Welcome to episode 2 of Series 9 (Series 9 will be released sporadically). Should We Move? This has always been a question I've been asked a lot via my Guardian column (and in real life) but after the pandemic it was a question that reached, dare I say it, epidemic proportions. It's a simple enough question but the reasoning behind it can really tell us a lot about ourselves. Many people move to get away from problems, not realising that the problems go with them. This is why a few well...

I'd been wanting to do this podcast for a while. Professor Alessandra Lemma is one of the most experienced, and insightful, specialists I work with. Every word she shares is a gem. But Pr Lemma's diary is packed and so this took a while to organise. I hope you think it was worth it. The idea for this episode - the first in Series 9 - came to me last year but in reality, it had probably been bubbling away for some years. Alessandra and I were working on a problem for my Guardian column. The...

This is the last episode, episode six, in Series 8 and in it I talk to UKCP registered family and systemic psychotherapist and John Cavanagh who is also a registered mental health nurse. John specialises in child and adolescent mental health. Often children will manifest with a mental health problem that is indicative of what's going on in the family. We talk about this, what those problems might look like, why it's important to treat children as part of the family unit. John also talks us...

Very early on in my career as The Guardian's Agony Aunt the letters started coming in about family estrangements - the "should I cut X out of my life" style questions. Back then, cutting a family member out was anathema to me but over the years, i came to understand why some people sought it out. The thing is, cutting someone out is rarely the end of the problem. Sometimes it's only the beginning. In this episode I talk to long-time conversationalist psychotherapist Chris Mills about why some...

What is attachment and how does attachment theory different from the primary real-life attachment we learnt as babies? The two often get confused. In this episode I talk to child, adolescent and adult psychotherapist Dr Graham Music who has been described as "one of the most deep thinking child psychotherapists in the world." We talk about these differences, plus the concept of attachment which is how secure we feel with our primary care given and how our needs were met, and the impact that...

Forensic psychotherapy is psychotherapy with people who have committed criminal offences. In this episode I talk with clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr Stephen Blumenthal who is registered with the British Psychoanalytic Council and has over thirty years experience in treating people. Stephen started his professional life as a clinical psychologist in a secure unit with offenders. Stephen has also written a couple of books on forensic psychotherapy, the latest of which is called...

Did you know that procrastination, risky behaviour, blaming others and even infidelity may be a sign of self-sabotage? There are a host of other symptoms, too. In this, episode 2 or Series 8, I discuss with psychotherapist Ryan Bennett-Clarke why we might self sabotage, what it tells us about ourselves and of course, what we can do about it. If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri If you'd like to...

Welcome to series 8 of Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri.  This episode was Professor Lucy Easthope's idea as it’s something she really wanted to talk about and I’m honoured she has trusted me with this delicate subject. In this episode Lucy talks openly about her very personal five baby losses by miscarriage. Lucy is Professor of Practice of Risk and Hazard at the University of Durham and a Professor in Mass Fatalities at the University of Bath. She studied law at university and has a...

This is the final episode in Series 7. It's about birth trauma and I speak with journalist, author and CEO of The BTA, Kim Thomas. We talk about what birth trauma is, what can cause it (we do not go into graphic detail), how it can manifest and how to get help. We discuss the difference between Post Natal Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder brought on by birth trauma. We also discuss the impact of birth trauma on birthing partners. Some organisations we talk about in the...

Interviewing Ryan Bennett-Clarke for my Guardian column - about something else entirely - we got talking about envy. And what he had to say fair blew my mind. What is envy? How does it differ from jealously? Where does it come from and how does it manifest? If you've ever left a person feeling like little bits of you have been taken away, well envy may be the answer. We talk about how envy feels, why people get jealous or envious, how it's on the rise with social media; and we also talk about...

Although unresolved grief can hit us at any stage in our lives, this episode specifically talks about childhood bereavement and the impact it can have on adulthood. My guest is UKCP and BACP registered psychotherapist and researcher Mandy Gosling who, as we shall hear, has personal experience of early bereavement. An early bereavement can lodge - if not processed - and be carried into adult hood, manifesting as inability to hold down jobs or relationships, feelings of loneliness or depression...

Dr Stephen Blumenthal returns (catch him in Series 2 talking about Intimacy and Trust in Series 5) and this time we're talking about shame. What it is, how it differs to humiliation and embarrassment or even guilt. Shame can make people act differently - either because they are avoiding shame or trying to cover up the shame they already feel. Where does shame come from? And why is some shame useful to society? If you’d like to learn more about Dr Blumenthal and his work you can do so at...

