Most people have a hard time responding to verbal attacks or written jibes in emails, texts and other communication because it puts them in react mode instead of respond mode. There are 5 types of conflict resolution strategies according to Thomas Kilmann model. Find out if your default conflict resolution communication strategy is reflective of a fox, shark, teddy bear, turtle or owl. The BIFF response method will help you respond to hostile emails and other communications and make you feel good doing it. BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm and can be used by anyone, in any situation but it does take practice. The most important thing to remember is: it is not about you. 6 steps to conflict resolution: 1. Identify the source of the conflict… what is the disagreement about. 2. Look beyond the incident…establish a common goal. 3. Discuss ways to meet the goal and request solutions. 4. Identify solutions both people can support as the best way forward. 5. Decide on an agreement. 6. Acknowledge the agreed upon solution and determine the responsibilities each party has in the resolution. The high conflict institute encourages us to incorporate their framework for effective conflict resolution, they call it an EAR Statement. An EAR Statement is a statement containing Empathy, Attention and Respect. EAR is especially helpful when you are dealing with someone who is really upset e.g. angry, sad, frightened or feeling overwhelmed. An EAR Statement helps you connect with emotionally charged people and allows them to shift into problem solving mode. Here is an example of an EAR Statement E.g. “I can see how frustrated you are by this situation, Chris and I want help. Let’s talk about it so I can really understand what’s happening. I have a lot of respect for the efforts you have made to deal with this problem.”