"Your psychological immune system is trying to keep you safe; is looking and scanning for threats, and when it finds a threat, it doesn't mobilize T-cells; it doesn't mobilize biology, it mobilizes your action. Let's say, my parents fought a lot; it got intense sometimes. As a kid I realized conflict is bad, and I just don't want to do conflict.  ''If conflict happens, I can crack a joke. I can roll over, I can be submissive, I can run away. Now I'm starting to build this paradigm similar to the immune system; whenever a conflict happens, I can do XYZ, but I'm not allowed to do ABC." === TALKING POINTS (12:50) Where do emotions come from? Years ago Onno was taught a helpful, simplified framework for how the way we interact with and perceive the world influences our emotional state (and from there, how we react/respond to the world). Getting a handle on how we're creating our own emotions is more helpful than being at the whim of others, or the environment. As long as you're not deathly afraid of snakes 🐍 you'll enjoy this part of the conversation. (18:20) Emotions are contagious. And guess whose emotions are MOST contagious? You guessed it - the Leader's. This is why it's so important (22:35) We all have a physical immune system, which gets tailored and learns and adapts to our life circumstances. It's a helpful analogy (by Kegan and Lahey) to think we also have a "Psychological" Immune System getting equally tailored depending on life experiences. Once in place, it allows and disallows certain behaviors. Which is great. . . unless your role requires you to step into some previously "off limits" behaviors. (31:20) Host, Nina Sunday, shares a formative experience of her own. (33:20) Practical next steps. Onno shares one idea for a simple next step you can take to get more clear on how your immune system is acting up, and how you can become more of the leader in your life; more conscious, more effective less reactive. Connect with Onno Koelman https://www.dynamicleaderdev.com/ Find out more about a workshop in November 2023: ''Paradigm Shift'', led by Onno Koelman and Dan Silberberg. Free Leadership Circle self-assessment online HERE: https://leadershipcircle.com/leadership-assessment-tools/leadership-circle-profile/ When you have your results, forward report to Onno and schedule a time to debrief it with you.    Connect with podcast host, Nina Sunday: All Nina Sunday sites: https://linktr.ee/ninasunday Websites:  https://www.brainpowertraining.com.au https://www.ninasunday.com/ Podcast videos on YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/@manageselfleadotherspodcast?sub_confirmation=1 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ninasunday/ Message Nina, tell her what you like about the show; recommend a possible guest. Podcast on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?... Edited by Zane Woollett Work Cited: Immunity to Change: How to Overcome It and Unlock the Potential in Yourself and Your Organization (Leadership for the Common Good), by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices