For the first time, we are taking life advice questions from the little dialers and we'll see where it takes us. This week we’re discussing how we can learn to say no, long distance relationships, and confusing situationships.

The phonies are fed up with office small talk, mommy influencers, and wedding traditions. Plus, Hannah's mom makes an appearance on the pod.  embracepetinsurance.com/bern

We are all eating cold food, holding doors, and asking permission to get married in the name of etiquette and tradition. The little dialers have had enough and so have we.  hellofresh.com/50bern  Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code BERN at lumepodcast.com! #lumepod

From armpits to toilets to breeding, no kink is left unturned in this new episode of Berner Phone! 

The little dialers have committed some petty acts against exes, coworkers, neighbors, siblings, and spouses. Hannah and Des are here to justify your most petty moments.

Hannah and Des finally discuss love. They asked the little dialers about the best advice they ever received when it comes to having a successful relationship. Download the dating app for ambitious GoalDiggers, The League at https://click.theleague.com/qmhm/bernerphone. To skip the waitlist, text the code #Hannah to your concierge in the app to find your potential soulmate.

This week we’re listening to your biggest dilemmas. Someone’s boyfriend is a secret submissive, we share our opinions on losing weight for a wedding, and contemplate dating as a stripper. Hannah has standup shows coming up in Tempe, Bensalem, Sacramento, San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Baltimore, and more! Tickets here! dave.com/berninginhell  Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code BERN at...

This week the little dialers get some of the guiltiest pleasures off their chest. From chef boyardee to situationships and anal itching, we’re here to make you feel a little less guilty.  honeylove.com/BERN Recover properly with @waterboy and get 15% off with promo code BERN at waterboy.com/BERN! #waterboypartner

This week we asked our little dialers to give us the best life advice they've ever gotten! Some knowledge dropped about jealousy, performance pressure, caring too much about what people think, and marriage advice about ball sucking! Live stand up shows coming up in Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Tucson, Tempe, Buffalo, and Bensalem! Tickets here caraway.health/bern Sign up for the Dashpass student plan with code BERN

We're back this week with more pet peeves to work through your issues with road rage, self checkout ettiquette, and yawning.  Stand up shows coming up in Mashantucket, Westhampton, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Tucson, Tempe, Buffalo, and more! Tickets here

The hotline was blowing up this week because everyone is annoyed about something. We listen to your pet peeves while Hannah and Des’ generational differences are exposed when discussing directions, we advise husbands to stop asking “are you ok?”, and we might have some future stand up comedians on our hands. Upcoming stand up shows in Mashantucket, Westhampton, San Antonio, Dallas, Tuscon, Tempe, Bensalem, San Francisco, Hanover, and more! Get tickets here Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with...

Jared Freid’s comedy special 37 and Single is out now on Netflix. Go watch it now for his take on dating apps, late-night eating, and to find out why he’s still single. He explains why dating gets harder as you get older, is mad at Hannah for offering him a doughnut, and shares his craziest late-night food orders.  Come see my stand up shows coming up in Connecticut, Westhampton, Texas, Arizona, Pennsylvania, California, Seattle, Oregon, and more! Tickets here Find your forever pieces...

Berner Phone is back with our reactions to your most embarrassing stories. Bosses have been kissed, there was a lazy eye misunderstanding, and somehow JonBenet Ramsey is involved. You guys are wild and we love it.  Submit advice questions here Get tickets to my stand up comedy shows here Get 20% OFF @honeylove with promo code BERN at https://www.honeylove.com! #honeylovepod

Welcome to the first episode of Berner Phone!!! I’m always interviewing people on podcasts and on the street, but in this new segment, I get to hear from you! Stay tuned on my Instagram @hannahberner for prompts and links to submit your voice messages. This week Des joins me to hear about your beige flags in relationships. We learn about boyfriends who can’t stop smelling their hands, have a fish tank obsession, were in a Christian cult, and more!  If you neeed advice asap leave a voicemail...

This week in hell we are collabing with Tori Dunlap's podcast Financial Feminist: Her First $100k. We discuss smart money tips to fight the patriarchy while sharing our personal experiences of navigating finances and negotiations.  I have stand up shows coming up in Connecticut, Westhampton, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Tuscon, Tempe, Buffalo, and more! Get tickets here!

Sabrina Brier is a New York comedian who plays “the girl who bullied you in high school who is trying to be an influencer” on her viral TikToks. She explains why she’s wearing a wedding ring, makes a bold claim about pizza, talks about childhood bullies, and why she embraces cringe. Come to my stand up shows: Tarrytown, Mashantucket, Westhampton, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Tuscon, Tempe, and more! Get tickets here!

The gorgeous Cat Cohen is in hell today to discuss her new live show, her demons, and top tier banter. Come to my stand-up shows: Newark, Tarrytown, Mashantucket, Westhampton, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston! Get tickets here!

The internet's realest mom, comedian Zarna Garg, came to hell! She opens up about being kicked out at 14, her one-of-a-kind career, and why mother-in-laws are the worst.  Come to my stand-up shows: Newark, Tarrytown, Mashantucket, Westhampton, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston! Get tickets here!

The gorgeous Cat Cohen is in hell today to discuss her new live show, her demons, and top tier banter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Emily Hope Morse is a sex therapist, author and media personality. She is the host of the long-running podcast Sex with Emily and she tells us how to have smarter sex! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Comedian Carmen Lynch is on the show to talk about her new special coming out! See her record her special live at the Comedy Cellar in NYC on June 26th. Tickets here! I have stand up shows coming up in NYC, Newark, Westhampton, Tarrytown, Connecticut, Texas, Arizona, Chicago, Milwaukee, and more! Get tickets here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashley is back with a new comedy special out that I LOVED! Watch it here! She opens up about her open relationship, how is happened, and how it's going! She also talks about the process of creating her first special and creating comedy as a lesbian in a straightt male dominated field. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Michael Blaustein is a comedian and cohost of Stiff Socks who stopped by hell. He was hard to break but I ultimately did it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Des is back!!! We take questions from the little devils. We start light and then it gets pretty heavy. We are also fostering Abby! If you are interesting in adopting this little angel, check her out here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The icon herself, Maria Menounos, is in hell with me today! We discuss why she finally decided to tell people about surviving pancreatic cancer, understanding warning signs in her body and mind, working in a male dominated industry, and becoming a parent this summer! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.