Having difficult conversations with one partner is hard enough. When consensual non-monogamy is part of the equation it can feel overwhelming. In this episode, therapist Kate Loree gives insight and actionable strategies for working through uncomfortable emotions in polyamory/CNM like jealousy, envy, insecurity, and feeling disempowered. She also provides valuable tips on identifying & managing triggers with our partners and metamours. Some of what we touch on: Attachment injury...

Asexuality and kink?! Isn’t that a contradiction?! Nope! Asexual BDSM is quite common. In fact, a significant segment of the kink subculture is on the ‘ace’ spectrum.  On ep 195, Evie Lupine joins to talk about it. A few of the things we discuss: Asexuality vs. Responsive Desire & how to tell the difference How someone can be asexual but still have & enjoy sex Why the kink community appeals to many aces What IS sex? Do we have the definition all wrong? The relationship between sex...

In episode 194 of American Sex Podcast, Sunny Megatron continues her deep dive into the murky, messy, nuances of kink. She examines some of the most popular kink “rules” pertaining to consent & safewords and the grey areas that cause community friction: “Never renegotiate during a scene” “When there’s a problem someone will use their safeword” “Never do heavy impact without a warm-up” “Safewords can be abused” “Safewords are for sex and BDSM” This episode will help you diversify what’s...

Safe words aren't as deep & complicated as we make them out to be. They aren’t necessarily as simple as we think either. In kink & sex, safe words are simple communication tools that stop the action & trigger a predetermined protocol. What they mean, how they're used & what you do after is up to you. How do you decide that? Episode 193 of American Sex Podcast will help you figure it out.  This convo was inspired by a listener suggestion to unpack some of the fiercest kink...

“The BDSM Test” is infamous in the kink community and beyond. Since 2014, thousands have proudly posted results like a badge of honor on FetLife profiles. We use it as a roadmap, educational tool, and kink negotiation starter. It’s even gone vanilla as the focus of social media challenges and pop magazine writeups. But is this kink subculture phenomenon all it's cracked up to be? While some find it helpful & validating, many say it’s othering, stigmatizing, and normalizes red-flag...

Kink & BDSM stigma is alive and well in the mainstream, in our own communities, and even in professional/academic spheres. In episode 191 of American Sex Podcast, Sunny Megatron busts some of the most common kink myths + provides clinical & academic resources for therapists, academics, and skeptical naysayers. She deconstructs the following kink & BDSM myths:    Kink is always sexual and platonic kink does not exist Kink is considered abnormal by psychologists & the...

Many of us go through periods in our lives when we’re not happy with the amount of sex we do or don't want. In Ep 190 of American Sex Podcast, Cyndi Darnell gives tips for changing our relationship to pleasure and navigating intimacy when one partner is perpetually ‘not in the mood.’ Some of the things we touch on: Mismatched Libido  Responsive vs spontaneous desire Arousal vs libido vs desire vs attraction How gender & orientation factor in Reasons people have desire changes &...

Kink isn’t a replacement for therapy, but it can be therapeutic. On Ep 189 Andrea Glik, LMSW explains the impact of trauma on our nervous system, depression as a survival response, the stress response cycle, the difference between glimmers and triggers, how BDSM can be used to heal trauma for both doms and subs, how she integrates clients BDSM experiences into therapy, plus how healing can manifest through CNC, little space, subspace, aftercare, and more. Even if you're not a kinkster, this...

Being a part of community isn't required to practice BDSM, although it may seem like it due to visibility. What is important is knowing the positive and negative ways community influences the kink subculture. Yes, mainstream myths and stereotypes contribute to BDSM stigma, however, misleading info from the community causes harm too. On ep 188 of American Sex, Sunny Megatron & Kate Loree discuss this plus give advice on verifying the validity of educational info, sniffing out gatekeeping...

All relationships are susceptible to hurdles & conflict--resentment, attachment injuries, navigating mental health, unhealthy coping strategies, overcoming societal conditioning, trauma, and more. It’s hard enough between 2 people; in polyamory, we have multiple partners to factor in plus unique issues like jealousy and couple’s privilege.  On episode 187 of American Sex Podcast, Kate Loree draws from her years as a polyamorous relationship therapist to talk about strategies for...

The kink community has a reputation for being accepting & inclusive. When it comes to race, however, we have some work to do. Recent research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found at BDSM events people of color were 16x more likely to feel discriminated against & 17x more likely to feel fetishized than their white counterparts. On ep 186 of American Sex podcast, Luna Matatas discusses insight she's gleaned from the monthly Race & Kink discussion series she co-hosts...

U.S. law interprets consensual kink activities as harmful, criminal acts. This makes prosecuting sexual assault cases within the context of BDSM difficult. How can you prove non-consensual sex occurred if kink isn’t considered sex in the eyes of the law, it’s assault? The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom/NCSF worked along with the American Law Institute to establish a legal definition of consent in kink. They just unveiled the New Model Penal Code on Sexual Assault: Affirmative Defense...

On episode 184 of American Sex Podcast, Sunny Megatron & sex-positive therapist, Kate Loree, look at BDSM through an atypical lens. We chat about the misconceptions we worked through as people who stumbled upon kink later in life and how that perspective is helpful now in our careers. We discuss the headspace & strategy needed to tap into the customizable nature of BDSM, plus dive into the science & psychology behind kinky play--why do masochists like suffering? What happens to...

