In the final part of a two-part series on Problem Solving, Amy gets into the nitty gritty. This is all about the things to say, how to say them, and what to look for to find the answers you both haven't been able to get so far.If you want to be a boss when it comes to resolving conflict and solving relationship issues, this episode is a must to listen to!www.nomythmarriages.com/married

If you've been listening for a while, you would have noticed Amy talks about problem solving in marriage A LOT.In this episode, the first of a 2-part series, Amy gives you the strategies and tactics for preparing to sit down and solve a problem with your spouse. If you want to have a successful session of problem solving, where the problem actually gets resolved, there is a little bit of prep you need to understand first to get the results you both want.Get a pen and paper, take notes, and if...

If you were having trouble in your relationship, would your family tell you to work it through with your partner? Chances are in the NZ culture, they would probably tell you something like "you shouldn't have to put up with that!".There are two problems with this:1. They are biased 2. They are usually not qualified to advise you on how to resolve your relationship issueAmy uses a slightly sneaky tactic to illustrate her point, and hopes she won't get into too much trouble with Josh when he...

When we face great pressures, the most common reaction is to get angry. How are we supposed to deal with anger from the person we love, when anger is such an unloveable thing to have to respond to?What if it is getting out of hand, and we're getting tired of the anger spewing out too often?Don't worry! Here are some concrete strategies for responding that Amy and Josh have been practising for the past 4-5 years. They've experienced an ongoing set of stressful situations during and after a...

In this episode Amy describes detail never before shared about their struggles to have children, and the choice to move ahead with their second-top goal of building a house. After which they finally became pregnant. She tells of problems with their house build, and the crazy times of having no other choice but to live in the house they were building, while it was unfinished (no plumbing) with an unsettled baby, a two year old, and builders with nail guns working around them. Plus, Josh was...

After filming their online course, in this episode Amy goes back to one of the topics covered in the course - money. She adds more detail about the quote from Tim Ferris, author of The 4-Hour Work Week:"In part, it’s laziness. “If only I had more money” is the easiest way to postpone the intense self-examination and decision- making necessary to create a life of enjoyment – now and not later..."Amy talks about the resources needed for our hobbies: money, and time, and poses a challenge for...

Did you know that the average married couple spends about 20 minutes PER WEEK talking? But conversations with each other build closeness, which is what provides the most enriching relationship possible.Discover the REAL TRUTH behind three popular myths that we think block us from have regular, rewarding conversations with our spouse.

If we get stuck in a funk in our relationships, what are some things we can do to get ourselves out of it? That is, things that we have control over? For some of us, that might be to try and find something funny to laugh about, since laughing is a fantastic medicine.Amy goes on a journey of discovery to find some really good marriage and relationships jokes, and along the way discusses some really bad ones with a funny disguise.  Only listen to this episode if you want a good laugh!

Has your spouse ever kept doing something that annoys you, even though they know it annoys you? To the point where you're so over it, you wonder if they're the right person for you after all?In this episode Amy takes tips from an Iceberg to describe what might really be going on, and provides some tips to save you on both energy and bad feelings!www.nomythmarriages.com/resources

If you're almost 14 years' married with two kids does that make you an old married couple? Amy's husband Josh would say "Affirm" (pilot speak) but essentially, yes she thinks that qualifies them for the role of dating guide for other "old married couples".This episode contains some background context including sibling fights, spa pools, and changing peoples' jobs on them, before Amy comes to the point she is trying to make, which is "Never Take Love for Granted". Followed by a bunch of the...

If you've ever watched a boy play something where they win, or achieve the outcome they intended, you'll notice their response almost sounds like bragging... Husbands are naturally good at confidence, and it serves a few important purposes.Wives who are aware of this and want the outcomes it can produce, might want to make sure to encourage their husbands in every opportunity to do something they are good at. And agree with them when they say "Yes! I'm the man!"www.nomythmarriages.com

When it comes to making a relationship harmonious without being a doormat, wives are by nature, very good at this. However if females get stuck in 'doing' mode, we don't have time to get into 'being' mode, being GOOD at relationships, which is where we are at our best, and where we are the experts as opposed to the males in the house.When relationships are faltering in the household, we as females are the experts in figuring it out. By nature, we are good at forming close bonds and...

