Have you ever opened up to someone, only to have your vulnerability used against you? In this episode of Waking Up to Narcissism, we introduce the concept of the “attack surface”—that uncomfortable dynamic where emotionally immature or narcissistic partners turn your honesty into their weapon of control. We’ll also explore how this need for control originates from emotional immaturity, dive into the origin story of our deep-seated fear of abandonment, and discuss practical ways to develop your emotional maturity. From separating observations from judgments to the 4 Points of Balance in differentiation, this episode offers tools to help you confront unresolved personal issues in relationships with integrity and create healthier, more connected interactions.Are you in the mental health profession and are curious about using AI (artificial intelligence) notes? Check out Berries, the notes Tony described in today's episode. Click here https://berries.icu/?code=4952 (https://igafnl.com/click?redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fberries.icu%2F%3Fcode%3D4952&dID=1727268659955&hashId=22b4405666b1958ec65dad9a9090847193a1ac3ebdae8557d1a08a8ed84ee86d87a658&linkName=https://berries.icu/?code=4952) Or use code Tony50 when you sign up to get $50 off your first month of Berries revolutionary AI, HIPPA-compliant mental health notes. If you are interested in seeing an example of a note, email tony at [email protected]:00 Introduction and Welcome00:18 Speaking Engagements and Personal Anecdotes03:13 The Concept of Attack Surface11:36 Real-Life Example: Alex and Taylor15:03 Understanding Emotional Immaturity22:39 Control as a Defense Mechanism26:57 Origins of Fear and Emotional Abandonment28:02 Example Scenario: Jamie and Sam29:09 Sam's Fear and Defensive Reactions31:00 The Impact of Emotional Immaturity38:21 Observations vs. Judgments42:08 Developing Emotional Maturity45:22 The Four Points of Balance49:55 Confronting Personal Issues with IntegrityIf you are interested in joining Tony's private Facebook group for women in narcissistic or emotionally immature relationships of any type, please reach out to him at [email protected] or through the form on the website, HTTP://www.tonyoverbay.comIf you are a man interested in joining Tony's "Emotional Architects" group to learn how to better navigate your relationship with a narcissistic or emotionally immature partner or learn how to become more emotionally mature yourself, please reach out to Tony at [email protected] or through the form on the website, HTTP:www.tonyoverbay.com