Week in and week out, we talk about thought work, processing your emotions, and adjusting the way you think about things in your relationship. This week, we are going to talk about situations when you might not want to do the thought work! There are certain situations where you actually want to hold on to the way you think and feel, and just change the circumstance instead.  Work with...

Phew. I have been feeling so overwhelmed and sick of relationship content on social media these past few days (weeks) that I just needed to come on here and vent to you guys. If I'm feeling this way and I'm not even struggling in my relationship, I can just imagine how it must feel for you. You're at risk of getting whiplash from all the back-and-forth advice ranging from one extreme to the other. I hope you like this episode even though it wasn't 100% structured or planned out in advance....

Do you ever get into arguments with your partner about things they should or shouldn't be doing because you worry about what other people will think? Then this episode is for you. Without being fully aware of it, other people's opinions play a huge role in our relationships, what we are okay with, and what we argue about. And this fear of judgment is something that is a lot more present for women than men. Work with...

It's time to dive deep into relationship truths and assumptions operating in our subconscious minds. These truths were made up to create false safety and control in monogamous relationships, but what they're really doing is just fuelling your relationship anxiety. How many of these 7 "truths" do you subconsciously believe to be true? Work with me: https://www.katrinberndt.com/coaching Contact: https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt

Intrusive thoughts are the worst. They just pop up out of nowhere and ruin your mood completely. I know you've tried not to think about the thoughts when they pop up, I know you've tried to police your brain... it just doesn't work. In this week's episode, I share my take on the "problem" with "intrusive" thoughts and offer you an alternative solution that doesn't give all your power away to a neutral sentence in your mind. Work with...

Welcome to your worst nightmare. In this week's episode, we are going to walk through the experience of finding out your partner has been cheating on you and see what happens. A lot of girlfriends ruin their good relationships because of the fear they feel about getting lied to and cheated on. So what better way to stop fearing it than to put yourself in that situation and show your own brain that you are capable of handling it. Work with...

Christine is looking forward to a mid-week movie night with her love, Jack. But her brain has decided to put a halt to those plans. She starts getting grumpy and subconsciously chooses to run with it by gathering more and more evidence during the evening. Listen to this episode to learn how I would coach Christine through this situation and what I recommend that she do instead. This week, we are trying something new on the podcast. I have already shared this fictional coaching concept on my...

We're allowed to want things from our partners and relationships, and we can be sad if we don't get them. But we also shouldn't have a manual for our partners and base our emotions on what they do or don't do. What exactly is the difference? In this week's episode, we dive deeper into Wants vs. Manuals and define the key difference between two concepts that often come up here on the podcast. Enjoy! Work with...

Have you ever gotten upset about something in your relationship and later realized that it wasn't even a problem, to begin with? You're not alone. I myself had an experience just like this a few weeks ago. In this week's episode, I share the concept I call "fast forward and let it go", which helps you question if something is a problem or if it's just based on unrealistic assumptions and fantasies. Work with...

Do you ever wish that your gut would just tell you what to do? Do you ever put your life in the hands of “fate” rather than making a decision? Do you ever refer to something being a need and therefore out of your control rather than asking for what you want? Then you're a completely normal human being. But what is it about these things that make them so appealing? Why do we prefer to reference intuition or fate instead of simply owning that we are making a choice based on what we want?...

Are there certain things your partner wants or needs you to do, and if you don't do them correctly they get upset? Then chances are your partner has a manual for you. And the tricky part here is that if you think they shouldn't have a manual for you and you think their manual for you is making you annoyed and upset... well, then you have a manual right back at them. In this week's episode, I give you some suggestions on how to deal with your partner's manual for you and how you can stop...

What's your partner's job in your relationship? Is it to make you feel good? Keep you safe? Share all the daily chores? When we have a long job description for our partners, it makes it difficult for them to do everything right and thus making it difficult for us to be happy. We often judge the quality of our relationships based on our partner's ability to "do their job." In this week's episode, I want to offer you a new job description for your partner. This might be a little extreme for...

Are there things in your relationship you want your partner to want to do, but they're just not that into it? Maybe they are happy to do it just to make you happy, but that's not what you want. Ugh, so frustrating. In this week's episode, I break down the key reasons you want your partner to want to do the thing (hint: it's not what you think) and how to solve this problem. Because continuing to argue with reality and wanting your partner to be different just isn't cutting it. Work with...

