How can I help my partner heal from the impact of my porn and sex addiction? Psychotherapist and author Carol Sheets reveals what sexually betrayed partners need most, and how you can "help her heal" when you create safety, practice empathy, offer validation, and take ownership without going into shame. This episode is super practical and full of great ideas! Carol Juergensen Sheets (LCSW, CSAT) also known as "Carol The Coach" is the author of many books and workbooks about sex addiction and...

How do you shift from self-condemnation to self-compassion? Chris Bruno reveals how to discover the story behind your struggle with porn. You'll learn what it looks like to rediscover your true "masterpiece-ness" even in the throes of a porn relapse. Our deepest healing lies in turning to the God who knows and created us in His image. Chris Bruno leads Restoration Project and ReStory Counseling, where he helps people come alive. He is a licensed professional counselor who has decades of...

What can sexual fantasies teach us? How should we analyze them? In this episode, Drew and Doug vulnerably share and analyze each other's sexual fantasies so you can understand what this work practically looks like and how to do it well. The best place to start is Husband Material Academy, which opens up on January 1. Learn more at joinHMA.com

What desires are commonly symbolized by the penis, breasts, kissing, oral sex, nudity, diapers, and feet? Find out in this short and sweet introduction! Related episodes: Theology Of The PenisUnwanted Sexual AttractionSexual Arousal vs. Sexual DesireHow To Interpret Sexual FantasiesWhat Should I Do With My Sexual Desires?Here is the video I mentioned: Trauma and Sexual Fetish | Where Do Fetishes Come From? THIS FRIDAY, JANUARY 5...Start 2024 with less shame and more grace at The Porn Free Man...

What is the Immanuel Approach? How can it help Christian men outgrow porn? Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson unpack this amazing way to change your brain and heal your heart through connecting with Jesus experientially. You'll also hear a refreshing reminder of how Jesus relates to you with unconditional love, even in your deepest shame. Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson are the founders of Face To Face Ministries. They are passionate heart healers who have dedicated their lives to activating and...

What if certain kinds of medication can make it easier to outgrow porn? Adam O'Neill unpacks the benefits and drawbacks of supplementing your sexual recovery with medication such as naltrexone. You'll get wisdom about what to expect and how to decide what's right for you. Adam also addresses common objections and concerns about receiving psychiatric assistance with compassion and clarity from a Christ-centered perspective. Here are the case reports Adam mentioned about naltrexone: Internet...

How has porn impacted your approach to recovery? Learn 7 pornographic styles of recovery and what healthy recovery looks like instead. Pornographic recovery is: isolatedescapistavoiding painimpatientpassive/consumingcold and harsh.Healthy recovery is: relationalembodiedembracing painresilientproactive/creativewarm and kindThe idea of "a pornographic style of recovery" is based on Andrew Bauman's concept of "a pornographic style of relating" (PSR) as described here: A Pornographic Style Of...

What helps men feel safe to open up and heal from trauma? Dr. James Reeves (the pirate pastor) tells the story of facing his childhood wounds, building a hospital church, and creating the Fearless Series—which is fantastic! The Fearless Series for Men is designed for Christian men to get the conversation started about childhood sexual, physical, or emotional trauma and how it has affected their lives. Check it out: The Fearless Series For Men: fs4men.comThe Fearless Series For Women:...

What if your church was a safe space to outgrow porn? Sam Black explains how porn recovery ministry leads to less work for pastors, more generous donors, more passionate volunteers, and a legacy of health for the next generation.  Sam Black is the Director of Recovery Education at CovenantEyes. He has edited 16 books on the impact of pornography and authored two: The Porn Circuit and The Healing Church. Buy Sam's new book (this is a paid link): The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong...

Have you ever felt uncomfortable or unsafe while chatting online? In this episode, I’ll share practical tips on how to escape creepy conversations… and 5 reasons why we sometimes don’t. At the end, you’ll hear real-life examples of how I have responded to unwanted sexual communication.  Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4:...

Have you ever been rejected? Roy Kim explains how rejection and internalized racism drove him to pornography. He also opens up about what it's like to struggle with with porn as a pastor—and as a male betrayed partner. Roy offers real hope through the power of compassion and community. Roy Kim, M.Div, CSAT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Southern California focusing on sexual addictions and betrayal trauma. He is a former pastor and enjoys partnering with pastors to educate...

Do you know what it's like to struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) in addition to porn? Andrew Loyd does; he has also experienced years of freedom. In this episode, Andrew unpacks how OCD and unwanted sexual behavior can be related. With curiosity and compassion, he also highlights the path to healing. This episode is important! Andrew Loyd is the founder of Restored Story Coaching. He is an ordained minister, Certified Enneagram Coach, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He is...

Who was David—the boy, the king, the sex offender? In this episode, you’ll see David’s sexual story from a new angle. You'll also get a taste of church with Husband Material Men through the dramatic reading of Scripture, confession of sin, assurance of pardon, and Christ-centered preaching by Drew Boa. This sermon was delivered on September 10, 2023 at the Husband Material Retreat. "God loves all parts of you and me. He did not come to destroy our parts. He came to redeem our parts."...

