Not remembering how we went to bed becomes a normal experience, but it is not normal. We get drunk, eventually end up in bed, only to jolt awake around 3am. After the panic passes, we realize we’ve done it again. We got way too drunk and can’t remember the end of the night. This realization is followed by shame and anxiety, which likely continues into the next day before we repeat the process. The 3am wake up of shame was something I did a few times a week. I would force myself to stay awake...

Withdrawal is pretty obvious, the symptoms that we experience when we quit drinking. There is a lot more to it though. In this episode you’ll learn about why we have withdrawal symptoms and how alcohol impacts the central nervous system. Then I will focus on kindling and how withdrawal can become worse the more cycles we go through, and how returning to drinking during the withdrawal period puts stress on the brain and strengthens the associations we have with alcohol leading to more intense...

Getting started is the hardest part. What are you supposed to do with your time? How do you get through the first week? In this episode I’ll cover 11 tips to help you succeed in Dry July. E190: NA Drinks: the pros and cons Quit drinking course for Dry July on Sober Powered Skills Sober Support: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Anger Management Program https://www.soberpowered.com/anger Sober Powered Skills (bonus episodes with...

Our thoughts create our reality. For most of my life I thought that I had bad luck and bad things kept happening to me, but in sobriety I realized I had very toxic thinking. When something happens to us, we assign meaning to it and that meaning can create issues. It’s important to learn how to adjust your perspective. In this episode I will cover 5 mindset shifts that can help you stay sober, and then I’ll discuss why being able to adjust our perspective is so critical. Sober...

If you’ve stopped drinking, have you noticed that when you walk into a room your eyes immediately go to where the alcohol is? Or how you keep track of how quickly everyone is drinking and what drink they’re on without any effort? Or how you never realized how much people in TV shows and movies drink until now? This is because alcohol can capture and hold our attention, leading to increased cravings that make it difficult to not drink. In this episode you’ll learn what’s going on in the brain...

Let's talk about goal setting and building self-confidence. You've probably heard me mention off and on that I've had this goal to deadlift 200 lbs. I just achieved it. If you can stay put for a short story about my deadlift, then I promise I have a point. I want to get into goal setting, how to determine what your goal should even be, and what this can do for your self-confidence. I'm not talking about a goal to lose weight or drink in moderation. What to listen to next: E188: Wellness Over...

Many of us use alcohol to turn off our brain, escape our problems, or check out, but escapism is actually associated with more intense drinking and lower life satisfaction. In this episode you’ll learn about the different theories behind escapism, why we’re doing this, and how it makes our problems worse. I hope that this episode can help you make some connections so you realize drinking isn’t helping you. I’ll also share a personal story of when I drank to escape and how that went for...

What causes a relapse? How can we recognize it and make changes before we actually relapse? In this episode I’ll discuss the path to relapse and what is going on. Whether you relapsed or want to be vigilant in case you relapse or get weird thoughts, then you’ll learn about denial, low insight, not being ready to quit, and 5 strategies to deal with a relapse.  What to listen to next: E210: Good News, Your Brain Heals A Lot Within 90 Days… Unless You Relapse E191: Going Back and Forth Makes...

Your brain has to be connected well to be able to work. We beat ourselves up because we know we shouldn’t drink, but then we do, or because we keep convincing ourselves it’ll be different this time, even though it’s never different. It’s easy to think this is because you’re a weak-willed loser with no self-control, but it’s just not true. In this episode I’m explaining how alcohol changes the way our brains are connected to make us continue drinking in an automatic loop while preventing us...

There are triggers to drink everywhere, but I’ve seen 6 common ones that mess up people’s attempts to get sober. In this episode I’ll explain what these are and how you can start dealing with them. I’m going to start our discussion with a personal lesson I learned about giving up when things get hard. We also need to learn how to push through discomfort, come out the other side, and build our confidence. What to listen to next E199: frustration tolerance E216: 4 types of impulsivity (giving...

Glutamate, GABA, Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Serotonin, and the whole HPA axis (stress response). These are some of the important systems in your brain that get messed up when you blast your brain with alcohol all the time. Then when we quit drinking, these get even more messed up. In this episode you’ll learn what these 6 do, how alcohol messes them up, how they get more messed up when we quit drinking, and how long it takes for them to recover in sobriety. (TW: link between addiction and...

Alcohol is marketed as a key to relaxation and fun. Ads and movies show us that alcohol is essential for social bonding and carefree moments, signaling us that a drink in hand is your ticket to fun and connection. Then when we start to notice our drinking is problematic and think about how we may have to get sober, one of the first things we panic about is how this means the fun is over. In this episode, I’ll explain why alcohol isn’t fun and 5 ways you can redefine fun after quitting...

