We drink to cope because it seems to help us manage anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, etc., but self-medicating with alcohol only makes your problems worse. Drinking to cope increases our risk of developing a problem and in this episode I’ll explain why. You’ll learn how much more likely coping drinkers are to develop a problem, how this makes it harder to quit drinking, and how drinking to cope differs for men and women. What to listen to next: E111 Drinking alone E206 HALT E212...

We think that turning off our brain with alcohol at the end of the day is “me time” and it’s the only way to get a break. This isn’t self-care, it’s called being depleted and trying to survive a life that drains you. Poor self-care is one of the most reliable predictors of relapse in people trying to get sober. It’s important and in this episode I’m explaining what self-care is, how we can navigate transition times, and 5 simple ways you can begin to prioritize self-care in your life. I’ve...

It’s frustrating if you keep trying to stop drinking, but aren’t succeeding. We’ve discussed the brain changes that make it more difficult in a few recent episodes, but there are other factors as well. In this episode we’ll discuss the difference in how people handle the same life circumstances and stressors, and what determines whether you will be resilient in the face of stress and hardship. You’ll learn about epigenetic changes that make it more difficult to be resilient and how your...

Anticipation of the reward from alcohol is one of the main reasons we stay stuck in the back and forth cycle. We believe alcohol will help us relax, unwind, deal with negative emotions, have fun, or connect with others. This is what causes cravings for alcohol. In this episode I’ll explain how we learn to associate certain things with drinking, how we can break these associations after we quit drinking, and 2 ways that you can reduce cravings. What to listen to next: E62: dopamine deep...

Significant brain healing can happen within the first few months of being sober. Finally some good news for us, right? In this episode you’ll learn more about how alcohol damages the brain to make it harder to stay sober and how the brains of people who are able to stay sober differ from those who go on to relapse. It’s not just deciding that you’re done with drinking and that’s it. That’s what we observe other people do who aren’t addicted and then we feel like losers with no self-control...

Behavioral addictions are stigmatized because they feel like more of a choice because there’s no substance changing your brain. However, process addictions or behavioral addictions like porn do actually change the brain in similar ways. In this episode I’ll explain why porn is so addicting, brain changes from porn, and how porn influences us to objectify women and see them as sex objects. Porn has another layer of addictiveness beyond brain changes, it causes novelty seeking. This destroys...

We do the same thing with our diet that we do with our drinking- our eating habits aren’t great, but they’re not bad either so it feels manageable. Our food quality impacts our mental health and stress levels though. I’ve been struggling with fatigue and depression, so it got me interested in the link. In this episode I’m explaining the importance of breakfast and a high quality diet. You’ll learn how what you eat impacts the way you feel, how stressed you are, and how this makes us more...

There are lots of great things that happen when you quit drinking, but we can get distracted by wanting everything to be easy and perfect. In this episode I’m sharing 15 things you can look forward to from day 2 to years of sobriety. Wherever you’re at in your journey, this episode will remind you of some of the best things about being sober. What to listen to next: E17: alcohol and the heart E169: alcohol and gut health E159, 161, 162: physical, cognitive, and emotional benefits from...

You’ve probably heard of the acronym HALT, hungry, angry, lonely, tired. These are all triggers for relapse because they influence our ability to think things through and wait. These feelings make us impulsive, overwhelmed, and more likely to go for an instant gratification choice like drinking, even when we know we want to stay sober. In this episode I’m explaining why these 4 conditions are triggering.  What to listen to next: E192: E192: Do You Need a Drink or Are You Just Hungry? (Alcohol...

For some of us, each time we go through withdrawal, the next withdrawal is worse. This is called kindling and in this episode I’m explaining what kindling is and how it happens. You’ll learn why we get withdrawal symptoms when we quit drinking, what delirium tremens is, and how kindling makes it harder to get sober. I’ll also discuss what counts as a cycle of withdrawal and what doesn’t. What to listen to next: E191: Going Back and Forth Makes Your Cravings Stronger E201: Your Dysregulated...

Is everyone on the slow path towards addiction? Are all moderate drinkers a little bit addicted? We know alcohol is an addictive substance that gets us hooked and then changes our brains to keep us hooked, but why does this process even start? In this episode I’ll explain 15 risk factors that can lead us to become addicted to alcohol. You’ll learn about emotional factors, genetic factors, and life circumstances that influence the risk of developing a problem with alcohol. What to listen to...

Drinking stops being fun and enjoyable, but we continue to do it anyway. Why is this? We know it makes us miserable and we want to stop, but by 4pm or after a few days or weeks of sober time we talk ourselves back into it. In this episode you’ll learn about the adaptations that happen in the brain as we drink heavily and how this leads to compulsive drinking despite the consequences. I’ll explain how alcohol changes our dopamine system to increase cravings, prevent us from stopping once we’ve...

