The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: The most punworthy FA Cup quarter-final in living memory, Nike vs Warner Bros in a Ted Lasso kit saga, the player eligible to play for the most different countries, tracking down the goalkeeper cited in an unfortunate dictionary definition and, once again, checking in with good old Richard Keys. Meanwhile, the panel debate whether it's better to be a "handy" side or a "useful" one...

With well over 200 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast. This week we head back to episode 61 to examine the true meaning of the phrase 'Basement Boys', and from episode 95 we bring you the midfield selections & deliberations of the Pure Europa League XI Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, James Maw and Jack Lang field March's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are childish (and borderline pathetic) nicknames fans give for local rivals' home grounds, the precise rhythm and intonation of a perfect full-time whistle, the catharsis of complimenting opposition players at Sunday League, teams being guilty of trying to score the perfect...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: surveying the wreckage of the weekend's Match of the Day saga, an unexpected Indian summer for one English manager's career, a Premier League referee texting into a music radio station and yet another example of a thing being dubbed the Rolls-Royce of Item X. Meanwhile, the panel wonder who - if anyone - can lay claim to being "the voice of football" in 2023. ** • Get a FREE...

With well over 200 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast, this week we head back to episode 154 for the definitive discussion on what constitutes the concept of 'Dreamland', from episode 78 we attempt to define what makes a goal a 'solo effort', and finally one of the most ridiculous clips in Football Cliches history as Pierre Emile Hoijberg shows "no disrespect to egg" Learn more about...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: some professional musicians wade into the Sheffield Wednesday/ABBA saga, a thorough fact-check of Dion Dublin’s goalscoring boasts on Homes under the Hammer, the parameters for a "slaloming" dribble, the most versatile generic football fan outburst of all and arguably the best parody-metal song about the 1994 World Cup final you have ever heard. Meanwhile, the panel pin down...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Some more joyous local radio co-commentary, the least expected product in the world to be described as a "Rolls-Royce", Martin Tyler and Peter Drury on proverbial cake-topping scorelines and an unprecedented way of saying a game is still goalless. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Football Clichés Quiz returns for a seventh edition. Reigning champion Michael Cox looks to retain his title once more as the takes on ex-Opta information ace Duncan Alexander across another five rounds of niche footballing knowledge, including Things In Football That Somehow Have Never Happened, the Premier League's foreign influx, top-flight managers with moustaches and much more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Using the word "champions" for cup winners, Jurgen Klinsmann's perfect new job, a brief history of Steve McManaman measuring space in ounces, a Sheffield Wednesday fan's ABBA dilemma and the looming prospect of a "Big Seven" in English football. Meanwhile, the panel decide what constitutes a defender "doing just enough" and ponder whether "upfield" and "downfield" really do...

With well over 200 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast, this week we head back to episode 61 to bring you an unprecedented pronunciation of an area of the pitch that made the Clichés panel reassess everything they thought they knew, and even further back in episode 46 Elis James blew our minds by helping us discover the most recognisable piece of generic football crowd noise you'll...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field February's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are watching football through a pub window, the five specific scenarios that allow you to chant "SIGN HIM UP!", players being photoshopped into the kit of the team trying to sign them and substitutes who creep onto the pitch while they're warming up. Meanwhile,...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: a Premier League centre-back namechecked on Frasier 29 years ago, what scorelines qualify as "a rout", a Match of the Day commentator responds to our scepticism over his description of a header, North Korean football journalism and a scandalous football-related question on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Meanwhile, the panel check in on an April 2022 prediction from Richard...

With well over 200 episodes in our archive we thought we'd raid our back catalogue to bring you some examples of the purest essence of the Football Cliches podcast, this week we bring you a snippet of the Sam Allardyce XI and relive the now infamous Cometh The Hour-gate Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by comedian and writer Josh Pugh for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Josh's selections are players who go to World Cups because they're "good to have around", the phrase "bringing the ball under their spell", Sunday League pre-season regimes and the complex philosophy of "playing football the right way". Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some more quintessential Glenn Hoddle co-commentary and an ex-player very...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Charlie Eccleshare for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: whether Carlo Ancelotti is the most international team-y manager who’s never managed a national team, the difference between the midfield jobs of "sniffing out danger" and "putting out fires", some exquisitely-timed Match of the Day crowd noise and at what point a gap at the top of a league turns into a "procession". Meanwhile, the panel decide if a team can ever call...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by broadcaster and 90s football video legend Nick Hancock for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Nick's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are the mundane details of timewasting, our evolving expectations of footballers' intellect, the curious mind games behind the late fitness test, manufactured matchday atmosphere, the vagaries of the football disciplinary process and lazy football...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: every recorded Jack Grealish reaction being fouled, the intensely disturbing vibe of Nathan Jones, the commentary turning point of Harry Kane's 267-goal Spurs compilation and an astonishing moment of radio-reporter synchronicity. Meanwhile, the panel decide when a team can be described as "high-flying" and discuss the nuanced meaning of the word "benched." Produced by Abi...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by James Horncastle and Michael Cox to compile the most representative lineup of players from the last 30 years of Italian football's technical quirks, huge egos and curious career paths. Their journey takes them from an early goalkeeping dilemma to an ancient but granite-reinforced back three, the inevitable Thomas Helveg, a textbook selection at left wing-back, an imported No 10 who stayed so long he essentially became Italian, a late-blooming domestic...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Duncan Alexander for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Brendan Rodgers talks about his 50th birthday in the most football way possible, the point at which goals compilations can go from "best" to "greatest", whether a fullback can be described as "box-to-box" and some far-fetched movie references on the BBC for Wrexham's FA Cup Hollywood heroics. Meanwhile, the panel decide the threshold for a stadium to become a "cathedral of...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by British comedy royalty Matt Lucas and his Fantasy Football League sidekick Elis James for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Matt's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are using football small talk to win over your other half's dad, the schadenfreude of watching the opposition's Fan TV YouTube channels after a win and the interrogation techniques faced by celebrity fans of big clubs. Meanwhile, the Adjudication...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the optimum order of the components of the "ignoring the outside noise" goal celebration, whether a goalkeeper can ever be a "passenger", an ambitious attempt to document all the types of footballing "stuff" and a potential successor to the outdated goalmouth-scramble descriptor of "Keystone Cops". Meanwhile, the panel enjoy Mikel Arteta being brought to touchline justice and pick...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller field January's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the need to explain dramatic football moments to nearby people who don't care, the provocative scourge of Combined XIs, the functional pointlessness of centre circles, and the underreported confusion of "Last 5 Matches" form graphics. Meanwhile, the Adjudication...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: How and where players can "tear it up", whether it's possible to be a "lovely little player" in the NBA and transfer reporters clashing over the linguistic nuances of the January window. Meanwhile, the panel attempt to standardise one of the most cluttered punditry cliches of all and decide which Premier League goalkeeper most looks like an outfield player forced to go in...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by former Opta ace Duncan Alexander for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Duncan's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are lesser-known football-influencing dogs, the exact threshold at which an act of showboating triggers widespread hand-wringing and the poor souls who volunteer as assistant referees in youth football. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel mull over a third dimension to send a...

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and - for his 100th appearance on the pod - David Walker. On the agenda: the specific footballing skills referenced most in football chants, what constitutes being "held to a draw" and a revolutionary but unacceptable usage of the oldest football cliché of all. Meanwhile, the panel consider the merits of "the Maracana of skiing" and weigh up the fundamental footballing differences between a "carthorse" and a...