Either Winx runs in the Melbourne Cup or Sports Minister Shotgun McKenzie must cancel the race. That’s the big call this week from Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson who also demand an auction live on every free-to-air TV station to win the once-in-a-lifetime-chance to ride the champion in the race that stops the world. (Hint: you’ll need deep pockets; Roy hears horse loving Saudi princes are willing to bid $150 billion for the honour.) In tragic news, HG reveals Roy has turned down Cricket Australia’s offer to take over as chairman following David Peever’s axing but in good news, Shane Warne says he’s up for a Larry King-style TV talk show to unlock what makes successful people successful. More good news is the Wallaby’s new alliance with the Australian Army: (Discuss: “Is there an advantage to have rugby players who can take out a machine gun nest?”) There are details on how anyone – big or small - can get a job in the racing industry with a little help from Elle McPherson and tips on how to get fit using Roy and HG’s TV ad-break-training technique. That’s just a taste of what the world’s greatest broadcasters unpack in this week’s The Sporting Probe – the show for elite Australians who are not scared of winning – so saddle up probesters, patriots, pilgrims and punters and start winning.