Professor Lucy Easthope is a UK expert and advisor on emergency planning and disaster recover. A world authority on recovery and disaster planning and its aftermath. She’s Professor of Practice of Risk and Hazard at the university of Durham and a professor in Mass Fatalities at the university of Bath. Lucy studied law at university and has a masters in disaster management and a pHD in medicine. In 2022 Lucy published a best selling book that talks a lot about her work and a little about her...

Where to die? Not everyone gets that choice but you or a loved one might and that choice may be to go home from a hospice or hospital or care home, or go into one. In this sensitively handled but hugely informative episode, I talk again to Dr Kathryn Mannix, palliative care doctor and author of two excellent books: With the End in Mind and Listen. We talk about what to think about: care, equipment, environment, all things that need to be carefully considered and weighed up. When my own mother...

Not what makes a relationship real vs fantasy or made up, but the nubbins of relationships, the reality. Many people seem unprepared for what a real relationship looks and feels like, and this might be because of how they are portrayed on TV and on social media where many times it's only the polar opposites which are show: either people talking about how fantastic their relationship is or how terrible. Real relationships are quite ordinary. But what should they be like? Is it okay to argue?...

The in-laws, long the butt of jokes but in reality rich fodder for my Guardian mail bag. Of course, none of us think of ourselves as troublesome in-laws, but maybe we are? In this episode I talk to psychotherapist and CEO of the association for family therapy and systemic practise. Hannah has been a family and couples psychotherapist who has worked in the mental health service for thirty years. She’s also an associate professor at the university of exeter and deputy director of a clinical...

Talking about suicide is never easy, yet it's essential. In this difficult episode both Dr Stubley and I bring personal experiences to the conversation in the hope that it might facilitate your own conversations. Dr Jo Stubley is a consultant psychiatrist in psychotherapy and leads the adult section of the trauma service at the NHS Tavistock Centre. Jo is a member of the British Psychoanalytic Society. Regular listeners will recognise that Jo is a returning conversationalist - this is our...

Why do some people find it so hard to talk about money? And whilst it's not a romantic thing to bring up it's absolutely essential if you're thinking of buying a property with someone or moving in with someone. As Chris says if it's difficult to bring up at the beginning of the relationship it's a whole lot harder to bring up at the end when things may have gone wrong. A lot of the letters I get at the Guardian are about Wills and Will disputes and whilst it's about the money, Chris and I...

Sibs is a charity which supports children and adults who grow up with a brother or sister with additional needs or a long term health condition. And Linda Owen is the rather brilliant, compassionate and informed (aptly) Information Officer for Sibs. A lot of the advice Linda gives can also be applied in a family which doesn’t have a child with these additional needs, and there’s a lot to learn here about sibling dynamics. But of course when a child does have additional needs the sibling can...

Welcome to episode 1 of Series 6 A good few years ago, I started becoming aware of a term I'd hitherto not really heard much before, outside of my classics lessons: narcissism. Aside from all the s's making it hard to pronounce, I started to notice that it became a catch-all for anyone who was selfish, self centred or vain. Everyone, it seemed, was being called a narcissist. I'm not a fan of overly labelling behaviours (for one it's so lazy) and I have a natural tendency to avoid terms that...

A lot of people struggle with the toddler stage. Where have their lovely, compliant babies gone? I think it's got worse the later we leave parenthood and the more used we are to living in a world where we're (maybe) used to people doing as we ask. Toddlers don't give a damn about all that, and thank goodness. But it's not because they are difficult, they're growing, learning who they are, what the boundaries are and their brains are going through enormous growth. In this episode I talk to...

This is not a subject many of us discuss is it? Birth plans, maybe, weddings, definitely, but we will all die and we all need a send off, however small and modest. This episode isn't really about planning your own funeral, although it can be of course (but as we'll see, don't be too prescriptive) but it's more that this potentially distressing subject - a funeral is the ultimate distress purchase - is important. Why? A good funeral is the start of grieving, it can help people come together...

The way labour and birth is depicted on film and TV has bugged me for some years and, I think, does little to make women feel empowered. This episode isn't about how or where to give birth - that's your choice - but we do talk about what happens in an uncomplicated vaginal birth. Amy is the Lead Research Midwife in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the university of Cambridge, and study coordinator for the Pregnancy Outcome Prediction Study 2 (POPS2). She's previously worked as...

This is our first listener requested episode. "Joanne" (not her real name) asked us if we could do an episode on trust, after her husband had an affair. Although Joanne asked some specific questions ("how do I get the trust back/is it good to talk about it"), Dr Blumenthal and I discuss this but also what trust is at its core, beyond romantic relationships, what it means to trust, how do we trust, is it necessary to trust someone to love them, and how to get trust back when it's been lost. Dr...