Your family and how you grew up have a major influence on how difficult it is for you to get sober, do the work, and resist relapse. A dysfunctional family influences our mindset, how many coping skills and resources we have, and how in tune we are with our emotions. Lots of families have an unspoken rule of silence, which impacts how we behave as adults. In this episode I’ll cover the impact of a dysfunctional family, how this influences relapse tendency, and what you can do to move forward...

It’s that time of year again. Time for company happy hours, holiday parties, and seeing family. It’s also a time of year when most people drink a lot more than usual. I quit drinking in early November, so I was a little baby sober for my first holiday season. In this episode, I’ll walk you through the strategies that helped me the most during my first year. Plus, I’ll also share some interesting statistics about holiday drinking. What to listen to next: E190: Non-Alcoholic Drinks: The Pros...

The most difficult part of the process of quitting drinking is getting from the point where you realize your drinking is problematic and that you need to quit, to where you actually quit and accept that you are done. That is by far the worst stage and I can't tell you how long that lasts. However, what I would like to tell you in this special episode for my 5 year soberversary is the little micro realizations that I had right before I reached acceptance. I hope in hearing mine, you can start...

Have you ever vowed to stop drinking, but then you drink again anyway? It’s a rhetorical question. I know the answer is yes. It’s frustrating when we keep doing this to ourselves and it destroys our belief in ourselves, which is an essential part of staying sober. In this episode I’m discussing instant gratification, the decision making process, and how alcohol alters the way the brain makes decisions to keep us stuck in a loop.  What to listen to next: E224: alcohol simplifies the...

Are you making being sober harder for yourself? I had no idea what I was doing when I first quit drinking and maybe you feel the same way. Over the years there are things that I’ve noticed people tend to do that makes their sobriety journey more difficult and in this episode I’m going to explain them. If you’ve been doing any of these things then I hope this episode helps ease the unnecessary burden you’re putting on yourself. What to listen to next: E195: When Does Sobriety Get Better? E202:...

Multiple quit attempts are common when you are trying to get sober, but how many tries does it take before it finally sticks? In this episode I’ll cover the statistics on relapse rates and share all the data I’ve found on the number of quit attempts it takes to stay sober for good. You’ll learn about what makes sobriety more challenging, and what you can do to make this quit attempt your final try. What to listen to next: E249: Alcohol and Cortisol: Extra Stress and Extra Cravings E248: You...

The intensity of our emotions determines how we deal with them. If the intensity gets too much and we become overwhelmed, we can use avoidance coping mechanisms, like drinking, but avoiding emotions just increases their intensity. In this episode, I’ll explain why some of us have more intense emotions than others, what the window of tolerance is and how this relates to your drinking, and how your brain interprets things to lead to these intense emotions. Our perception is in our control, so...

When I was struggling to quit drinking people would constantly tell me that I wasn’t “ready” yet. I felt ready. I was suffering and wanted it to end. What more did I need to be ready? In this episode you’ll learn about the stages of change, what each one might look like with our drinking, and how to move into the next stage if you are stuck in one. I’ll also discuss 3 things that keep us from being “ready” to get sober and if a rock bottom moment is required. What to listen to...

Stress is a main reason many of us drink and it’s a big trigger for relapse after getting sober. In this episode you’ll learn all about cortisol- how it’s released, how chronic stress and heavy drinking disrupt our stress response, and when your stress response system may recover in sobriety. I’ll explain what happens with cortisol in withdrawal, in early sobriety, and give you a timeline for when this should normalize.  What to listen to next: E204: can anyone get addicted to alcohol? E199:...

Getting sober is tough. We have to figure out how to live again and finally learn some coping skills and tools. It’s uncomfortable. In this episode, I’ll talk about stepping outside of our comfort zone to stay sober and how to recognize and take advantage of growth opportunities that show up during the journey. I’m going to share some uncomfortable truths in this episode, but I think if you can really hear me, then it may help you reframe your perspective and start doing some of “the...

You’ve heard people say it, sober sleep is the best sleep, but when are you going to get some of this great sleep yourself? In this episode, I explain why we think alcohol helps with sleep, how alcohol affects sleep, and what to expect with your sleep when you quit drinking. You’ll learn more about insomnia in the first month, why we have drinking dreams, and how sleep recovers over time. I promise, if you stick with sobriety you will have that amazing sleep you hear everyone else talking...

Many of us worry that we’ve done permanent damage to our brains with our heavy drinking or that it’s been too long to make a change. In this episode you’ll learn more about dementia, how heavy drinking damages the brain and increases the risk of developing dementia, and what you can do to reduce your risk of dementia, besides quitting drinking of course. I will also discuss wet brain, also known as Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome, which is another consequence of long term heavy drinking.  What to...

