Non-anxious leaders know how to take a healthy stand with those who make them anxious. Understanding non-violent communication can help. Show Notes: Cup of Empathy - Marianne van Dijk Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Emotional intelligence and self-differentiation go hand-in-hand. Here are six ways EQ can help you be a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: 6 Super Effective Ways to Show Your Emotional Intelligence at Work by Marcel Schwantes Episode 122: How Emotional Intelligence Helps You to Be a Non-Anxious Presence (Part 1 of 2) Episode 123: How Emotional Intelligence Helps You to Be a Non-Anxious Presence (Part 2 of 2) Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my...

Learning to self-differentiate in anxious situations doesn't come naturally. Understanding the science of performing under pressure can help. Show Notes: Thinking About the Consequences in the Moment of Decision from Admired Leadership Field Notes The science of performing under pressure with Sian Beilock from the Re-Thinking Podcast with Adam Grant The Science of Choking Under Pressure by Alyson Meister and Maude Lavanchy Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website....

When we diagnose others, we avoid taking responsibility for self. Here's what that looks like and how we can do things better. Show Notes: Here's What Happens When We Stop Diagnosing Each Other by Kathleen Smith Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Many leaders who want to make an impact are people pleasers. Yet, this leads to over commitment and overwhelm. Here's how to stop. Show Notes: Cup of Empathy - Marianne van Dijk Podcast Episode 230: How to Say "No" as a Non-Anxious Presence Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Non-anxious leaders have a confidence that is based in knowing their goals and values, as well as embracing humility, curiousity and courage. This is both attractive and influential. Here’s how it works. Show Notes: 5 habits of confident people by Stephanie Vozza Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Complaining is not helpful to you or those you lead. Here's how to stop. Show Notes: The Happy Way to Drop Your Grievances by Arthur C. Brooks Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

This episode explores why parents are so annoying to their children from a family systems standpoint. Understanding how to do things differently will make you a better parent and leader. Show Notes: What makes parents so annoying, even to their middle-aged children? by Carolyn Hax Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter. --- Send in a voice message:...

Patrick Lencioni's book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, helps you understand what makes for ineffective and effective teams. This episode tells you what you can do about it. Show Notes: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

We use psychological avoidance to manage anxiety, yet it actually makes things worse. Here's how to recognize it and address it. Show Notes: Avoidance, not anxiety, may be sabotaging your life by Luana Marques Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Taking responsibility for self means not making assumptions about others are thinking. Here's what that looks like and how to do things differently. Show Notes: How Anxiety Distorts Your To-Do List by Kathleen Smith Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Self-differentiation is complicated. My own experience with my mother illustrates this. Show Notes: Hiroshima survivor tells her story as G7 world leaders meet in the Japanese city - CBS News --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Knowing the characteristics of a chronically anxious system, as well as the principles of leadership through self-differentiation makes all the difference. Show Notes: ⁠A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix⁠ by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠⁠Two for Tuesday⁠⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Edwin Friedman's last book, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, challenges us to lead differently. Here's how. Show Notes: A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions. I AM a fan of getting better each year. Here's why and what has helped me. Show Notes: Get a FREE copy of One New Habit, One Big Goal: Change Your Life in 10 Weeks. Get information and register for the FREE Friedman's Failure of Nerve Book Study. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Overfunctioning and Underfunctioning go hand in hand. Here's what that looks like, as well as how you can find the sweet spot that creates healthy emotional space. Show Notes: Find out about Friedman's Failure of Nerve, a free course for non-anxious leaders. There will be no episode on Christmas Day. The next episode will drop on January 1, 2024. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice...

Leadership and social norms are the two most important factors in organizational culture. Here's what you can do to improve yours. Show Notes: How to Fix a Toxic Culture (mit.edu) Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Guilt is not necessarily a bad thing. Knowing when it is or isn't can help you better self-differentiate. Show Notes: About Guilt - Emotional Intelligence for Life (ei-forlife.com) by Miriam Bross Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Seventy-six percent of people nearing the end of their lives say their biggest regret was living their lives according to other people and their expectations. This is surrounding togetherness pressure. Here’s what you can do about it. Show Notes: My apologies, as there are two spots in the episode where one channel drops out briefly. The experience of regret: What, when, and why by Thomas Gilovich and Victoria Medvec Episode 24: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (and How to Avoid...

Self-differentiation doesn’t happen automatically. It’s even harder during the holidays when surrounding togetherness pressure can be high. This episode covers a four-step process that can help you remain a non-anxious presence when you express what you believe, feel, want and need. Show Notes: Alison Cook, Ph.D. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails --- Send in a voice message:...

You can't make another person responsible. If you're trying, you're likely doing it wrong. Here's why and how you can do better. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

The family systems concept of symmetry can help you observe and even predict patterns of functioning in a relationship system. It can also point toward where to find answers about system anxiety. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Relationship systems get stuck when surrounding togetherness pressure makes it difficult for people to disagree. Here's what that looks like and how non-anxious leaders can create a culture of healthy disagreement. Show Notes: Emotionally Intelligent People Use a Brilliant 2-Word Phrase to Speak Up and Get Results by Justin Bariso Solomon Asch Conformity Line Experiment Study by Saul Mcleod, PhD Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for...

What do you do when you respond to another in ways that are hurtful? This episode shows that you can not only repair the relationship, you can make it better. Show Notes: Becky Kennedy: The single most important parenting strategy | TED Talk Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Self-differentiation means that you are able to manage your own anxiety without involving others. This episode unpacks what this does (and doesn't) look like. Show Notes: Being the Captain of Your Own Ship by Kathleen Smith Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message