The hippocampus is an important part of the brain, which is unfortunately very vulnerable to alcohol. It is most well-known for its role in blackouts, but damage to the hippocampus from our drinking can cause problems with everyday memory too, like telling someone the same story over and over again. The hippocampus has a lesser known, but very important role in learned associations. Associations are cues in the environment that help us predict an alcohol reward, so they cause cravings to...

Our lifestyle can make our sobriety easier or harder. When we quit drinking, things have to change. We can’t keep coming home to the same old routine but just not drink. In this episode I’ll explain 7 lifestyle changes that you can make overtime to support your sobriety and why these changes are helpful.  What to listen to next: E188: wellness over weight loss E213: self-care is NOT temporarily turning off your brain Sober Support: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life...

There are 2 types of alcohol cravings that you may experience as you quit drinking: sudden, in the moment cravings or constant all day cravings. In this episode, you’ll learn about both types and 3 reasons we crave alcohol. I’ve experienced both types of cravings so I will share my experience and help you understand why you keep craving alcohol and where to get started in minimizing your cravings. What to listen to next: E191: going back and forth makes your cravings stronger E205: kindling...

The weather is getting warmer and we start thinking about how everyone’s going to be on the porch or at restaurants drinking, how nice that looks, and how left out we feel for not participating. It’s normal to see other people drinking and wish you could do it too. In this episode we’ll talk about 3 reasons why we think alcohol is required when the weather is warm. It’s a mix of science, conditioning, awareness and being honest with ourselves.  What to listen to next: E179 we have to grieve...

We don’t drink because we’re losers with no self-control. A lot of times we drink because we can’t handle emotions, we get the F its, and we keep convincing ourselves it will be different this time. These are all different types of impulsivity. In this episode, you’ll learn 4 different impulsive traits and how these influence our drinking. I’ll explain which one I am, how this caused big urges to drink in sobriety, and at the end of the episode I’ll give you some criteria to understand which...

Do we “get” to be sober or do we have to be sober? What if you don’t want to glamorize sobriety or think about alcohol as a class one carcinogen? Do you have to call yourself an alcoholic to quit drinking for good? In this episode I’m explaining how we think we are different from everyone else and 5 different ways I’ve seen the sober community talk about sobriety. At the end of the episode I’ll share how to know if your thinking is helping you quit drinking or keeping you trapped in the cycle...

We drink to cope because it seems to help us manage anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, etc., but self-medicating with alcohol only makes your problems worse. Drinking to cope increases our risk of developing a problem and in this episode I’ll explain why. You’ll learn how much more likely coping drinkers are to develop a problem, how this makes it harder to quit drinking, and how drinking to cope differs for men and women. What to listen to next: E111 Drinking alone E206 HALT E212...

We think that turning off our brain with alcohol at the end of the day is “me time” and it’s the only way to get a break. This isn’t self-care, it’s called being depleted and trying to survive a life that drains you. Poor self-care is one of the most reliable predictors of relapse in people trying to get sober. It’s important and in this episode I’m explaining what self-care is, how we can navigate transition times, and 5 simple ways you can begin to prioritize self-care in your life. I’ve...

It’s frustrating if you keep trying to stop drinking, but aren’t succeeding. We’ve discussed the brain changes that make it more difficult in a few recent episodes, but there are other factors as well. In this episode we’ll discuss the difference in how people handle the same life circumstances and stressors, and what determines whether you will be resilient in the face of stress and hardship. You’ll learn about epigenetic changes that make it more difficult to be resilient and how your...

Anticipation of the reward from alcohol is one of the main reasons we stay stuck in the back and forth cycle. We believe alcohol will help us relax, unwind, deal with negative emotions, have fun, or connect with others. This is what causes cravings for alcohol. In this episode I’ll explain how we learn to associate certain things with drinking, how we can break these associations after we quit drinking, and 2 ways that you can reduce cravings. What to listen to next: E62: dopamine deep...

Significant brain healing can happen within the first few months of being sober. Finally some good news for us, right? In this episode you’ll learn more about how alcohol damages the brain to make it harder to stay sober and how the brains of people who are able to stay sober differ from those who go on to relapse. It’s not just deciding that you’re done with drinking and that’s it. That’s what we observe other people do who aren’t addicted and then we feel like losers with no self-control...

Behavioral addictions are stigmatized because they feel like more of a choice because there’s no substance changing your brain. However, process addictions or behavioral addictions like porn do actually change the brain in similar ways. In this episode I’ll explain why porn is so addicting, brain changes from porn, and how porn influences us to objectify women and see them as sex objects. Porn has another layer of addictiveness beyond brain changes, it causes novelty seeking. This destroys...

We do the same thing with our diet that we do with our drinking- our eating habits aren’t great, but they’re not bad either so it feels manageable. Our food quality impacts our mental health and stress levels though. I’ve been struggling with fatigue and depression, so it got me interested in the link. In this episode I’m explaining the importance of breakfast and a high quality diet. You’ll learn how what you eat impacts the way you feel, how stressed you are, and how this makes us more...