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“Episode # 38 Dr Tony - he never showed up & I didn’t know - you do t know what you do t know……Ugh! 26 years & I’m - in a covert , malignant , insidious , narc marriage w/ a man that has high manipulative traits who plays the victim when it’s convenient.
Yup , he was gone for 5 full days , no words, no texts , no calls, no itinerary given to me from him. Never communicated in pics, & upon his return he ignores me & unpacks & simultaneously blame shifted & said I’m the reason he ghosted me. He left his bmw @ a strange female’s house in a town near his beach vacation destination he ends up telling me and when I ask a week later he does not recall I know this nor my call & has to check his call history to see I talked to him- { I’m screaming internally .} First he said the BMW was a friends house the night before, I overheard something when he was in a call however he was unaware I heard this info . On the Wk day he was leaving I was @ the gym I happened to call to say safe travels & he was acting so strange ; actually giddy child. That’s when he said I’m at a women’s house without details waiting . He said he was waiting for a ride to a restaurant, and waiting to hear from a female cousin @ 11:00am on a Thursday. He says my cousin will be late she is working still - & I reply “what? “ Nothing is making sense! So confusing & the story is shaping up with mistruths I think . I say goodbye & hang up. I couldn’t believe it! All this stuff occurring is just vague at best and I only have unknowns.
He was going on a 6 day vacation w/cousins in a rented house at a beach town . I was gray rocking @ home for good reason due to severe financial abuse, betrayal, and lies by omission by him who still takes no accountability involving tax our joint multi state tax returns. He isn’t ever accountable; I found out about the financial horror show actions by asking on tax filing day where are the returns???. Very bad story involving finances & more. So, back to the beach story & I’m gray rocking : he leaves to this beach extended vacation, giddy like a little kid; i know he’ll get new supply . So odd no car for 6 days - he used Uber he says. When he returns home he walks into house says nothing to
me , I’ve never heard details about this vacation to date. In addition, I say to him how could you do this to me? Of course he says “do what?”You aren’t talking to me, so to me I didn’t think to tell you about my vacation itinerary etc… The challenge is that he obviously is emotionally immature but he just does this stuff . For example like on a Sunday night @ 7:30p he leaves & eats dinner @ a local restaurant alone. Who does this kind of thing? I can’t employ any consequences and he does not recognize or abide by my boundaries. I’m mean he has had 26 years of intentional destruction regarding me with all the narc terms & narc categories.
He is impossible, this all is impossible, -
Giving No benefits of the doubt!
I don’t want tension !
I’m trauma bonded by him for 26 years & trauma bonded by his mother simultaneously as he enabled it for first 12 years of our marriage. Then allowed her to continue to burden our union as she aged & he controlled her finances & personal life & I was a observer to this too. There is so much more!”
solomonsebastian via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
08/24/22
More reviews of Waking Up to Narcissism
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“Wow! I’m so glad I found this podcast. The second episode talking about children’s behavior was one of the more impactful things I have listened to as a parent.”
boardin via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
09/19/21
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“This resource is so amazing”
Shimmeystan via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
08/06/22
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“To have someone put into words what I’ve been dealing with for so long has been painful and amazing at the same time.”
McCarterTn via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
10/04/21
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