A 35 year old attempts to abandon his party lifestyle for the sake of his fiancé and kids. Afterwards a caller maybe or maybe doesn’t have lyme disease, a caller has spiritual vision of Kanye West, and a final caller find themselves employed by their father’s mistress. Not every movie is real. I am a gecko.

A caller spends every Friday and Saturday night fist bumping strangers on a street corner for hours. Further call topics include a piss jar, a car filled with wasps, and a cat eating a used condom. Don’t make me turn this car around. I am a gecko.

A caller talks about the cons and pros of being blind since he was 15. Afterwards a caller tries not to text their ex and a final caller explains why she would never date a ginger man, despite being a ginger herself. It is time to make out with Harrison Ford. I am a gecko.

A caller flies to Finland to meet the love of his life, she is nowhere to be found. Then a caller’s mom walks in on him flashing his a*****e to a webcam, we unpack it all. 
 Is this safe to eat? I am a gecko.

A caller talks about hooking up with his straight friend and the baggage that followed. Afterwards a touring Scottish tattoo artist walks across a bridge, a caller struggles with having too much sex, a caller debates his relationship, and a final caller wonders if his nose infection is from eating pussy or a new drug he just snorted. See you at the big game. I am a gecko.

A caller’s boyfriend incentivizes her to quit vaping by allowing her to peg him. Later a caller tries to decide if she should move to Japan to be with her long distance boyfriend, a caller tries to figure out how to talk to people, and a final caller takes a new risk. The bridge is burning. I am a gecko.

A caller tells me how working in a pet crematorium ruined his relationship and also tells some kind of f****d up stories. Afterwards a tattoo artist takes us through their tumultuous last few years and a final caller tries to drop everything to become an Alaskan chef. If you listen closely the sun is screaming. I am a gecko.

A caller talks about leaving the Mennonite community and navigating 2 marriages, 2 divorces, and a kid. Then a final caller reveals to me and his girlfriend just how much money he has spent on skins in League of Legends. How the hell do you open a coconut? I am a gecko.

An “amateur astronomer” explains why he is immobilized with anxiety due to the vastness of the cosmos. Later I talk to a clown enthusiast about e-bikes and his bathroom, a caller shares how medically approved ketamine therapy changed his life, and a final caller tells me how this podcast inspired him to join the Pokemon card community. Can I use your pool? I am a gecko.

A caller tells his story of illegally immigrating into the US from El Salvador, and why he is debating moving back home. Later a caller worries her line of work may ruin her family dynamic and a final caller tries to move to Australia after surviving cancer. Look away. I am a gecko.

A janitor calls in to tell me about the upward trajectory their life has taken despite their turbulent upbringing. Afterwards I talk to a Five Below cashier about to clock in, a caller trying to navigate the universe, and then I take a series of one minute calls because it is my show and I can do what I want. I must now return to counting these rocks. I am a gecko.

A caller is kind of stalked by a former flame who accuses him of being a serial killer. But it is chill. Afterwards an Uber driver explains why they rejected a viral art career and a final caller attempts to navigate office small talk. I hope you can make it to the cook out. I am a gecko.

Conversations with an avid collector of human skulls, a caller who is injecting dark web testosterone, a guy who spoke to demons through a Family Guy episode, a person who feels they deserve their clogged toilet, and a League of Legends player who would rather continue playing than talk to me. Which I get because it was ranked.  It is time to never go outside ever again. I am a gecko. (Originally released as a bonus episode on 11/26/23)

We talk to two separate callers who were both given the same decision of whether to choose their girlfriend or video games. Then a final caller tells us how he regrets using his Make-A-Wish wish on colored pencils. It could all potentially be okay maybe. I am a gecko.

A caller tries to decide if she should let her estranged father back into her life after learning he may have joined the Aryan Brotherhood while in jail for 10 years. Then a caller tries to avoid being guilt tripped by an ex-girlfriend and a retired soldier explains why he hasn’t left his house for the last month. I curse the sun. I am a gecko.

A caller on a family vacation opens up about her intense relationship with drugs, getting sober, hooking up at rehab, and how PCP changed her life (for the better?). Afterwards a pizza guy ponders his mortality with me and a casino janitor chats about her hesitations regarding her new rich boyfriend. We have a winner. I am a gecko.

A caller debates whether or not to continue financially supporting her boyfriend and also whether or not to let her mom back into her life after she tried to poison her. Later I talk to a chef about an illegal restaurant he’s running and a final caller struggles to navigate his newly formed polyamorous relationship. Paint the walls of your house green. I am a gecko.

A caller in the midst of a break up debates whether or not to burn his ex’s family photos. Then a driving instructor talks about road rage and whether or not kids should drive high, and a final caller confronts her underwhelming feelings after finally losing her virginity at 24. Try to do at least one back flip today. I am a gecko.

A caller tells me how he overcame his obsession with spending money on cam girls. Then I help him set up a Roth IRA. Afterwards a caller reveals why they feel so paralyzed in their relationship of 8 years. It sounds nice to be a bird. I am a gecko.

www.therapygeckotour.com

A caller debates whether or not drinking less alcohol is worth it. Then a caller questions if they have a porn addiction, a return caller tells me what abruptly ended their situationship, and a final caller seeks advice on how to be less problematic. I sometimes wonder what scooby doo would taste like if you cooked and ate him. I am a gecko.

A caller reflects on his experience as a veteran living with schizophrenia. Then a caller prepares to confront his wife after learning about her affair, and a final caller talks about how hard it is to maintain a diet while working at a fast food restaurant. There is always a catch. I am a gecko.

After turning his life around, a caller explains why he sometimes looks back fondly on his violent youth. Afterwards a musician debates whether or not to embrace a villainous persona and a final caller tries to move out of their mom’s place. It is a nice day out. I am a gecko.

A new father wrestles with his lack of emotional connection towards his 18 month old baby. Afterwards a caller recounts an encounter he had at the Rainforest Cafe that he’s at least pretty sure was a date. I’ll put this on the fridge. I am a gecko.