Episodes
#193: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres discuss the theory and science behind reframing, which is a foundational skill of OptimalWork. Reframing is essential to personal growth and overcoming challenges. But it goes beyond many of the techniques espoused by “self-help experts.” It is not just about positive thinking or building habits, but about discovering the meaningful opportunities for growth hidden within the challenges you face. This episode summarizes the theory and science...
Published 04/29/24
Published 04/29/24
#192: Automaticity, while beneficial in some ways, can also be a danger if it makes everyday actions become rote. Treating each moment of a task as unique allows for growth, meaning, and mastery. One way to do this is frequently setting growth goals to stretch yourself in how you do things. The second half of the episode covers the Reframer tool on OptimalWork.com. The Reframer takes you through a number of steps to set a growth goal that will help you reframe a present challenge from a...
Published 04/22/24
#191: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres review the book “The Anxious Generation” by Jonathan Haidt. “The Anxious Generation” attributes the skyrocketing levels of anxiety among youth, particularly Gen Z, in large part to the widespread use of smartphones and social media. The negative effects of smartphones include social disconnection, sleep deprivation, attentional problems, and addiction. Haidt recommends dramatically restricting kids’ access to the “virtual world,” while also...
Published 04/15/24
#190: In her recent best-seller “Bad Therapy,” Abigail Shrier argues that therapy for children causes more problems than it solves. Shrier critiques the approach many therapists take as based on a flawed understanding of human nature, and she also draws attention to data suggesting that modern therapy is not stopping the increase in rates of anxiety, depression, etc. and may even be increasing them. In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres explore Shrier’s work, arguing that while much...
Published 04/08/24
One of the least-discussed emotions may be the most powerful in bringing about well-being. When was the last time you were filled with awe? People may think of awe as a nice-to-have emotion, but not needed for living a good life. Recent research, however, suggests that awe may be essential to true thriving. Find more at https://OptimalWork.com
Published 04/01/24
#188: It can be tempting to fit people into our categories: we think things like, “she’s sanguine,” “he’s not good at math,” “she’s shy,” “he’s melancholic.” We may even convince ourselves that these labels help us people as they want to or ought to be treated. But taken too far, labels prevent us from forming meaningful relationships with people. They can limit what we say or do, leading us to avoid certain topics of conversation or shared activities, and sometimes even introduce fear into...
Published 03/25/24
#187: The brain’s models and predictions play a central role in the vicious cycles that drive procrastination, dread, and anxiety. When your brain assess a challenge as a threat, often it’s predicting some pain, or shame and sounds the alarm to get you to avoid it. To reverse these vicious cycles and transform them into virtuous ones, we need to shape our brain’s predictions, de-fusing from our models, opening up to reality, and asking: How can this bring out my best? What would a new and...
Published 03/18/24
#186: Why do we sometimes feel like we're at war with ourselves? In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres dive into a therapy approach called Internal Family Systems (IFS), exploring how our mind has various parts — protectors and exiles — which are sometimes in conflict. Approaching these parts with curiosity and compassion paves the way to resilience and growth. IFS offers value tools for everyday life and self-therapy. This discussion is geared toward empowering you to apply these...
Published 03/11/24
#185: What motivates you to get up in the morning? What motivates you to continue working on a challenging task? Learning how to motivate yourself is essential to true success, but so many people are motivated by a fear of failure, that is, by shame. In this episode, we discuss the relationship between shame and motivation, how to tap into deeper sources of motivation, and how to overcome shame using techniques from Internal Family Systems (IFS). In our next episode, we’ll discuss more...
Published 03/04/24
Negative feedback is a part of life. It’s also essential in helping us identify our biggest opportunities for growth. In this episode, we discuss how to give and receive negative feedback and the role it plays in the social dimension of growth. Find more at https://www.OptimalWork.com.
Published 02/26/24
#183: Overcoming anxiety occurs in three successive stages. In the third and final installment of a three episode series, we discuss stage three: using adrenaline to achieve maximal growth. Stage one, bronze-work, centers on challenging yourself by engaging triggers head-on, and it has the effect of habituating the fear associated with that particular trigger. Stage two, silver-work, centers on being mindful of the alarm as it’s sounding, and it helps you accept the discomfort associated with...
Published 02/19/24
#182: Overcoming anxiety occurs in three successive stages. In the second installment of a three episode series, we discuss stage two: using mindfulness to experience the alarm of anxiety. When you focus on the alarm of anxiety, rather than the trigger only, the learning generalizes to all triggers. It also flips the feeling of fear into one of daring, an eagerness to approach the trigger. This sets the stage for you to use your anxiety and adrenaline to achieve peak performance, which is the...
