Alternative title: Guys, I just wanted to fly whirlybirds :(   Alex and Natasha are a little late to this Royal shitshow,  but as Kesha says 'the party don't start 'till I walk in.' Listen as an Australian socialist and an Irish psychologist feel sympathy, horror, anti-colonialist rage, confusion over why rich people throw the worst fancy-dress parties, stress over the current state of democracy, and indignation that in a house with a hundred bedrooms, Harry still had to share with William....

Alternative title: The dolls are opiates. And sometimes meth. Claire and Alex (AKA Eve Dangerfield) are back to discuss the book Alex's mum tried to throw away in the late 2000s, Valley of the Dolls! Jacqueline Susann... really did something with this one. The girls trace Susann's insights into 1940s Hollywood which was full of pills, backstabbing, homophobic slurs in the workplace, and the realization that love is surely impossible but a certain amount of doctors will always have shady...

Alternative Title. Ah sure you know yourself. This month Alex tackles critically acclaimed Irish novelist Sally Rooney's critically acclaimed novel about a critically acclaimed Irish novelist who wishes people would lay off her critically acclaimed novels. It's a bit of a minefield. Luckily Alex came prepared, inviting Irish National and intellectual powerhouse Natasha back on the pod to dissect the myriad class issues, feminist issues, existensial issues and emails (?) that make up this...

Alternative title: What that spur do tho? This week Alex is joined by Kate from Romantically Inclined reviews AKA Romancelandia's hilarious meme queen. They discuss Ruby Dixon's Ice Barbarian series and many important questions are raised,  such as; Should you get so much plastic surgery you become a lizard man? Can Skye Warren voice the next Disney Princess? Why do people still think double-bagging condoms is a good idea?  Will Kate get rich and finance a screen version of the Ice...

Alternative title: Gibby gets fake cancer. Claire and Alex go back to the "lady scammers" well and draw up 'The Woman Who Fooled The World' by Beau Donelly and Nick Toscano. It's a deep dive into Belle Gibson, an influencer who pretended to have terminal brain cancer for attention and a cookbook deal. A&C rip into her as only two friends who've been in a lockdown for three weeks can. Along the way, Claire explains how late-night TV tricked her into believing The Secret was actual magic...

Alternative Title: Sandwiches of Unknown Origins. Grab your teabags and butter your crumpets, Claire and Alex go in on Daphne Du Maurier's classic 1938 novel, Rebecca! It's spooky! It's wordy! It's got the most mentions of scones per page in a single text! Among the topics up for debate are clumsy heroines, justifiable homicides, men named Giles, and the incest taboo (again, for some reason).  Alex dubs the nameless narrator 'Elsa' for convenience-TAKE THAT PLOT DEVICE! Claire doesn't let...

Alternative Title: I'm in love with a bag of blood   Claire and Alex have reunited to recap a story close to both of their hearts, Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer AKA The latest installment in the Twilight Series. As some OG Twilight...fans might be a bit generous...SCHOLARS, maybe? the girls are excited to jump in and cover all the hits- confederate Jasper, sleep staring, milk-based heroines, Edward's invisible fedora, the right to brain privacy and the million other Twilight controversies...

Alternative title: Mrs. Featherington, are you pestering the Duke? Alex bites down on her dislike of Regency romances (including Austen. Come fight her, unlike Elizabeth Bennett, she carries knuckle dusters*) and swallows a chunk of Bridgerton, the duketastic sensation gripping the nation(s) AKA 'The Duke and I' by Julia Quinn. If you love all that stuff, never fear! Natasha is here to defend you with her lost family castles, desire to wear regency fashion despite the fact leggings exist,...

Alternative title: why have something happening, when could have boobs?We're back bitches! This week we dive into The Queen's Gambit by Walter Tevis,  a book written by a man in the 1970's that despite a stumbler of an opening line DOESN'T feature a...

Alternative title: Bring back Fanny! We want Fanny!This week on How Novel! the girls discuss the one place PC culture really has gone too far-revised copies of Enid Blyton's The Enchanted Wood in which literary simps changed Fanny's name to Frannie!But...

Alternative title: Hey, can I borrow $70,000? I'll wire it back tomorrow. I have the tracking number right here!Alex and Claire discuss Rachel William's book 'My Friend Anna.' An attempt to (cash in on) DISCUSS Anna Delvey, a Russian lass who scammed...

Alternative title: Have fun getting 'toss a coin to your witcher' out of your head. We sing it three times Join Alex and Claire for a round table discussion of The Witcher; the TV show, the Ps4 game, the novels of Andrzej Sapkowski, and the treelike acting of Henry Cavil AKA posh man-log. Lured by the promise of Taron Edgerton, Alex failed to get through the audio book version of The Sandman. She explains the deeply confusing experience of listening to 1988 Neil Gaiman pretend to know how...

Alternative Title: Book Medley!1. The Dutch House by Ann PatchettNOT about a haunted house. 2. Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens*shrek voice* GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!!!Claire guesses the mystery and ruins everything. 3. My Dark Vanessa by Kate...

Alternative title: This F*****g Guy. This week we read 'Too much and Never Enough; How My Family Created the World's Most Dangerous Man' by Mary Trump. Come for the lowdown on a book everyone is too Trump fatigued to read. Stay for the sighing,...

Alternative title: Little Karen's Everywhere. This week we read 'Little Fires Everywhere' by Celeste Ng and discuss why s****y people love using fake benevolence as nunchaku to bash in the heads of those who chose to live differently. Alex recounts a failed prank involving a bridge, six sham gmail accounts and a bag of cow bones. Claire confesses to spending upward of five hours a day on Tik Tok, an app for children. Our favourite episode to date!

Alternative title: Anthony Bourdain was old man fit. This week we read Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. Alex guides Claire in learning about and mourning Mr. Bourdain, whose book about getting mad high and cooking fancy came out in 2000 and stopped thousands, maybe millions of people ordering fish on Monday. Come for Bourdain's hilarious misadventures, stay for Alex and Claire's personal anecdotes about working in the world's shittiest restaurant; stealing their own tips and licking...

Alternative title: The Secret Seven: Seven Cheers for the Curse of Rock n' Roll! This week we're reading Reese Witherspoon endorsed, fake rock band biography 'Daisy Jones and the Six' by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Alex wonders what poor hack will get stuck writing the music for the TV adaption. Claire gets confused about what you'd mean if you said a person's eyes were 'cornflower blue' and cries again. Don't write a song about her. Caution: This episode includes stirring a capella versions of 'I...

Alternative title: 'Maybe you should Cry on a Podcast' We read 'Maybe You Should Talk to Someone' by Lori Gottlieb and that learn Claire really hates crocs and cries whenever you say the word 'cancer.' Alex ponders boomer embarrassment about therapy. Claire cries. Alex gets mad about how men are praised for being lazy because she wants to be praised for being lazy. Claire cries again. FUN TIMES ARE HAD BY ALL AND WE ALSO LEARN A LOT.

Alternative title: Fish Mishers Murder Mishteries. The flagship episode of the ultimate one-sided book club! We read Murder on a Midsummer Night by Kerry Greenwood. Alex ponders Miss Fisher's clear alcoholism and disdain for anyone who isn't a stone cold ten. Claire is deeply repulsed by all descriptions of food, clothing, art and twee magic. Is it too much to ask for a novel about BLACKBEARD'S PIRATE TREASURE! YARRRR, GIVE ME YOUR CHARTREUSE COCKTAILS AND SMALL CUPS OF CHILLED BOUILLON OR...