"I have no reason to feel this way" is one of the most common sentences I hear from grumpy girlfriends all the time. We look at our partners and how they act and compare those circumstances to our thoughts and feelings... and get an error message. It just doesn't add up. In this week's episode, I break down what it means to have "no reason" for being worried, anxious, or jealous in your relationship.  I also walk you through how to manage these "unreasonable" fears. Work with...

What if we could boil down girlfriend happiness to three key choices you need to make on a daily basis? That's what I did in this week's episode. If you make these choices consistently and you practice genuinely believing in them, you will be able to finally enjoy your good relationship. Schedule Consultation: https://www.katrinberndt.com/ Contact: https://www.katrinberndt.com/ https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt

Are you struggling to let go of and move on from your partner's ex? You're not alone. The ex-issue is an extremely common source of grumpiness for a lot of girlfriends and in today's episode, I'll break it down for you. You might think that your unique ex-cocktail of information is the worst-case scenario and that other people have it much easier. But trust me, you can freak out about literally any circumstances and facts about your partner and their exes. So perhaps, it's not the facts of...

Have you ever thought that you need to be grumpy, negative, and rude towards other females in your partner's life just to not give your partner any ideas? That perhaps, if you were to be kind, open, and positive you would be giving your partner the green light to "go for it"? Most of us don't consciously think this way, but it's an underlying belief that often results in us seeing other women as a threat that we need to deal with by being mad at them. In this week's episode, I break down...

Social media is full of s****y relationship advice that usually just perpetuates the anxiety, jealousy, insecurity, and confusion that grumpy girlfriends struggle with. When you're not 100% happy in your relationship, most advice is simply to "dump them", but for those of us who realize that we are the cause of our unhappiness and not our partners... well, that advice doesn't help much. In this week's episode, I debunk some common, s****y relationship advice and expectations that fuel your...

Do you easily get resentful or upset when your partner is spending time with friends or on hobbies they enjoy? Do you feel lonely and attribute that to your partner not spending enough time with you? Then you might be guilty of blaming your partner for your boring, unfulfilling life. In this week's episode, I talk about how you being dissatisfied with certain areas of your life can easily rub off on your relationship and you can start creating problems where there are none, just so you don't...

This week, we are joined by my former client Katharina who came to me 9 months ago and wanted help processing her emotions and gaining clarity surrounding a pending open relationship with her boyfriend. In this conversation, we dive into the changes she has made, what she has learned through coaching, and her take on processing emotions and why it matters. If you want to come in contact with Katharina to ask questions or ask for advice, just send me an email at [email protected] and I...

It's time to revisit the topic from episode 12, which is your capacity to have. This time I want to talk about it from a jealousy perspective and how our limited capacity to have actually increases our jealousy and makes it a lot harder to overcome it. If you've ever thought that "everything being fine" is too good and too easy to be true, this is the episode for you. Enjoy! Schedule...

I have a special treat for you this week! Tune in to hear the story about my former client Allison Anderson who went from being a grumpy girlfriend herself, struggling with her partner's drinking habits, to becoming a certified life and relationship coach! We talk about the before and after, what it took to make these changes, the power of passing through neutral on your way to making a change... and so much more. Enjoy! Check out Allison...

Okay, so you know you're supposed to process and allow the emotion when it enters your body so you don't freak out and take it out on your partner... But how the heck do you process the horrible feeling of jealousy in your body without your partner noticing something is wrong? In this episode, I explain to you why this question might be rooted in some problematic assumptions and beliefs but also how to actually do it. You'll get to listen in on what my inner monologue usually sounds like...

In this episode, I share the most common mistake that my girlfriend clients make when they first start working with me. This progress hack is also something you can practice on your own when coaching yourself. You'll never be able to guess what it is! Schedule Consultation: https://www.katrinberndt.com/girlfriend Contact: https://www.katrinberndt.com/ https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt

Our human brains have a habit of labeling things as good or bad, right or wrong, great or stupid. This is a very useful feature in a lot of situations, but when it comes to personal development, it can often get in the way of the progress we want to make. This week's episode talks about non-judgmental observation and why it's the key to making significant changes in your life and relationship. Can you observe and watch what is happening inside of you without labeling it as good or bad? Join...