Published 02/12/24
#181: Overcoming anxiety occurs in three successive stages. In this first installment of a three episode series, we discuss stage one: confronting the trigger of anxiety head-on, embracing the fear. Over time, the trigger will habituate; as you challenge yourself, the fear you experience will gradually diminish. You can then develop a sense of daring, which is the beginning of the second stage, the topic of next week’s episode. Find more at https://OptimalWork.com
Published 02/05/24
#180: When a child does something wrong, your first instinct may be justice: to punish them. In this episode, we discuss “No-Drama Discipline,” by Daniel Siegal and Tina Bryson, exploring how to discipline children in a way that builds your bond with them and promotes their moral development. By connecting with your child, helping him or her gain insight into what went wrong, and look for ways to repair and reintegrate, discipline becomes a way of actually deepening your bond with them,...
Published 01/29/24
#179: Difficult situations can feel intolerable. That intolerable feeling is produced by dynorphins and it makes us want to give up and abandon the difficulty we’re facing, whether it’s exercise, a difficult task, time in the sauna, or some small annoyance. But the more we embrace the dynorphin effect — the intolerable feeling — the more we develop a kind of inner strength. And, paradoxically, we end up unleashing a subsequent wave of endorphins, which cause feelings of wellbeing and improved...
Published 01/22/24
#178: What do you do when you feel tired? Go back to sleep? Take a nap? Power through? In this episode, we discuss a number of approaches to overcoming tiredness, from tracking your levels of fatigue (not recommended) to changing up your diet. But the ultimate approach draws on all the principles of OptimalWork and will actually help you harness tiredness for increased energy! Find more at https://OptimalWork.com
Published 01/15/24
#177: The goal of OptimalWork is to help people challenge themselves according to their highest ideals in each task. In this episode, we dive deeper into this core concept, showing how challenge is the surest path to growth. Find more at ⁠https://www.OptimalWork.com⁠.
Published 01/08/24
#176: Whenever we do something repeatedly, we’ll tend eventually to do it in a rote, automatic way. This even applies to OptimalWork’s core practices: reframing, mindfulness, and challenge. In this episode we show how curiosity can help you overcome this tendency and bring a sense of newness to every challenge you face. Find more at https://OptimalWork.com
Published 01/01/24
#175: Whether we’re aware of it or not, we’re always broadcasting our own inner experience. By shaping our actions according to our ideals, we forget about ourselves and create a positive tone around us. In this episode, we’ll show you psychological strategies for how to do this. Find more at https://www.OptimalWork.com.
Published 12/25/23
#174: Mindfulness lies at the heart of OptimalWork’s approach. Living your highest ideals means being fully present, fully engaged with reality. Cultivating this habit is the work of mindfulness. But mindfulness rests on a set of apparent contradictions. Foremost among them is this: while mindfulness involves accepting reality as it is, it is often used as a way of achieving personal or behavioral change. In this episode, we discuss this apparent paradox and others, shedding light on the true...
Published 12/18/23
#173: The two fundamental ways you can relate to challenge are approach and avoidance. Typically, approach leads to a virtuous cycle: the challenge gets easier and more enjoyable over time as you grow in mastery. Avoidance, on the other hand, often leads to a vicious cycle of increasing difficulty and pain. In this episode we further break down approach into three levels — tolerating, accepting, and loving the challenge — to show how to speed up the virtuous cycle and maximize your growth in...
Published 12/11/23
#172: Many people think that they and others work best under extreme external pressure: impending deadlines, demanding bosses, etc. In this rebroadcast, Dr. Kevin Majeres and Sharif Younes discuss better ways to achieve intensity. Find more at ⁠https://www.OptimalWork.com⁠.
Published 12/04/23
#171: Have you ever worked with great intensity and lost track of time, only to realize later that it was all a waste? You had fallen for the trap of hyperfocus.In this episode, we’ll distinguish between hyperfocus and true flow, and show you how to always attain the latter. Find more at https://www.OptimalWork.com.
Published 11/27/23
#170: With rising rates of anxiety and depression, some have suggested that managers be trained to provide “mental-health first aid” to employees in distress. In this episode, we discuss the best ways managers can help employees thrive at work, how to help them grow, and how to balance the need to get results from their teams with the ideal of supporting and mentoring them. Find more at https://OptimalWork.com
Published 11/20/23