Should I Make My Online Dating Profile Now? Returning guest co-host Barb Flynn helps set up my online dating profile. Barb’s deadpan sense of humor plays well with mine—naturally, we go off into the weeds (figuratively). We discuss gobs! Warning: Barb and I drank beer before and during recording, but I sound like I beer-bonged espresso—maybe because I was both anxious and delighted to record. Also, to add context, we recorded after I had gone out twice with Miss Kayak. Some discourse is...

In this final episode of Dear Donna, I’m Finally Dating, we pick up where we left off from part one. More Miss Kayak dates! Alcohol dissolves conversation filters.  Head trash ups and downs. When should I kiss my date? Head vs. heart—which wins? Are my wardrobe issues irrational? Why you CAN'T arrive early to pick up your date. Downward dog yoga incident rears its head. Peculiar feeling—what does the gut say? Dating makes me soul-search my principles and core personality—here’s my...

“Dear Donna, I’m Finally Dating” Eight years after my spouse Donna died, I wrote this heartfelt letter to her. In the first of this two-part series, I read the letter—it’s about our first date (and how it almost ended in blows), dying, my improbable number one bucket list item, and what Donna wanted for me after her death. Along with my vulnerable random ramblings, I share intimacies—never revealed—even to those closest to me. And to top it off, you’ll hear anxious awkward details about...

Four book recommendations for the widowed. Three authors have been on the podcast as widowed guest co-hosts. The fourth author is not widowed. Her book was recommended to me by one of the widowed guest co-hosts. Now, I’m not going to have an author on the show if I won’t recommend their book. That would be awkward. And I only recommend books I have read. When I read, I underline. Write notes and questions in the margins. If I feel the book gives enough value (sorry I can’t define enough),...

The psychic prediction that came true—Is this mere coincidence? Listen and decide for yourself. After the death of her husband Tris, Jenny describes her first romantic kiss—what she didn’t feel, but what she felt. All of a sudden, he got possessive. A switch flips and jerk behavior ensues. The ethical slut: defense of a slutty widow.  This references the poly community (polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent...

Why Jenny feels guilty and embarrassed (about most of her book). Jenny goes on thirty-six first dates. More thoughts on psychic healing. Widowed with stepkids. Your spouse is gone, will your stepkids drift away? The problem with perfectionism. Critical emoji texting etiquette: This emoji will get you into trouble or into fun. I read Jenny’s essay How To Date A Widow. It’s a true tutorial I believe anyone considering dating a widow should read, and there are lessons here for all of us...

I read essays from Jenny’s book The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss. In one essay, titled Bone Cold, Jenny musters the courage to expose her innermost thoughts—pure raw vulnerability. When I ask Jenny, you’ll hear her explain what was really going on when she wrote the piece. You might wonder if Jenny’s a masochist. Jenny the psychologist sees a psychic— are psychic mediums helpful or are you playing with fire? Brutal self-punishment. How we conflate health and weight. Why angry...

Widowed guest co-host Dr. Jennifer Katz joins us. Dr. Katz is a tenured Professor of Clinical Psychology at the State University of New York at Geneseo. Dr. Katz just published her book: The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss. Dr. Katz goes by Jenny. It’s August 2018, Jenny and her husband Tris have a fifteen-year-old daughter, Maddy, and a twenty-seven-year-old son, Jonah. Two relaxed weeks before Jenny’s university work starts full-force for fall, Jenny and daughter Maddy go out...

Didn't the world stop when your spouse died? Letting go of friends and family--even if only temporarily. Since your spouse's death, are you more empathic or less or both? Glimpses of how Julie and I parent our respective kids without their respective Dad or Mom.  Hint: It's not easy.  There's no do-over.  And sometimes, you have to keep your mouth shut. Julie's engaged without a wedding date.  Why? Julie reveals the real reason. Can this be worked out? Is sabotage on the horizon? Okay,...

Julie and the supernatural hummingbirds--can you find comfort in supernatural signs. Are they God sent, serendipity, or something else? Julie and her fiancé John courageously move into a new house together.  Fearing adult kid mutinous protest, can Julie and John figure out how to celebrate their first Thanksgiving and Christmas like one big happy family?  Or does it turn into a cluster-f? Julie reveals her biggest hang-up. Julie is the outsider in fiancé John's decades-old social circle....

Julie Metzger returns and pulls back the curtains for you to see the messiness and beauty in life. Exhausted from years of holding and lifting everybody else up, who’s holding Julie up? Who holds you up? Vibes about people—how Julie trusts her gut. Julie’s zero-calorie vampire tendencies. Julie the Olympic Hugger. Are adult kids sabotaging your new life? Netflix and Chillin'—Hmmm? Wait, is Julie getting married? God-winks, serendipity, reincarnation, and more! Bullets Vibes--A...

Does widowhood define you? A therapist told me that’s not so healthy. But when you first meet someone new, how do you introduce yourself? What are your biggest widow fears? Here’s ours. Quirky sleeping habits (when no one else shares your bed). What kind of pity might you have for couples with problems? Especially when they choose not to seek professional help? I reconcile with past issues I didn’t resolve with my spouse. Now, because I'm widowed, the best I can do is forgive, release and...

Seven years ago, while on a phone call with his boss, Sherri’s husband Greg suddenly died. Sherri wants to call the boss and ask about that call. Can I convince Sherri to call Greg’s boss while we record? Sherri reveals why you won’t find a framed picture of her boyfriend in her new house. Facebook problems for the widowed—heed this warning before your pic is plastered or tagged on Facebook. Does Sherri have spies surveilling her boyfriend? Angry make-up sex. Have you ever had any?...

