,Content warning: Death, miscarriage, domestic violence  In this week’s episode we chat to mum of 3 and death doula, Amanda.  Amanda became a mum earlier in life than expected. While she breezed through conception and pregnancy, Amanda’s first birth was not what she had planned for, hoped for, or expected. Despite wanting a natural birth, Amanda agreed to have her first birth induced. After 17 long hours of back to back contractions, she was taken for an emergency c-section. She gave birth to a beautiful, healthy and hungry 5.5kg baby boy. Amanda was unable to breastfeed and switched to formula early on. She recalls feeling judged (both by herself and others) for this decision. These unexpected challenges rocked Amanda’s confidence and shaped her early motherhood experience.  After multiple losses, another 2 c-sections (including one very healing one) postnatal depression and more, Amanda’s family was finally complete with three beautiful boys.  Around this time, Amanda made the decision to leave her toxic relationship and move closer to her village. For a short while, she relished in having the constant physical and emotional support of her parents, however shortly after her dad was diagnosed with liver cancer and died within a month leaving a gaping hole.   Amanda soon came face to face with death again, when her mother was diagnosed with uterine cancer. While devastated by this news, their family felt more empowered in their approach to end of life this time. She spent the last 9 months of her mum's life straddling the roles of “good mother” and “good daughter.” She shares with us some of the challenges of trying to solo parent her three children, while also providing support to her parents during this incredibly challenging time.   Amanda shares with us how they were able to center her mother's needs, utilize their village and weave ritual into her mother's eventual passing.   In a cruel twist of events, Amanda did not have time to process her mother’s death, as 6 short weeks later she was diagnosed with breast cancer. As a single mum, sole breadwinner and still adapting both emotionally and logistically to life without her parents, Amanda recalls spending the 36 hours after her diagnosis awake trying to understand what would happen to her boys, if she was to pass away. The next few years were filled with scans, surgeries, radiation and more, but as a family unit they made it through and today Amanda is proudly and gratefully, in remission.   These experiences, have led Amanda to the work she does now as a death doula. Today, Amanda works for not-for-profit “Violet,” providing free information and support to families navigating the last stage of life, as well as the grief and loss that accompanies it.   Throughout the episode Amanda shares her wisdom for navigating death when you have young children including; How to talk to kids about death in a way that is both honest and age appropriate, how to talk to aging parent's about their wishes for end of life, how to weave ritual and choice into death, why you would hire a death doula and so much more.   To connect with Amanda:  @amicusmortisdoula ---  This episode is sponsored by Together Pregnancy and Postpartum   To connect with them on Instagram: @together.perinatal   To listen to her podcast "Postpartum like a boss," or book a session with Gemma, or access any of her other offerings: https://togetherpnp.com.au/  ---  Connect with us on Instagram: @Matrescence.podcast   Or head to out website: www.birthofamother.com.au