How hard should husbands and boyfriends try on Valentine's Day? Really hard, you knuckleheads! Larry overcomes his own knuckleheadedness to find a good Valentine present. Hear about the sheiks of oil jewelry store and the history of Valentine's Day. And Larry talks about the movie "Shakespeare in Love" and recites the poem "Two Valentines" by Eugene Field. http://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "27 thousand dollars for a thing?"

Larry tries to figure out why he dressed up for his eye doctor appointment. Who is he trying to impress? And we hear why condoms come in packs of 3, 6 and 12. Plus, Larry talks about the movie "An Officer and A Gentleman," and recites the poem "Courage" by Robert William Service. https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "It's wiser and smarter than I ever gave you credit for."

Larry shuffles all around the mall in an attempt to find decent presents. Will he have any luck? Also, he explains who Tom Mix is and why is is on the mountain. Then Larry recites the poem "As Long As Your Eyes Are Blue" by Banjo Paterson and talks about the classic WWII movie "The Longest Day." Quote of the week: Maybe he had it coming." https://LarryMillerShow.com

Larry talks about his unsuccessful campaign to be voted Fall Festival Queen and his short-lived career as a kiddie protester. Then we hear about the great chariot scene from "Ben Hur" and Larry recites "Sand Dunes" by Robert Frost. Quote of the week: "Don't just smoke an L&M. Vote for one!" https://LarryMillerShow.com

Inspired by the movie "The Big Easy," Larry recalls some fond memories of working in that great American city, New Orleans. Larry also gives a tip of the hat to the late Buck Henry and recites the poem "Change" by Ella Wheeler Wilcox. https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "Three fingers of whiskey in a number four washtub."

It never rains on Milleronia, but it's raining like crazy in Southern California! Larry talks about the big rain and how people lose their minds during it. https://LarryMillerShow.com

With the holiday season afoot, Larry continues his annual tradition of re-telling his classic story, "Does He Drink Coffee?" Also, Larry reluctantly allows some holiday cheer on his volcano island. From Larry, all of the staff for The Larry Miller Show and the scientists who maintain Larry's weather control machine, thanks for listening and we'll see you in the new year! https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "When did it become December?"

Larry's friend decides to run for office. Will Larry get the public service bug as well? Getting in the holiday way, Larry recites the poem "Christmas Bells" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Then he talks about a magic movie moment from the classic "Our Man Godfrey." https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. What's he do, sell insurance?"

Larry recaps his fantastic Thanksgiving, including the can of Ocean Spray jellied cranberry sauce that his wife bought just to make him happy. And Larry talks about his favorite scene from Starship Troopers, then recites "Acquainted With The Night" by the great Robert Frost. https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "Well, half of that I like a lot."

A special episode to listen to while driving to Thanksgiving at Grandma's house, or while hiding from your family in the basement. Larry has a run-in with a little old lady who just doesn't like Thanksgiving. https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "Our house must have looked like a brothel in Texas."

Larry tells you all you need to know about Thanksgiving. "Just put a sock in it and toss in a turkey. It's not a vegetable holiday, anyway." Then he gives a sturdy defense of Pluto and recites the Robert Frost poem "Stars." https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "Yes it is comma stupid."

Fans of the show will know that "the hamper situation" has long been the Alsace-Lorraine of stately Miller Manner. Domestic tranquility is finally achieved, as the best hamper in the world is finally found! (See it and buy it here! https://amzn.to/378fsSp). Then Larry talks about what an "actor's moment" is, and discusses a great one in the Steve McQueen classic "The Cincinnati Kid." https://LarryMillerShow.com

In honor of the upcoming holiday, Larry tells the tragic story of the last man to die in WWI. Then Larry recites the poem "Dirge For Two Veterans" by Walt Whitman and talks about the famous Russian roulette scene from "The Deer Hunter." http://LarryMillerShow.com