I talk about doing “the work” a lot on this podcast, so let’s talk about what that work is. In this episode I’ll explain what the work is, roadblocks to doing the work, how you can get started and detours to be aware of on the journey. You’ll learn about victim mentality, blaming others, and if we have to do “the work” forever. What to listen to next: E189: rumination E197: making the decision to quit drinking Resources I offer: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life...

This episode is everything you need to know about cortisol, stress and alcohol. I’ll explain how our stress system adapts to both chronic stress and chronic heavy drinking, how multiple cycles of withdrawal impacts this adaptation, how this causes more cravings, and what this means for our ability to cope with life. We think alcohol helps take the edge off and reduce our stress levels, but it actually just makes us less resilient.  What to listen to next: E191: Going Back and Forth Makes Your...

The moment that should have been my rock bottom, but wasn’t. I never thought I’d share this story, but I realized recently that this story doesn’t have any power over me anymore. Shame was a big problem for me during my drinking and when I got sober. I thought I’d never get over it. I had bad memories play like movies in my head and I had no control over when it happened and I couldn’t make it stop once it started. In this episode I’m telling the full story of my greatest shame and how you...

Your ability to tolerate frustration can make your life easier or it can make it harder. For most of my life I made things harder for myself. In this episode I’m explaining what frustration tolerance is, some interesting studies on emotion regulation, how this increases our risk of relapse, and what we need to do to better tolerate discomfort, negative emotions, frustration, and anger. What to listen to next: E149: How Alcohol Affects the Nervous System E161: what to expect emotionally when...

I struggled with anger for most of my life. Conveniently, when I began drinking a lot of my anger went away, but when I got sober it came back stronger than ever. I would get overcome with such intense rage that I struggled to function. Learning to understand my anger, see all the things that were connected to it, and developing skills to work with it has changed my life. In this episode I’m explaining 5 ways my life has improved since doing this work. Resources I offer: Community &...

I cover a lot of research on this podcast, and it’s probably difficult to remember it all. In this episode, I’m sharing my favorite things I learned in February and how you can apply each of them to your life. Episodes covered: 191-196 Resources I offer: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober Group Coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Anger Management Program https://www.soberpowered.com/anger Weekly emails...

A lot of us “quit” drinking and we go back and forth for a long time beating ourselves up for being too weak to stick with it. In this episode, I want to discuss how alcohol impacts our ability to make decisions based on our goals, what actually making the decision looks like, and how you can get closer to quitting for good. What to listen to next: E196: how the brain recovers after quitting drinking E164: how taking breaks helped me quit for good E125: why we lose our off switch Resources I...

Sometimes, we’ll say we don’t want to drink anymore, but what we really mean is we want to drink without the consequences. Your intention matters and if you are carrying around hopes and dreams of drinking again someday, then you’ll drink again. In this episode I want to explain why even when sobriety, your life, your job, and your relationships are a priority for you you still might end up drinking and then later you’re left wondering why you always do this to yourself. This is a replay of...

Did we blast our brains beyond repair with all of our drinking? What if you drank heavily for decades? Are you doomed? In this episode I’m explaining a ton of different studies on brain recovery in sobriety. You’ll learn what to expect as you get more sober time, if our brains make a full recovery, how long it takes to see improvement, how drinking less impacts your brain, and more about how alcohol damages the brain. What to listen to next: E195: when does sobriety get better E12: why we...

Sobriety is great, but it can also be frustrating. We did the work right? We quit drinking, so when is it going to get easier? When will we start to feel better? When does sobriety become a normal part of our lives and not something that we have to put so much effort into anymore? I’m answering all of these questions in todays episode What to listen to next: E164: how taking breaks helped me stop for good E162: cognitive benefits E170: why the first year is so hard E176: you have to grieve...

When you’re used to using alcohol to fix all your problems, it’s difficult to know what to do when that’s no longer an option. Drinking prevents us from having to learn coping skills because we use alcohol to control our emotions and feel whatever we want to feel, until the alcohol wears off of course. In this episode, I’m sharing 5 coping skills that you can start practicing to deal with situations and emotions that normally you’d run to alcohol for. What to listen to next: E128: why...

Did you know that about 30% of adults don’t get enough sleep? Sure, being tired sucks and many of us are busy and have reasons for not getting enough sleep. But did you know that sleep quality has a major impact on our emotions for the day? In this episode, you’ll learn more about sleep research, how sleep impacts your emotional experience during the day, how alcohol affects sleep, and why you have drinking dreams in sobriety. Resources I offer: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober...