When Julie Merberg returned home from a work trip to find a scale and a pile of baggies on the table, she knew her son's involvement with substances was getting out of control. In the early days of the Hopestream Community, not many people showed up to the group calls I offered to members. Julie and I were the only people who showed up the day I met her, but connecting with her one-on-one in the depths of her crisis was an incredible blessing for me and the entire community. Foreshadowing her current work with Hopestream, Julie had already formed her own neighborhood support group of parents after her 16-year-old son began abusing Xanax and marijuana. As with so many of us, Julie and her husband tried to change their son’s behavior with punishment and control but found that it only made him more oppositional and defiant. Three years later, Julie's son has embraced a life of recovery, and they both work to share the wisdom they've gained while getting there. In this episode, we discuss: The importance of trusting your gut when choosing therapy and recoveryHow untreated anxiety was driving Julie’s son to self medicate in unhealthy waysWhy parents shouldn't expect to find "the one that works" when it comes to treatment programsAccepting that relapse is often part of the journey to recovery for young peopleHow self-care is also a service to our familiesWhy Julie thinks that the all-or-nothing 12 Step approach doesn't work well for teensResources: CMC:FFC Beyond Addiction book Free Spirit Experience Julie’s website Hazelden Betty Ford Adolescent program Theoppositeofaddiction.substack.com recoveryworksny.com The podcast is now part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community: www.hopestreamcommunity.org Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms, at www.hopestreamcommunity.org/the-stream/ Find us on Instagram: @hopestreamcommunity Download my free e-book, HINDSIGHT: Three Things I Wish I Knew When My Son Was Misusing Drugs: www.brendazane.com/hindsight Join my email list: www.brendazane.com/email