People wonder why narcissists lie. The simple answer is that they lie to cover up the guilt, the underlying guilt and shame that was created by critical parents who may have overvalued and then devalue their their child because it was unsafe for them to tell the truth. They resort to lying, which then makes other people feel gaslit. Well, that's another word you can include gaslighting.It's a vicious cycle, because the more the the other person is confused and gaslit, the more they will try to confront the lie, which then builds a thicker wall and creates more lies and more defense is bottom line. We've got to get to the cause of the pain and work with that.