(United Mutations II – (Part 1 of 4) ‘Map of Moles’ – (Opening credits sequence) Gabbler: This is like being in a holograph. Busher: Phwizzz! Tucker: Come on Busher! Will you make space?! Dickus: Plenty of it around ya here... Spikus: We need to find out the co-ordinates otherwise we’re going nowhere Dickus, Dickus: Shhh Spikus, I know... We have to figure somethin’ out. Boghead knows how this is going to work. Spikus: And us with human cargo... Dickus: I know. Pure madness! Spikus: Do you really know what you are doin’? Dickus: No, not really... Busher: Ah, it’s quare n’ hot. Do you find it hot? Well you would, jaysis, with those boots and everything... Jagger: Hah, did you say somethin’ Ned? Arlee: Yeah it’s a bit hot... Jagger: Yeah, the shirt is stuck to me yeah? Tucker: Well take off your tops then if you’re all so hot! Arlee: You’re not even hot then? Busher: Sure all the heat is in his head... Jagger: Go on, take your top off Ned... you started it. Wheeeze! Busher: You first, Tucker: Why the fack does somebody have to be first? If you’re hot, take off your top! Dickus: What are they shoutin’ about back there Spikus? Spikus: I dunno. Dickus: I’ll check it out. Keep her steady till we hit the Van Halen’ses for the swing round and then... well.. then somethin’. Jagger: Go on Ned, take it off. Look, sure I’ll stand here with no shirt on, look! (Riiiip!) See! I’m not scared. Gabbler: He’s ripped the Sabbath t-shirt straight off him! That’s great Jagger! (clap clap) You next Busher! Busher: Peah! What’s wrong with yis? Arlee: Are ya shy Busher? Is that it? Jagger: Hah?- Busher: I’m not f****n’ shy! Tucker: No waaay, Busher is shy! Take off the v-neck Busher! And the shirt! Gabbler: Take the whole lot off! OFF! OFF! OFF! All: OFF! OFF!! OFF!! Busher: Leave me alone! Tucker: Only gettin’ hotter Busher! You may do it. Busher: I said LEAVE ME ALONE! WANT A BOX IN THE FACE? Tucker: Holy fack! Arlee: Look at HIS face! Jagger: Wheeeezzzzeeee! It’s come alive! Gabbler: What is it? Show me! Busher: What are yis lookin’ at? Stop lookin’ at me! Arlee: Busher... Tucker: Busher, the moles on your face have started moving around! Jagger: Hah?- Arlee: Oh my god... Busher: Leave my moles alone! So what if I have loads... Tucker: But they’ve gone all Pixar on yer face. Oiiright! Dickus: What are yis shoutin’ about back here? Arlee: Busher’s face has exploded to life! Tucker: They’re making little concentrical revolutions and- Dickus: Never like gettin’ this close to a human... but... Busher: Get away from me! Dickus: Stand still ya eegit. Well would you look at that... I’ve never seen this before. Jagger: Heeee. Busher’s a freak. Arlee: Sure we knew that. Tucker: ...they look like they’re moving on an ELIPTICAL PLANE! No WAAAY! Busher: Stoppit! Gabbler: Tell us Tucker! Tucker: If I am correct, each of the moles on Busher’s face could correspond to… yeah, yeah, planets in our solar system! See? All of them buzzin’ around their orbits and if that big freckle is the sun, then… okay look, there’s Earth, Mars... Jupiter... Dickus: Is this normal in your species? We missed this bit in prep. Arlee: Ahhhh... (voices) me head... Dickus: And what is WRONG with you? In fact, what is wrong with all of yis??? Jagger: Hah? Dickus: You, the Jagger, you mumble and hear nothing half the time, you hear things you’re not supposed to, you, Gabbler, speak so fast, you confuse all humans, and this lad’s face has ejaculated spots. As for you Tucker, you were never near this intelligent the last time we met in the Chemical Factory... I'm bemused by this. Tucker: Oiiiright! I have it! Look! There’s an extra green mole on his face not accounted for in our planetary system, and that’s with all the moons! Look at the