Seven years ago Sherri’s husband Greg suddenly died. Today, Sherri lives alone. Can you be single, widowed, and happy? Consequences if you remarry before age 60 (if you are eligible for American social security retirement benefits). Is Sherri’s current relationship like high school—on-again-off-again-on-again-off-again? We unravel some complexities of Sherri’s current romantic life. Can you enjoy the moment, or do you dwell on the future? How do you measure love? Setting boundaries so...

Barry bares his heart and shares his biggest fear. Might this be your fear too? How Barry thinks he comes across on first dates. In other words—why Barry really thinks his first dates don’t usually lead to second dates. The sting of rejection. This has nothing to do with transplants. But finding love again requires taking risks—and that means facing uncertainty—the fear of rejection. We talk about this in terms of unhappy vs. uncertain. Because according to my unreferenced research, most...

Barry’s face glows with promise and hope when he explains what one thing he’s working on—building the rest of his life around—where he finds meaning and beauty. You’ll also hear about Barry’s ninety-day date-cycle. How Barry landed on the roof of a barn. The frustration of six first dates (and no 2nd dates), and what Barry thinks it reveals. How much should you share on a first date—like a liver transplant? Dark humor for coping. When to go dutch--this might surprise you. How Barry...

Widower poet Barry Johnson returns! I first met Barry when we recorded about a year ago. Just four months before we recorded, Barry was almost dead. Three months before that recording, Barry’s life was saved by a liver transplant. In this episode, Barry makes a confession—I urge you to listen with compassion and empathy. Barry bares his heart about his depression-where it comes from-rough stuff. Is Barry still pissed at God? How work helps Barry cope. Barry reads his poem. And Barry’s...

What I’ve learned by doing more than fifty My Spouse Died Too podcast episodes. Not all-inclusive, just a taste of what I’ve discovered by talking for hours and hours with courageous widowed guest co-hosts. You’ll hear my self-accusations, personality quirks, views on life and death. How I make deeper connections with just about anybody. How to find gold in a conversation. How to listen better. And I’ll suggest a resource, if you take simple action, quickly changes your life in a profound...

Widowed at twenty-eight, Tawny Platis is the queen of dead husband jokes. Tawny is a comedian, voice actor, and host of the podcast Death Is Hilarious. Tawny’s podcast explores how comedians and creatives use comedy and dark humor to cope with grief and trauma through storytelling and jokes. In this episode, Tawny discusses her botched suicide plan.  Why laughter is like her heroin. PSDD--Post Spousal Death Disorder. Pennsylvania Sarah (she’s a lifesaver). Covid isolation perils. Bumble...

The Rebellious Widow Jill Johnson-Young packs this final episode with personal experience and generous professional advice. What you’ll discover… Stacie the Mortician—Jill’s new (and current) love connection. The reticent minister who refused to officiate Jill’s next wedding, and the baseless reasons why. Jill has a stroke on tax day—A real one. Will you grieve forever? What I was wrong about (it has to do with grieving forever). How to be like ninety-nine-year-old actress Betty White...

Part 2 of The Rebellious Widow with guest co-host, twice-widowed author, therapist, Mom, and entrepreneur Jill Johnson-Young, LCSW. Taste Part 2: How Casper comes back into the scene and what she asked Jill's Mom. How to break the widow rules so you can live life on your terms without guilt and shame. The three-page bucket List. Introducing your dead spouse. Finishing relationships—how a therapist helps you. People uncomfortable with death: which friends or family suddenly disappeared?...

Jill Johnson-Young guest co-hosts. Jill is an internationally known grief therapist, Mom, author, entrepreneur, and LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker). While in her 40’s, Jill lost her first wife Linda. Then, Jill lost her second wife Casper. Casper was first wife Linda’s hospice nurse. And now, Jill is married to her third wife Stacie. Stacie is the mortician who cared for both Linda and Casper. Reread and wrap your mind around that! But that’s not all… Jill is a Licensed Clinical...

Got psychotherapy? Freud’s field day on the couch. Tim revisits a childhood memory. Over and over and over. The last time we made love. Tim recollects. Covid loneliness. Emeric struggles. The first thing you should do each morning, no matter what. Prescribed by a world-renowned clinical psychologist and a Navy Seal. Let’s talk codependence. Cooking for One, Eating for Two. Emeric lives alone now, and it's not so easy, yet. Tim's late spouse Donna's last written word, and more. If you...

Three and a Half Years Since (3 of 4). The marriage question—are you all in? I wonder why my widowed friends say they’ll never marry again. And does that mean they’ll never be 100% “all-in” on any relationship? Who was sleeping with the librarian? Three and a half years since Donna died, what’s Tim’s identity now? After your spouse died you’re invited to a wedding. But now the invitation says You and guest. Gut punch? Is Tim still pissed at God? Woo Woo? Tim explains how he senses his...

Three and a Half Years Since (2 of 4). How not to end a relationship—Never do this chicken shyt thing. Was I right to be judgy? Why Tim mourned after his very first date. SCIENCE! The science of dating: Got chemistry? When will your family be ready to see you with another woman or man? Tim’s 30-year-old adult kid says she’s not ready. Hear what Tim says about this. Are you afraid to die? Not enough words from my Indian tribe—am I talking on borrowed time? Why are you here? (on Earth) ...