In this week's episode we chat to Alix.  Alix is an eldest daughter, a mother to a 4-year-old daughter, a clinical psychologist, and a recovering ‘good girl’. Through both her post-graduate training and clinical experience, and her own lived experiences of being parented and raised in the pursuit of perfect, Alix has become intimately acquainted with the notion of "the good child” and how this presents in the mothering experience. Alix’s own introduction to motherhood was fraught, with her mother dying of bladder cancer when her daughter was 8 weeks old. Layering the gravity of this grief and loss onto Alix’ in built system of functioning – to be and do everything to the highest of standards, to make achieving look easy, and to self-sacrifice at all costs – created the perfect storm and resulted in what Alix would come to know was severe postnatal depression. Faced with an unsettled baby (acutely perceptive to the emotional environment around her, screaming and wailing for a whole family in mourning and out of their depth), who found sleep extremely difficult, so much about the experience of early motherhood felt like a terrifying failure. Alix has lived and breathed the pressures of breaking down the ‘good girl’ image to be a real girl, and to have the opportunity to try and parent the baby in front of her – not the perfect baby, but her baby. Through her work in two independent private high schools in Brisbane, Alix also has experience in how the pressures and expectations that may accompany mothering, with being a female in our society, and with being parented in a certain way, can culminate to influence a child’s experience of the education system and their development into adolescence. She has fought hard to bring awareness and support regarding perfectionism, self-care, and self-compassion into schools, and this has been well received by staff, students and families alike. Most recently, Alix has instigated the concept of Wellness Groups for high school students, to provide increasingly normalised support for adolescents going through similar psychological challenges (e.g. anxiety, low mood, interpersonal relationships, self-care struggles), and to try to offer some alternative pathways to psychological stability and a solid sense of self, without reliance on performance, outcomes and achievements. Alix completed her Bachelor of Psychological Science with First Class Honours in 2007, receiving a University Medal and topping her Honours Year. In 2012, Alix graduated from a Doctor of Psychology (Clinical), and has 10 years of clinical experience as a psychologist. Despite all of this, she’s a real woman, struggling in her own way, and embracing the rebel within to be vulnerable and re-parent herself, in the hopes that this will benefit not only her own life, but that of her daughter and clients too. Throughout this episode, Alix applies both her professional and personal experience to the topic of the "good baby." We discuss how and why society expects baby's to be quiet, compliant and make parent's lives easier, how these expectations grow and change as babies age and what we can do to free ourselves (and our children) from these constraints.  ---  This week's episode is sponsored by Chronicles of Play.  Head to their website: https://www.chroniclesofplay.com.au/ To purchase  copy of 365 Ways To Play: https://www.chroniclesofplay.com.au/product-page/365-ways-to-play-book Instagram: @chroniclesofplay --- Connect with us on Instagram: @matrescence.podcast  Head to our website: www.birthofamother.com.au