Why do we get angry? How can we challenge our immediate reactions? And what's the best way to articulate our feelings without passive aggression or a blow-up?  In this episode, you'll learn four Stoic tips to turn potential conflicts into opportunities for personal growth and stronger relationships. Become a member of the Live Without Borders Community ❤️Let’s continue the conversation. Head on over to my blog on Substack for more on how to thrive through better communication, Stoicism, and...

I’m reading David Fideler’s excellent book Breakfast with Seneca, where he quotes Seneca in one of his letters:  “If you want to escape your troubles, you don't need to be somewhere else: you need to be someone else.”  Those searching for meaning or purpose in life might think a new place will provide answers. But a new location, a new job, a new partner doesn’t guarantee a better life or a fresh start.  Finding purpose involves understanding your values, interests, and goals. It’s internal...

Our intentions don’t always line up with our outcomes, and misunderstandings lead to anger, sadness, frustration, and conflict. In this episode, I’ll talk about intent vs impact, which is more important, and how to effectively and ethically communicate your intentions. Of course, I’ll be weaving in the timeless wisdom of the Stoics. Hi, I’m Sarah Mikutel, your communication and mindset coach, an Enneagram 9 expat in England, and practicing Stoic.  Introverts come to me to learn to speak...

Introvert Emergency Kit   Click here if you're ready to become a less anxious, more charismatic public speaker. When it comes to public speaking, what exactly are you afraid of?  Most people I talk to don’t explore their fears at all – and this makes them worse.  The thought of public speaking brings up such uncomfortable feelings that they try to ignore them or stuff them down – which is why they continue to suffer from speaking anxiety, one of the most common fears in the world.  How is an...

We often hear how negative self-comparisons can be, especially when it comes to social media. But what if we could use comparison as a force for good? A tool to help us grow and flourish at work and in our personal lives?  Great news, we can! Today you’ll learn how to stop negatively comparing yourself to others and start measuring your progress in healthier and more productive ways. Plus, you’ll learn the scientific theory about why you’re actually more likable the less perfect you...

Let's be real. We are smart people with an unhelpful habit of numbing out instead of taking action on our dreams.  If you relate with any of the following then listen to this episode ASAP: - find it difficult to stay motivated and focused on goals - tendency to give in to distractions and urges that hinder progress - struggle with procrastination and over-indulgence in unproductive activities - regularly break commitments to yourself but never other people We all have our vices. That...

Ever been cut off mid-sentence and feel a whirlwind of emotions – frustration, anger,  embarrassment? Why do we, as Enneagram 9s, take interruptions so personally, and how can we handle them with grace? I'm your host, Sarah Mikutel, and in this episode, I dive into effective communication and mindset strategies that will help you be seen and heard. By the end, you'll be equipped to handle interruptions confidently, communicate effectively, and enjoy life with less anxiety....

What do courage and resilience truly mean? This Memorial Day, I reflect on the incredible bravery of the 'Greatest Generation' during World War II, drawing inspiration from my visits to historic locations such as Auschwitz and Churchill's War Rooms in London. From blackouts to rationing, the everyday experiences of European civilians during WWII serve as a testament to human resilience. In the film Saving Private Ryan, a dying Captain Miller says to Matt Damon's character: "Earn this."...

Have you ever noticed how our thoughts and reactions can create unnecessary stress, or cultivate empathy and understanding for others? On a recent flight to Florida, I was reminded of the power of perception and emotional resiliency. I share the story of passengers clapping after a smooth landing, the reactions of those around me as a father rushed to exit the plane, and how the simple words of a child turned turbulence into an exciting adventure. Inspired by the wisdom of Epictetus,...

Harvard researchers have been studying what makes people happy for decades.  Since 1938, they’ve been following the same people, and then their families, to learn more about what makes a good life. This is the longest-running study of its kind involving hundreds of people across different walks of life. JFK was even involved when he was a student.  So what did they discover in this happiness survey?  Money, fame, and awards don’t lead to long-term happiness. Here’s what does — good...

I’m hosting a 2023 Goal-Mapping Workshop on Jan. 14. It’s free and a replay will be available for a few days after if you register in advance.  This isn’t a lecture – it’s a very interactive session. You’ll: Create a vision for your year that aligns with your values and prioritiesBreak down your big goals into manageable tasks that don't overwhelm youDevelop a plan of action to stay on track and avoid procrastinationPrioritize your tasks and projects in a way that helps you stay focused and...

Around January 1, we set goals that we intend to keep. But most of us break these vows before the month is over – why? What’s the real reason people won’t change? And how can we use Stoicism and modern psychology to start?   To truly be free and move forward, we need to cultivate helpful thoughts and let go of unhelpful ones. This is how we become resilient and learn to flow with life instead of fighting it.    But what if you’re not even aware of your unhelpful thoughts?    I’ve talked about...

