying, incredible, world-changing transition— maybe not (yet) for the world, but most certainly for my world. I did not have any social media previous to virality on my first TikTok video. Honestly? I viewed these spaces as nothing more than cannon fodder for the degradation of the mind and of any true, real, lasting community. I...

Threadings. and quite literally everything I do is free! I only can do this because people voluntarily pay! Wow! Thank you!!!! Transcription below because someone asked for the still words. Long time no see. Hi there. If you're new here, which if you're here, I doubt you're new. I mean, but just in case. My name is Ismatu. E-S-M-A-TU. I like E, S like S, not like Z. Not Ismatu, not Ismatu, Ease, like Easter egg. Ease-matu. One day. I will be an Ismaltu that other people can say, oh yeah,...

a letter to my daughter on the religion of revolution. Please lend your support to A Little Juju Podcast in their return! Juju Grant is a writer, ethnographer, show host and spiritual tower actively practicing wisdom anarchy. She so brilliantly archives African and Black Diasporatic Spiritual Traditions for free, and for the good of the people. donate here! or via Cashapp, Venmo, or PayPal. All are available in her link tree. I do not take sponsorships so that I can shine lights on my...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit ismatu.substack.com An essay from The Vault on how miraculously pain steals language. CW: mentions of self-harm.

The first essay of the Revolutionary Healers series. WHAT USE is "measured rationality" when to be Reasonable means to dying quietly, all the time? Notes from the text, “How to Go Mad Without Losing Your Mind.” Full transcript, with sources, at ismatu.substack.com. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ismatu.substack.com/subscribe

in which ismatu delivers a free-styled, spoken essay where they realize Grief as a seed blooming their bones. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ismatu.substack.com/subscribe

The primary goal of this essay is to argue for a healthy skepticism of sponsorship-saturated media amidst a new age in information sharing, with secondary goals as following: * to commit myself to The People and my people publicly by way of refusing to sell my word online, and * to name explicitly the ways refusing traditional sponsorship places me in a decent amount of precarity. * I’ma spoil the ending for you: I don’t want to run from precarity. Being unsteady forces me to lean on the...

Since y’all stay asking me for resource lists. The here, damn! of it all. Full list and links associated at ismatu.substack.com. happy reading!! jazz of the episode: Tony x Larry Nozero, Dennis Tini Souvenir d’Italie x Lelio Luttazzi He Knows She’s Good For You x Cyril Chambers Two For The Road x Eddie Daniels, Bucky Pizzarelli I Cover the Waterfront x Joe Pass Zen x Philippe Sarde, Toots Thielemans Message x Robohands City in the Sky x Elijah Fox This is a public episode. If you’d like...

In which Ismatu Gwendolyn, new to the healing profession and rooting in revolutionary thought and action, provides structure for their studies in public. As my Auntie Dequi says, “Struggle is protracted.” What we are not about to do is sit up here and study five things for five seconds. And I’m guilty of this! I constantly fight the desire to be fresh and topical and marketable. I want to be widely received and widely appreciated. Of course I do. In the past, I have moved quickly though...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit ismatu.substack.com sharing an old piece of creative writing because I, a mountain dweller, am stuck in the city and think of the sea. Originally written June of 2018

In which we: unpack the “is she mad?” mentality, contemplate informed consent for a podcast space, and be explicit about the care infrastructure and needs of Ismatu Gwendolyn. Thanks for listening Read the full transcription, annotated, at ismatu.substack.com. Jazz of the Episode: My One and Only Love x John Coltrane, Johnny Hartman Say It (Over and Over Again) x John Coltrane Quartet Manhattan x Blossom Dearie I’ll Never Smile Again x Sarah Vaughan Footsteps In The Dark x The Isley...

notes on refusing to charge for client services. Cited: In Pursuit of Revolutionary Love by Joy James | Oshun’s Flight Cliff notes: stop asking me to settle for manna when the opportunity for community arises. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ismatu.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit ismatu.substack.com [The Preview]: Oh, then in regards to mutual aid, I keep faltering with this series because I can't, like… I think I need to find a balance between what I wanna talk about and what I feel like the public needs. Because I keep curriculum planning and then realizing we are way behind as a public where I thought we were when it comes to understanding the importance of mutual aid and what it does. I really wanted...