We get a lot of emails from beloved souls who have been absolutely terrified by their church and Christian friends. Cause, you know, that’s so Christlike. (sigh) They are told that they’re not enough, that their parents are right, their pastors are right, and they’re just awful if they can’t change their fundamental core. That they are doomed. No Beloved, you’re NOT doomed!   Today we talk about two kinds of Christianity and faith. They are very different, and WE get to decide which...

The church will call people a heretic for years before they finally recognize them as a saint.   If we need the church’s approval, to be validated, to be seen, a lot of the world will sit unrecognized. People whom God sees as perfect and loves unconditionally will often be sitting in the dark in tears, waiting for approval.   You don’t need to wait for approval! Why? Because, you’ve already got approval! As you are, for who you are. Because Beloved, THAT is what you deserve.  Support...

You know that debating people who are committed to misunderstanding you can be toxic. We fall down the rabbit hole and it usually does not go well – especially for our hearts and peace. You deserve better! Let me be clear: YOU are not the one who need to defend ANYTHING. And at times it’s best to just speak the truth, share a resource, and sashay away in all your fabulousness!  Today, we share a very intimate, personal, powerful email we received – and we talk about NOT wasting your...

Have you ever been told you’re cherry-picking scripture? This is when you don’t buy someone else’s interpretation of the bible, they tell you you’re cherry-picking. We’ve been told this many times, and I’m pretty sure you have been too. It’s when we won’t lay down our verses and replace them with their verses—the ones they’ve cherry-picked and thrown at us! It’s when we don’t buy into the church’s interpretation-du-jour, because it doesn’t sit well with us, even if don’t know why. So...

We hear it all the time, we know you do too: “Jesus said to go and sin no more!” Well, honestly beloved, enough is enough! Remember that Bible story: “Jesus Scatters Self-Righteous Men in the Name of Mercy and Justice!” No? Hmmm… How about this one: “The Woman Caught in Adultery.” Yeah, that’s more familiar. It’s the same story, but a completely different interpretation.   The commonly taught interpretation misses the main point, which is that these men in authority have manipulated and...

For those of us who have a religious background – it was likely ingrained in us that we are broken, fallen sinners – in need of being saved.   And how convenient – a church within walking distance who can help with that – as long as we follow, and do and believe what we are told.   But what if they are completely wrong? What if you knew that you knew that you knew that there was absolutely nothing wrong with you??  Would that change how you view yourself?  Others?  Life?  The past?  The...

Let's be clear: the false narrative that links grooming with LGBTQ+ individuals is nothing but a despicable lie, born out of hatred and ignorance.   The truth is that most child sexual abusers are heterosexual. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it.   What's at play is a sick and twisted desire for power, not love. Yes, kids ARE being groomed – prepped, taught, indoctrinated, predisosed – but what they are being groomed for is hate and conditional love and bigotry. We are being...

We have all heard about decluttering your stuff – keeping what is important and what makes you happy.   Well, the same is true with decluttering our beliefs – especially for those of us who are deconstructing from harmful, false religious teaching.   When you have a collection of beliefs that don’t work for you – that don’t focus on loving God, loving others, and loving yourself, it is such a gift to you and those around you to declutter those beliefs.   As you discover the truth about how...

The LGBTQ+ debate gets crazy out there doesn’t it?   Raise your hand if you’ve heard this one: “If two men can get married, why can’t I marry my dog?”  This is a real thing people throw around.   Or, “If two men can have sex, why can’t I have sex with a child?”   These are real things that are said by people trying to defend homophobic and transphobic views, and distract from the real conversation, from the truth.   I don’t know if they’re just inciting us, or if they really mean it… but in...

The word woke is all over our screens, the campaign trail, the news… but what does it really mean and where did it start? How did it become a bad thing? The earliest usages of woke date back to the early 20th century and the idea of Black people “keeping their eyes open” to the realities of white supremacist violence. “Stay woke!” continued as a warning call until it started to enter the mainstream and lose its original meaning. And the non-affirming, ultra-religious crowd has now...

The trouble with religious rules is that they are often motivated by fear and written by men who want to strengthen their power and control. Many of us who are deconstructing still struggle with the deeply ingrained, false, damaging teaching based in keeping the rules. In this episode, we ask ourselves “Do we have any religious rules which get in the way of loving others and loving ourselves?” And, we give you 10 religious rules that every person should absolutely break! :-)  Support...