What does Auld Lang Syne mean and why is its message so important? Find out in this episode. Also, Happy New Year! What are your intentions for this year? https://sarahmikutel.com/ I’m hosting a 2023 Goal-Mapping Workshop on Jan. 14. It’s free and a replay will be available for a few days after if you register in advance.  When: 10 a.m. EST, Jan. 14 How long:  60-90 minutes Where: Online – you’ll receive a link closer to the date How: Book your space here

It’s that time of year when we encourage each other to slow down, appreciate what we have, and be present with others. But how do we stay in the moment when our minds keep drifting to what’s happening next week, or what occurred 10 years ago? That’s what this episode is about. Sarahmikutel.com I’m hosting a 2023 Goal-Mapping Workshop on Jan. 14. It’s free and a replay will be available for a few days after if you register in advance.  When: 10 a.m. EST, Jan. 14 How long:  60-90...

“Putting things off is the biggest waste of life,” Seneca says, “it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today.” Seneca, On the Shortness of Life. Most of us don’t follow through on our New Year’s Resolutions because we treat them like wishes and not goals. Ideally, if we want to achieve a goal, we map out a plan to achieve it and follow through. Today’s episode...

Quick reminder in case you need it…Even if you don’t feel like a particularly courageous person, you’ve acted bravely at some point in your life. Maybe you stood up for someone. Traveled solo. Moved abroad. Said no. Admitted when you were wrong. Jumped out of a plane. Cried in front of someone.  You have what it takes to show up courageously every day, but that doesn’t just magically happen. Here are four daily practices you can do to build your courage (a core Stoic virtue)  and...

We live in an age of cowards. Of people going along with the crowd because it’s the easy thing to do. It feels safer to throw stones at the other side than it does to stand for something positive and hopeful. There’s risk in questioning things and seeking other perspectives, whereas joining in the mob costs us nothing (except perhaps our character). Courage is about stretching out of your comfort zone and doing the right thing. You won’t always get congratulated for that, but, when it comes...

Most of our suffering comes from thoughts that we let run wild in our brains.  We spend a lot of time each day rehashing different conversations and situations in our mind, and we think that we’re just reviewing facts. But we’re not. We’re reflecting on our own points of view, assuming what others think, worrying about the future, and ruminating about the past. The ancient Stoics understood that our thoughts are nothing more than stories we tell ourselves.  And modern mental health...

Janus is the Roman god of beginnings and endings, transitions and passageways, doorways and duality, amongst several other things.  And he was one of my favorite sculptures in my town’s art Triennial this year, formally known as the Creative Folkestone Triennial 2021.  High up on the East Cliff, in a little park overlooking the ocean, stood this massive head of Janus, who’s typically portrayed with two faces, one facing toward the future and the other face looking toward the past.  That's...

A few months ago, I downloaded the Waking Up meditation app. Founder Sam Harris compares the average mind with a sky clouded with light pollution. He says that meditation is like building a telescope that can cut through that fogginess so you can access “the sky of the mind.”  And that’s what the Enneagram and Stoicism help us do, as well. Cut through the clouds to get more clarity and set us free from our patterns. But we can’t change who we are by simply thinking about it, or passively...

In my episode on Stoicism and the Art of Happiness, Donald Robertson offered some techniques we can use to manage our anger toward people who hold views that we strongly disagree with. Today I want to talk to you about becoming more aware of your anger style, and to share more practices you can use to conquer your anger and also to learn from it. And you might learn about your partner or parent’s anger style, as well. Because we don’t all experience anger in the same way. Some people...

For several years I've been interviewing women like myself who packed up everything to start a new adventure in another part of the world. One of the core values that I talk about is that we will never have this day again -- make it matter. It's my softer way of saying 'If you died tomorrow, would you be satisfied with how you lived this day?' I knew I didn't invent this way of thinking but I didn't realize that Stoics have been talking about this for thousands of years until I learned...

Even though I haven't lived in the U.S. for 10 years, I've been in Italy and England for most of this time, I still pay close attention to my home country. At the time of this recording, it's 2020. The U.S. just ended the most contentious and vitriolic political campaign season I've seen in my lifetime. I see the divisiveness and bitter partisanship. People are becoming more tribal. Canceling out opposing views. At the same time people seem desperate for connection and to be part of...

Why hello there. The holiday season has just about come to an end, but I hope you are still finding time to relax this weekend. If you’re looking for something to listen to, I wanted to let you know about my new personal transformation podcast, Part of Something Greater, a show for peacefully ambitious people who are ready for more peace, happiness, and connection in their life. I’ll be talking a lot about raising self awareness through Stoicism and the Enneagram and while all 9 types can...