There was once this evil king... with an even more evil mother... and there was a sister who had a good husband, who made a big plan.Have you ever been part of a big plan and been so invigorated, so excited, and felt so in tune with everyone else who was in on the big plan?Amy tells a story or two in this episode to illustrate how making a big plan with your spouse can bring back your mojo, and how the agreement that results brings unity. And really, how your agreement makes you super...

Have you ever done something really stupid, that you know is bad, to do with your relationship? Maybe you've said some really nasty things because you were stressed, or ignored them when they needed you, or even worse?In this episode Amy describes some awful behaviour she was guilty of and how she figured out a fast comeback, involving something as easy as - turning back around!www.nomythmarriages.com

If you've never done a personality test before, or it's been a long time since, this episode is for you. Not only is there value in knowing what type of personality you tend towards, it's also very helpful to understand your partner's type as well. The two reasons are 1. understanding goes a long way and 2. once you know what you are dealing with, you can hack each personality type. Amy goes into the detail on how to hack each of the four types outlined in this episode.

Amy describes some of the busyness of life right now on her drive down to the town of Matamata to complete a handover of a wedding magazine she is about to take on.One thing she has been doing recently, while husband Josh has been training on Saturdays for a run, is catch up with friends who also don't have husbands around on a Saturday. One particular mum told her a story or two, and Amy discusses her response to these. Since both of these are quite curly circumstances, she asks the question...

In this episode Amy describes a concept she discovered in an audiobook called "Best Self" by Mike Bayer.One of the parts of the book talks about our Anti-Self and how we can stop it from coming out and trumping our Best Self. Yes, it's kind of Dr Jekyll-style, however it does seem to be a good way to combat the common tantrums Amy might throw in common situations - only under intense duress of course.Amy describes for her defense the stressful things going on in her life, and her attempt to...

In this episode, hear Amy's take on the role of the brain in the development of a decision to be unfaithful. Understand why the total cleverness of the brain can get us into trouble sometimes, learn how it creates solutions for us, and get some advice on how to combat its shortcuts to protect your relationship.Warning: this revelation of how the brain can contribute to bad decisions could change the way you think about villains forever!

Hear why Amy was extremely nervous to record this episode about affairs, how they happen, and how to keep them from happening in your relationship. Get examples of what not to do, as well as strategies for highly reducing the chances of unfaithfulness affecting you and your spouse.

The second part of two episodes about how to get your partner to change their ways. This one is all about problem solving. We go through the techniques for solving relationship problems from start to finish. Don't miss this episode! Find the Problem Solving Diagram on the Resources page at www.nomythmarriages.com.

Have you ever heard the well-worn relationship advice that you can't make your partner change, the only person you can change is yourself? This episode, whilst slightly tongue-in-cheek, will knock your socks off with a strategy that could actually be used to get your partner to make a change in their behaviour.

In this very special episode I describe a day in the life of a pilot's wife, one that actually involved going on a trip where Josh flew the plane. It makes me so happy just remembering this overnight trip. I share about Memory Surfing, a technique we use to 1. raise the mood by reliving good memories to kind of "escape" the present not-so-cool reality and 2. learn and retain lessons from our memories, definitely from the good ones but even the bad ones, if we're feeling up to it.

Maybe one reason why we've never looked into that opportunity we dreamed of is because our life was good. This episode tries to take stock of the present corona virus disaster and the pressures it is placing on households all over the world with an opportunity lens. Here are some of the challenging things happening in our household and some things I'm trying which might help others too.

We don't want to feel like a doormat, so we sometimes might avoid saying sorry in case the other person doesn't respond well. Here's a podcast that will show you how to say sorry to your husband or wife in a way that 1: increases the chances they will offer forgiveness and 2: stops you from feeling like a doormat.

While we're all stuck at home in self isolation, let's be real about why tensions come up, and about our expectations. I offer four tips to help keep your relationship healthy during these stressful times and encourage you to remember why you got married in the first place.