On Ep 183 of American Sex Podcast, we talk with Sinclair Sexsmith about dominance & submission. While most are aware that Dom/sub play is common in kink, we also have a very narrow view of what it entails. D/s isn’t always cruel & authoritarian. We talk about the many ways people engage in D/s & how they find strength by surrendering to powerlessness, including: The different types of D/s & selecting areas of control Building healthy dynamics “Subs hold all the power”...

What does the Joe Rogan/Spotify controversy have to do with the freaky things you do in the bedroom? Surprisingly, A LOT! This situation uncovered bigger issues regarding corporate control of information & influence over censorship. In 2022 posting about sexual health, LGBTQIA+ activism, or thirst traps online is risky due to SESTA FOSTA, bank restrictions, and impending legislation like Earn It. Discussions about structural inequity and/or content made by marginalized creators is...

On episode 181 American Sex Podcast we have the convo you WISH you could have with your doctor . . . if they were sex & kink-positive, didn’t shame or judge, told jokes that made you snort-laugh, and had all the time in the world to answer every one of your questions about sex & g******s. Urologist Dr. Ashley Winter joins us for a fascinating chat about the medical side of the freaky things we do. Some highlights: Myth-busting & pleasure biology of g-spots, squirting, c**t...

On episode 180 of American Sex Podcast, Host & Kink Educator Sunny Megatron Is back for a second installment of free-style BDSM education. She gives helpful tips and busts myths that are commonly spread within the kink community. Topics discussed: Important similarities & differences between the terms BDSM, kink, D/s, fetish, SM Is kink a sexual orientation? The problem with online BDSM tests C**t myth-busting How age play terminology means very different things in various...

This week we talk with Andrew Gurza & Heather Morrison, the brother-sister team behind the first line of sex toys for people with disabilities, Bump’n. The idea started a few years ago with a chance conversation about Andrew’s increasing difficulty with self-pleasure due to Cerebral Palsy. Last week, the company they founded launched their first product. Some of what we talk about: Ways the sexual health & wellness industry ignores the needs of people with physical limitations The...

It’s sex toy season! Between all the holiday discounts hitting our inbox and impending supply shortages, many of us are making snap decisions to buy new gear. With more sex toys available than ever before and new technology available, wading through this sea of options can be overwhelming. This week Sunny spills all her tips for selecting toys suited to your body and specific needs so you can get the most bang (pun intended) for your buck. Some of what’s covered: Tips for sex toy...

Why are so many people into deep anal insertion? One theory is because it can stimulate the vagus nerve. Not only can this feel amazing, but it may also trigger a cascade of health benefits! Ruby Ryder of Pegging Paradise fame joins us to talk about advanced butt stuff & pegging on ep 177 of American Sex Podcast. Some of that we cover:     How vagus nerve stimulation via the back door could lead to reduced inflammation, anxiety, and egocentric behavior The somatic similarities between...

Veronika Kestrel joins us for ep 176 of American Sex Podcast to talk about one of her favorite kinks, Dollification. Dollification is doll roleplay--sounds basic on the surface but dollification is one of the most versatile and customizable kinks adaptable to both sensual and extreme play. Some of what we touch on in this conversation: Viewing kink as a collaborative art Dollification as a vehicle for other kinks/playstyles like: bondage, gender exploration, CNC, humiliation, emotional...

On episode 175 of American Sex Podcast, we talk with Codi Vore and Queen Ava about sex worker mutual aid and the organization they helped co-found, SWAID Las Vegas. Some of what we cover:  How mutual aid differs from traditional non-profits & how this strategy eliminates exploitation and inequity common in mainstream charity  Why mutual aid is especially beneficial to sex workers and circumvents barriers that are specific to this industry How the pandemic has affected the sex work...

On episode 174 of American Sex Podcast Sunny has a conversation with Amp Somers from the Watts Your Safeword Podcast about erotic humiliation and psychological edge play. Some of what we cover:  Neurodivergence & psychological kink The trauma love languages can be used for aftercare & trigger plans Negotiation considerations for humiliation play Using kink therapeutically-- what’s helpful & what’s dangerous Shame & BDSM Balancing real-world power dynamics with kink D/s...

Jamila M. Dawson, LMFT & August McLaughlin join us for episode 173 of American Sex Podcast to talk about sex, kink and trauma.  The pair recently wrote a book on the subject called, With Pleasure: Managing Trauma Triggers for More Vibrant Sex and Relationships. If you’re a human you likely have trauma and whether you realize it or not, it can affect your connection to pleasure.  Some of what we cover in this conversation: What trauma is/isn’t If “f**k” is a trauma response like...

On episode 172 of American Sex Podcast, Host & Kink Educator Sunny Megatron free-styles BDSM education, gives helpful tips, and busts myths that are commonly spread within the kink community. Topics discussed: Benign masochism & the neuroscience of BDSM Myths about sadomasochism and the notion that pain = pleasure Examining the WHY behind our attraction to certain kinks The surprising relationship between BDSM & sex  Kinksters on the neurodivergent and asexual spectrums The...