Larry is hassled by a parking enforcement attendant and talks about the "next time guys" -- those people who wag their finger at you, but say they won't cut you any slack "the next time." Then Larry recounts a few favorite moments from the classic '80s action film "Commando" and also gives a tip of his hat to Hulk Hogan, who he worked with on the movie "Suburban Commando." Finally, a recital of the poem "Fear No More" by the great William Shakespeare. https://LarryMillerShow.com

Larry celebrates his birthday at a nostalgic dinner with an old friend. The restaurant was so fancy, it had tablecloths even! And Larry sings the virtues of the birthday nap. Then we hear about the classic movie "Friendly Persuasion," and Larry recites the poem "Pilgrims" by Robert William Service. Quote of the week: "I like cotton. I just like cotton." https://LarryMillerShow.com

Who wants to annoy a doctor? Larry does. Or at least it works out that way. Hear how Larry's crabby day turned into a chance to make someone else happy. Then Larry talks about the Hitchcock classic "Rear Window." And for Poetry Corner, Larry recites another one for OctPOEber, "To One Departed" by Poe. http://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "I'm not complaining about that. I can if you want."

Larry gives advice for the upcoming Halloween season. Just be a hero and let them have candy. We also hear about the fun of buying Santa Claus a drink and the goofballs at the United Nations. Then Larry talks about the Walter Matthau classic "Hopscotch" and recites the poem "Love's Labour Lost." https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "I don't like demons. I don't like devils. I don't like being afraid."

Larry tries to suppress his crankiness as he endures a nearly comical string of wacky hotel rooms in Seattle. Then Larry recites "A Very Short Song" by Dorothy Parker and talks about the great John Wayne movie "The Searchers." Quote of the week: "I'm happy. I always am except when I'm really cranky." LarryMillerShow.com

Larry has peaceful and nearly spiritual experience at the supermarket and tries to understand why and how to make it happen again. Then, Larry talks about a great scene from the movie "Miller's Crossing" and recites the Shakespeare Sonnet "So Are You To My Thoughts As Food To Life." http://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "Sonnet 75, that wasn't the first one he wrote. There were 74 before that."

Larry is reverse stalked by a woman at Ralphs while he searches for oregano. Then he recites "Nurse's Song" by William Blake, and talks about the movie "It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World." And if you want, he'll bring you a banana for your monkey. Quote of the week: "He kicked the bucket." https://LarryMillerShow.com

Larry goes skiing, crashes and wakes up thinking he's an Eisenhower. Also, he recites the poem "Destiny" by Emma Lazarus and then talks about the classic movie "Dead End." Quote of the week: "One of your singers here just hit a parked snow plow."

Larry's been to a bunch of Yankees games, but the best game he ever saw was far, far away from a big stadium. Hear about that and "the baseball clap." Also, Larry is flummoxed by what he's supposed to do on Labor Day. Then he recites the poem "Comfort" by the great William Service and talks about the movie "The Final Season" starring... Larry Miller? https://LarryMillerShow.com

Larry gives a tribute to John McCain and Neil Simon. Then he talks about being in "The Odd Couple" in high school, and later meeting Neil Simon and starring in one of his plays on Broadway! We also hear about Larry's new doctor and a very gracious parking attendant. And Larry talks about the Clint Eastwood classic "Sudden Impact" and recites "Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye. https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "It's going to look like you wrote with your...

Larry likes watching the Rifleman and taking a shower more than going to the beach. In his 30 years in Southern California, he's only been to the beach twice. Find out why. Then Larry talks about the classic movie "The Westerners" and recites "A Thing Of Beauty By John Keats." Quote of the week: "It was like the Washington Monument with stairs." https://LarryMillerShow.com

Never follow an animal act and you can't hide a body in the back of smart of a car. These are a few of the pearls of wisdom imparted by Larry on this week's show. Larry also recites "The Outlaws" by Rudyard Kipling and talks about a great moment from the classic spaghetti western "Once Upon A Time In The West." https://LarryMillerShow.com Quote of the week: "It's Latin for OK, if we have to."