What is reintegrative therapy? Dr. Joseph Nicolosi Jr. explains his approach to treating trauma and how it can help men outgrow porn. Joseph also shares insights about sexual attraction, sexual development, euphoric recall, and the importance of being able to choose your own values and goals. Dr. Joseph Nicolosi Jr. is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, researcher, and clinical director at The Breakthrough Clinic in Southern California. He received his Ph.D. in 2009 from the Chicago...

How do you handle the intense urge to watch porn? This was Dan Johnson's dilemma. Dan struggled with porn for over 20 years. After re-confessing to his wife, putting filters on all his devices, joining a community of other men, and seeing a certified sex addiction therapist, he was still not experiencing the freedom he was longing for. In this episode, Dan shares the specific strategy he used to finally outgrow porn. Dan Johnson is a husband, a father, and the creator of The P.A.T.H. Plan and...

Have you ever struggled with shame or self-contempt? In this episode, you'll learn the simple formula for healing shame through vulnerability and connection. You'll also hear a vulnerable, shame-filled part of my story I've never shared publicly. What if shame is actually not a curse, but a clue to our hearts and what we really need? Shame is a normal human emotion that shows us how much we care. Instead of using shame as a weapon, let’s use it as a window into where we need to heal. Take...

Touch is one of our most basic human needs. But many of us have been deprived. How can men outgrowing porn embrace healthy physical touch with each other—and prevent harm? Find out in this panel discussion with Certified Husband Material Coaches Drew Boa, Stephen Thomas, John Kilmer, and Mike Chapman.  You'll learn: the importance of safe touch for emotional and sexual developmentcultural differences in physical touch between men around the worldrules about touch for members of the Husband...

This episode answers unique questions for married men who have sexually acted out with gay porn or other men. You'll learn what partners go through upon discovery of gay porn, why transparency matters, and how we can pursue connection with other men while continuing to rebuild trust with our wives. Tamara Lichfield provides support for women who have experienced betrayal trauma at Becoming Shatterproof LLC.  Tamara has been trained by APSATS (Association of Partners Of Sex Addiction...

In this workshop led by Drew Boa, you'll learn how to connect with your inner child like never before.  To complete the exercises, you will need: A piece of paper (digital documents will NOT work for this)3 different crayons or colored pencils (if not, just use a pen)A posture of curiosity and willingness to try something newTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free...

How do you take action after relapse for growth and healing without using shame or punishment? After a porn relapse, what do appropriate consequences look like? Nick Stumbo and Trevor Winsor are members of the Executive Team at Pure Desire Ministries. Together, they host the popular Pure Desire Podcast. Free tools mentioned in this episode: Recovery Action Plan (for when a relapse has occurred)Escape Plan (for when we are triggered or tempted)Relapse Prevention Plan (for day-to-day life)The...

In this episode, you'll hear the inspiring story of George Morning ("Coach G"). We talk about the challenges faced by black men and men of color in outgrowing porn—and how societal pressures, misconceptions, and the normalization of addiction intensify these challenges. Coach G highlights the importance of finding relatable support and the power of positive internal dialogue. George Morning (Coach G) is a Certified Addiction Recovery Coach. After 30+ years as an addict and losing family,...

In this episode, I'll share 7 things that shifted my sexual fetish to become less intense, less frequent, less disruptive, and less arousing. NOTE: I believe trying to alter sexual attraction is both unethical and unhelpful. My fetish has not been removed or replaced, and that is not my goal. Rather, my fetish lost its power through a series of shifts that took place as I pursued healing and freedom from porn. Here are the 7 things that helped me: Talking about the fetishUnderstanding the...

What does psychodrama actually look like? In this episode, Rick Carlson tells the amazing story of his psychodrama process at the Husband Material Leaders Retreat. Register now for the upcoming Husband Material Retreat at husbandmaterial.com/retreat The early bird discount ends on August 1st. Rick Carlson is a Recovery Pastor, Life Coach, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at comebackcoaching.org Dr. Doug Carpenter is an author, clinical psychologist, and Certified Husband...

What is psychodrama? How can it help men outgrow porn?  In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains why this powerful type of therapy creates profound healing experiences and accelerates freedom from porn. Picture this: you're on stage. You're the protagonist in your own drama, undoing and redoing the story of your life. But you're not alone. Your director is attuning to you. Your auxiliaries (other actors) are supporting you by playing the roles you need them to play. Your audience members...

Have you ever pretended to be fine when you're really not? In this episode, Stephen Thomas explains "I'm Fine Syndrome"—what it is, why we struggle with it, and how to crush it. You'll learn the importance of honoring your wants and needs...and the power of being authentic. Admitting you're not fine is an act of bravery and the first step towards true freedom. Stephen Thomas is a husband and father who has enjoyed freedom from porn and hookup culture for over 14 years. He is a Certified...