Fear! It’s such a powerful, destructive force. We talk a lot about how so much of what we see out there – and what we face in our own hearts – is all about fear. And are we afraid of a PRETEND God?? Beloved, we don’t need to be afraid – but what do we do? So, we talk today about how we might quiet those fears, and we share two lovely pieces from the amazing writer and poet Jacqueline Woodson, from her memoir in poetry, Brown Girl Dreaming. Support the show

A lot of non-affirming Christians and churches are trying to fool you. But we are not going to let them. They are trying to change their tactics, their tone. The marketing and phrases seem to be welcoming to those in our community who are LGBTQ+. But they are not welcoming at all! To guard our hearts, we need to be able to hear and recognize these tricks, these lies. So, we want to let you know some ‘sneaky’ things you might hear from churches, people on social media, or even Christian...

We are going to talk about truth. I know that’s kind of a trigger word – as what is truth, whose truth is it.  It’s easy to get confused. Is there something we can default to?  A core we can stand on?  Especially when comes to Christianity, when that word alone can be triggering because of so much false teaching, harm, hate and hypocrisy -- unlike the Jesus they claim to follow.  So, today we’re talking about the truth that really sets you free, and about if Jesus is still relevant...

Many of you know how to respond to the accusations and arrows coming your way.  We know the truth in our hearts, but we sometimes struggle on how to respond with the confidence and peace we have. And for some of us, these questions can be a real stumbling block, especially to those new on the journey of deconstructing or of living their authentic lives. We want to address 4 questions that non-affirming Christians commonly ask that can be scary – that can cause us to pause. They shouldn’t,...

Multiple times a day, we get attacked and accused - as parents & allies. And it does not even compare to what we hear from our gay and trans kids about what they go through.  :-( One of the things we all hear a lot is that our ears are just being tickled, that we are cherry-picking verses, that we are rewriting the truth so that we can justify sin – that we are taking the EASY way out. They say that unconditional love is the easy way out! So, we're talking about this – because we know...

Every day, we hear from people who grew up in a church that teaches a conditional God who’ll drop you into hell – and if you end up there it’s your fault anyway. It’s like, you’re barely acceptable to God as it is, you lowly worm, but if you’re gay or trans or bisexual, you are basically sh*t out of luck!   That’s what many people are taught, and it’s surprisingly stuck in our heads. We know better by now, we’ve been taught better by now, but dang, the fear just keeps popping up!   We want...

Anyone out there who has people who are trying to change them? Yeah. Some with good intentions, I guess. And some, let’s be honest, with bad intentions based on fear. So, how do we respond when someone reaches out to us to help us get "back on the path", "get back in God’s will", "get back on the straight (ha!) and narrow"?? Especially if it is someone we are close to. Support the show

When we were in the non-affirming evangelical church, we did not realize how toxic it was or how sick it was making us. When we opened the box we had God in, when we began to deconstruct those false teachings, we begin to see all the symptoms – our views, attitudes, lack of compassion, judgment. We came to understand how sick toxic religion had made us.  Support the show

The false teachings about hell and the devil do serious damage to our hearts – especially those who have been rejected by the church for who they are, or for what they stand for.  It IS the number one fear for people who are LGBTQ+ and come from Christianity. It IS the number one fear for people who are deconstructing their faith.  "Oh crap, is the devil making me do all of this? What if I am wrong, could I end up in hell?"  Support the show

I think we all know parents who want their child to change. Maybe you are that parent. A Mom or Dad of an LGBTQ+ child and you feel alone, and don’t know what to do. Thank you for loving your child enough to listen to this episode. You’re not alone, and perhaps this is the answer you’ve been praying for. Support the show

Being straight… or being gay or lesbian or bisexual… or being transgender… or being queer, or intersex… is NOT a choice. It is who we are. It is how things are.  It was never a choice to be a certain way, and it is not a choice, not an option to NOT to be that way. But we hear from parents who don’t understand, from people who do understand but don’t give a crap. They say "just choose something different."  So, today we talk all about free will. Support the show

The threat is growing from anti-transgender legislation that is being introduced and passed in various parts of the country. Many of these bills are targeting transgender youth and are attempting to limit their access to medical care. Beloved, the time is NOW to stand up and speak up in support of our transgender family and friends.  Please share this important episode.  Support the show

The music at the beginning and the end of every episode is the song "Calm Me Down" by our daughter Hannah, you may know her as Saint Sinner. She is a Grammy-nominated singer/songwriter, an incredible producer, an innovative creator as a DJ artist, and she is an all-around amazing, inspiring human being with a beautiful soul. This is our 100th episode and we want to do something special! We don’t have guests on the show, but we are making an exception for this special episode, and we...

When you deconstruct your faith, sometimes people get afraid that they won’t be able to “find God again” – or Spirit, the Universe, God – however you define that.   Why is that a challenge? Because old false religious beliefs are so deeply ingrained in us, and we were taught to be terrified of anyone on the outside. And to be terrified of our own hearts. So, deconstruction can come loaded with guilt and accusations – all false and based on lies – but it can still impact us.   Can we...