Is being sober truly a priority or would it be a nice to have? If you want to make progress in getting sober, staying sober, and doing “the work”, then you need to be consistent. In this episode, I’ll discuss why consistency is important to the brain, 3 things that make us more likely to follow through with our commitments, and how you can start prioritizing your sobriety today. What to listen to next: E242: The Science of Making Good Habits in Long Term Sobriety E224: Alcohol Makes Your...

It’s very normal to feel bored when you quit drinking. We get used to constant excitement, dopamine and chaos while we’re drinking, so it can be difficult to adjust. Plus, many of us give up our hobbies that don’t involve alcohol, so when we get sober we don’t know what to do with all of our free time. In this episode I’m going to discuss why some of us are prone to boredom when we try to stop drinking. Throughout the episode I am going to build on our definition of boredom and why it...

Emotional eating is a very frustrating thing to deal with, and it’s not uncommon to eat extra or have sugar cravings when you get sober. In this episode I’ll explain why we emotionally eat, the factors that contribute to emotional eating the most, and how this relates to your sobriety. You’ll learn about a lot of different studies on emotional eating and I will share tips for dealing with it if you’re struggling. What to listen to next: E41: why sober people want so much sugar E165: I quit...

Many of us eventually realize that we have unhealthy habits like eating a bunch of junk at night, drinking way too much caffeine, not exercising, and more. We want to change these, but changing habits is tough. We can easily get into the same cycle we did with our drinking where we say we’re going to do it and then we do nothing, or we get inspired briefly, and then go right back to normal. So how can we take advantage of the brain’s habit building system to get some healthy habits into our...

Understanding why you crave alcohol can be a powerful tool in your sober journey, helping you reduce the frequency and intensity of these cravings. There are many theories about why alcohol cravings occur, and in this episode, I’ll explore the six most scientifically supported reasons. By gaining insight into the different factors that contribute to alcohol cravings, you can strengthen your sober lifestyle and learn effective strategies to manage and reduce your own cravings. What to listen...

You may have heard of Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS), a condition that can develop after you’ve quit drinking and includes lingering symptoms like mood swings, anxiety, brain fog, and fatigue. In this episode I will explain what PAWS is, why it develops, what factors influence the severity of PAWS, what you can expect, and I’ll give you 8 tips for coping with the symptoms. What to listen to next: E199: frustration tolerance E170: why the first year of sobriety is so hard...

This episode is a deep dive into how alcohol affects the body, timestamps are below. This isn’t an episode meant to scare you, just to inform you about all the things you may be experiencing. Often we don’t know that alcohol is the cause. In the second half of the episode I’ll shift gears to the scary side of how alcohol impacts the body, specifically cancer and cirrhosis. I will give you a warning before I discuss the prognosis of cirrhosis so if that is information you don’t want to hear...

In this episode you’ll learn about what the brain is like in the first couple of weeks of sobriety, how the brain’s of people who relapse are different from those who stay sober, how healing progresses up to 7 years of sobriety, and some common roadblocks. This episode is part of a 9 episode series for Dry July 2024. Make sure to follow my podcast so you don't miss the rest of the series. Dry July Sober Powered Skills Special Dry July Course https://www.soberpowered.com/skills Sober...

Moderation is impossible. If you can’t moderate, then you’ll never be able to. Some people can moderate with rules and intense focus, but that’s not real moderation. In this episode I’ll explain why we can never be cured, what’s going on in the brain, and hopefully help you accept that you drink the way you drink and that’s it. What to listen to next: E204: can anyone get addicted to alcohol? E150: 15 moderation strategies I tried to control my drinking This episode is part of a 9 episode...

Have you ever felt totally convinced that it was going to be different this time, only to drink and find out it’s still not any different? We can repeat this cycle too many times to count, and maintain the belief that we’ll be able to moderate our drinking someday if only we keep trying. In this episode you’ll learn why you repeat this process even though you have a ton of proof that it won’t be different. I’ll discuss the fading affect bias and how the bad memories fade and the good memories...

At the end of our drinking, we continue to drink even though it’s not enjoyable and causes a lot of suffering. As addiction progresses it goes from liking alcohol to wanting or needing alcohol. In this episode I’ll explain why alcohol feels pleasurable and enjoyable for us, and how eventually we get a payback and start feeling miserable. You’ll learn a bit about the pleasure pain balance too. This episode is part of a 9 episode series for Dry July 2024. Make sure to follow my podcast so you...

Everyone loves dopamine right now. We know it’s involved in addiction and pleasure, and that it gets depleted when we drink. In this episode, I’m going to explain dopamine’s role in motivation, cravings, and building associations with our drinking. One of the earliest signs of addiction is loss of control, so how dopamine contributes to us being unable to control how much alcohol we drink. This episode is part of a 9 episode series for Dry July 2024. Make sure to follow my podcast so you...